


18th Floor Balcony (Frerard)

by asotmGee, momiji_neyuki



Series: Writing With Other Killjoys [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: ALS, Abuse, Anxiety, Betrayal, Childhood Friends, Depression, Drugged Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Extremely Dubious Consent, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Illness, Panic Attacks, Rutting, Sick!Gerard, Terminal Illnesses, being used, broken trust, nurse!frank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-30 09:18:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 55,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8527594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asotmGee/pseuds/asotmGee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/momiji_neyuki/pseuds/momiji_neyuki
Summary: After losing his father to cancer, Frank develops a change of heart and becomes a CNA. Getting sick of working many dead-end and crummy jobs at nursing homes, he takes up in-home care, where he meets Gerard, an old friend from high school. Diagnosed with a terrible illness that is soon to claim his life, Gerard has a very negative outlook on life, feeling both worthless and beyond help. But, will any of that change when his old high school friend, and now caregiver, comes back into his life?





	1. The Past Isn't Through With You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So yet another collab is happening for me! This time it is the amazing _***asotmGee***_ who wrote The Light behind His Eyes. Check it out if you haven't yet! She will be putting this fic up so the updates will not rotate with my usual ones. ^-^
> 
> Please enjoy guys
> 
> Chapter Title taken from: "Kill All Your Friends" My Chemical Romance

_ “Promise me, son. Promise me that you will never give up. Promise me that you will never stop caring about the things, the people that matter in your life,” Mr. Anthony Iero spoke to Frank, lying weakly in his hospital bed with his one and only son at his bedside, holding his hand. _

_ “But Pop…I-I…,” Frank’s voice trailed off, left weak and nearly speechless at the sight of his dying father, who’s succumbed to stage four lung cancer, and is now left only inches away from death. Frank couldn’t believe this was really happening to him. He had tried to hold back his tears, but to no avail. His father was gonna really die, and there was no stopping it. He was really fading away right in front of his eyes. _

_ “No buts, and no regrets,” Anthony rebutted. “Although I wished my life was longer, I do not regret how I lived it, least of all do I regret that I had a wonderful son like you. It was hard raising you by myself without your mother, but you were a good kid and kept your nose pretty clean, and now look at you. You’re a CNA...a certified nursing assistant!” _

_ “Yeah,” Frank scoffed in discontent, shuddering at the thought of being a CNA at his dreadful job at an understaffed nursing home full of overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated CNAs, as well as rude and ungrateful residents. “One that hates his job. You know the kind of hell I go through on a daily basis at Alpine Terrace,” _

_ “That is something you are going to have to come to terms with, son. You know that--” _

_ Anthony falls into yet another violent coughing fit, his lungs weak and inches away from giving in for good. Frank comes closer to his side, comforting him and doing what he can to bring him down, but he couldn’t help but notice the blood tinging the cloth that he holds over his father’s mouth. He also cannot ignore how frail Anthony is, as well as his excessive hair loss and sunken eyes. He looks much older than his fifty years, clearly. _

_ “I’m alright,” Anthony said, despite looking far from it. “I just want to know when I leave this world that you will be alright, and that you will do what you need to in order to find your happiness,” _

_ “Oh, Pop…,” Frank sighed deeply, unsure how in the hell he’ll ever achieve that. He’s so close to losing the one man that’s raised him and loved him for eighteen years. What in the world could possibly bring him happiness when it was his father that’s brought so much of it into his life? _

_ “I need to sleep now,” Anthony said, his ill eyes growing tired. He kissed Frank’s forehead, just like he always used to do to his baby son. His lips felt like they were made of tissue paper. They were so dry and fragile… _

_ “I love you, Pop,” Frank whispered. _

_ “I love you too, Frankie…,” _

 

“Frankie? Frankie?” A familiar woman called out, snapping nineteen year old Frank Iero back into reality. It was a concerned little old lady named Rosalie, Frank’s grandmother. “You alright?”

“What? Oh, sorry grandma. Didn’t hear you,” Frank responded, still unable to shake the image of his late father from his daydreaming head.

“Lost in your head again, just like your father!” Rosalie sang playfully, making Frank chuckle a bit.

“Yeah, I was thinking about him, and the last time I had a full conversation with him before...he…,” Frank stopped, unable to get that dreaded four lettered word out of his mouth. He still couldn’t believe his dad was gone. It was all like it happened yesterday, even though in reality, Frank knew his father’s death was more than a year ago.

“I know, bambino,” Rosalie sighed, placing a comforting hand on her grandson’s shoulder. “You know he is in a better place and no longer in pain, though,”

“Yeah, I know, grandma,” Frank nodded in agreement, knowing that he can at least be happy that his dad is no longer hurting from the cancer and soggy from the chemo.

“And he would also be so proud of you, now that you’re a CNA, just like how I used to be back in the day!” Rosalie smiled, looking back at the fond memories of her days as a caregiver in a hospital for war veterans, then eventually, a full-fledged registered nurse. “So, Frankie...why don’t you tell me about your first placement? Who’s that first lucky patient that’s gonna be in the care of my grandson?”

“I honestly don’t know much about him yet,” Frank shrugged. “I do know he does have ALS, and I’ll be taking care of him,”

“Oh, you mean Lou Gehrig’s disease? How terrible for him!”

“Yeah, and I know that he’s not much older than me. I believe he’s in his early to mid twenties,”

“Oh, poor thing…,” Rosalie frowned remorsefully.

“It’s alright. Maybe it will be easier because we are closer in age. We will have more in common, plus I’ve had my experience working with quadriplegics back at Alpine Terrace. We’ll have more in common. I’m thinking that is why they chose me,”

“Is it live-in?”

“I was told that it could develop into that, but right now, I work five days a week and three nights. There’s another CNA that is caring for him, but I get the feeling that either the agency or the patient is not happy with him. That is why they said the workload could increase,”

“Will they give you a warning if that should happen, Frankie?”

“Yeah, they said they will,” he replied, hoping that it doesn’t get to that, but then again, he knew he needed the money. Desperate times do call for desperate measures, after all.

“Well, I wish you lots of luck on your first day,” Rosalie smiled.

“Thanks, grandma,” Frank said, giving Rosalie a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out the door to ride his Harley motorcycle to his homecare agency.

 

_ _ _

“So I have not received a file on my patient yet and I was only given a little bit of information on him so far,” Frank said, walking with the head of his department of the Angels of Comfort homecare agency. He pretty much thought of the woman, named Nancy, as his boss since she had been working with him since he got hired. She was a stately woman with a steel gray bun in her hair, but kind eyes. He still had a feeling that she was not one to fuck with, though. “Nancy, can you tell me a little more about him?”

“Absolutely, Frank. Here, have a seat,” the woman said, welcoming Frank to sit down at the chair in front of her desk. She sat down across from Frank and opened up the patient’s file, his care plan and all his other vital information in one big manila folder. Her green eyes scanned over it as she deciphered what to say to the curious caregiver. “Well, as you so know...this twenty-three year old man has been a sufferer of ALS for three years. You’ll be responsible for preparing meals and feeding him, changing him after meals, transferring him in and out of bed, dressing him, emptying his catheter periodically, providing transportation to doctor’s appointments, and so on. He is also to be bathed every other day, so today he’ll need a bed bath since he had one Saturday night. He tries to help out as much as he can, but knowing his condition...he’s been going downhill rather quickly, unfortunately,”

“Can I see the folder?” Frank asked, wanting to know every bit of crucial information about this man before he must head out to take care of this potentially difficult and dependent patient with ALS.

“Sure,” Nancy said, handing the folder right to Frank for him to look at. He opened up the folder and skimmed the papers for the patient’s name. It was when he saw the name that he felt his heart stop. He’s seen this name before.

_ Gerard A. Way. _

“This...this can’t be right,” Frank stuttered, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe it. Gerard fucking Way, a good friend from high school, is the man with ALS that is soon to be in Frank’s care? The long black-haired punk kid that always goofed off in Frank’s science class and sang in the school choir now has such a devastating disease that can kill him? This can’t be real. This has gotta be some kind of fucked up dream!

“Hmm? What’s wrong, Frank?” Nancy asked, concerned for her employee.

“I know him…,” Frank said shakily. “I mean, I used to know him. We went to highschool together. Oh wow, he wanted to be an artist, too. He had the talent, he was amazing at art! Three years he’s had ALS? I wonder if he ever made it to college? I know there was this liberal arts college he’s always wanted to go to when he graduated…,” Frank was lost in his memories and didn’t hear the woman calling him back to reality.

“Frank? Frank, are you alright?” Nancy called out to him, her eyes still concerned, yet sad. “I know it’s a very sad and devastating fate for someone so young, but...someone’s gotta be there to take care of him, since his family no longer can,”

“What happened to Mikey?” Frank asked, wondering about the punk kid’s younger, socially withdrawn and nerdy younger brother, who also attended St. Jude High School with him and Frank. “I mean, he had a younger brother named Michael and I do remember that he had a good relationship with his parents, even though they were a little strict--”

“I really can’t tell you much about the relationship the patient has with his family, other than his mother used to take care of him in her home...until it became too much for her,” Nancy said firmly, the stern look in her eyes telling Frank to not pry into the patient’s personal business. “Gerard currently is in the care of his younger brother Michael, who both live in an apartment together in an affluent part of Newark, but...Michael can only do so much to for his sick and dependent brother,”

“Of course. Sorry to be disrespectful of the patient's private life. Forgive me,” Frank said, cursing to himself. He knew better than that. “So when do I get to meet them?”

“Well...you are aware that your first day with Gerard is today at…,” Nancy paused, looking down at her wristwatch. “Ten o’clock sharp. I’m assuming you have no more questions before you go on your way to meet Mr. Gerard Way? It is past nine, and knowing that is takes approximately a half hour to get to his house...it is best to get going soon,”

“Wait...past nine, but it’s...oh,  _ fuck!” _

Frank watched Nancy frown at his outburst, but Frank forgot about daylight savings again and never fixed the time on his alarm clock or watch. Even though it would take thirty minutes to get to Gerard’s house, he lived across town, and if Frank was lucky, the traffic would not suck. He threw out a hasty apology as he grabbed his leather jacket and ran for his motorcycle.

 

_ _ _

“Gee? Come on Gee, time to wake up. I have your breakfast,” Mikey called out, walking into his brother’s bedroom. He placed the tray down on his bedside table and sighed. Gerard had tried to draw again yesterday, but it clearly didn’t go well. There were broken pencils and a torn-up sketch book on the side of Gerard’s hospital bed. Mikey gathered them up and placed them on the table.

“Already?” Gerard groaned, speaking through his C-PAP mask that helps him breathe right at night during sleep. He sleepily opened up his hazel eyes and looked down at his mess of failed art in discontent, knowing that his beloved craft has been drifting further and further away from the lacking ability of his sick, gradually atrophying body.

“Yeah, I have your egg whites, turkey bacon, and whole grain toast with apple butter,” Mikey said, examining the food in front of him he prepared for Gerard. To be honest, Mikey wouldn’t touch this food with a ten foot pole, but it was the diet that the doctor said would be best for him.

“Thank you,” Gerard smiled a bit, shutting his eyes from the lack of sleep he got last night, no thanks to the voices and nightmares. “Just leave it by my bedside table for now. I’ll wake up and call you to feed me in a bit,”

“No, Gee. Come on now,” Mikey protested, already annoyed with his brother. “Your new caretaker comes today. You need to be awake and ready to greet him!” he said, picking up the tray and bringing it to the bed, getting a forkful of egg whites ready for Gerard as he removed his C-PAP. “Now come on, eat,”

“New caretaker?” A bewildered Gerard asked, his brow furrowed. “Since when?”

“Gee, you know that Marco is not working out. He’s an ass, and I swear he laughs at you when you are having one of your episodes. Plus…,” Mikey paused, not even wanting to think about the way the guy looked at Gerard when he bathed him Saturday night. “I just...he needs to go,”

“You’re right, Mikes,” Gerard nodded. “I got some strange vibes around that guy. Who’s the new caregiver?”

“I think his name is Frank or Fred, I don’t honestly remember. I was really pissed when I made the phone call to the agency and I didn’t really pay attention, sorry,” Mikey said, sitting down at the end of the bed and taking Gerard’s hand. “I just want you to be taken care of, like you deserve,”

“I know, Mikey,” Gerard sighed. “I just hate seeing you and other caregivers bust your ass off for me. I know taking care of me must be a real burden...and sadly, there’s not much I can do about it. I’m waiting to die,”

“Gerard, please don’t say that!” Mikey groaned, knowing which side of Gerard is starting to come out--one he doesn’t like at all. “You know that there are people that lived with ALS for many years and--”

“And what? The longer you live, the longer your suffer,” Gerard scoffed. “Hopefully the fucking disease will kill me much sooner than some of these other people that had it for that long. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would wanna live like this, am I right?”

“Gee…,” Mikey sighed. He hated when Gerard got like this. There was no talking to him. He was too damn sick of seeing his brother get so pessimistic about his miserable sick life. Gerard's clearly accepted that he’ll die soon, but maybe...he’s accepted it too much. “I’ll wait in the living room for the caregiver,” he said, dropping Gerard’s hand and headed for the bedroom door.

Gerard knew his brother was sick of when he got cynical, but how else was he supposed to get his feelings of self-loathing and worthlessness off his chest? He had lost his ability to sing from how slurred his voice had gotten, as well as his special touch in art, due to his hands losing coordination. He huffed, taking his plate of breakfast to start eating, or else feel Mikey’s wrath of force-feeding him tons of low-sodium food and gallons of Ensure. He attempted to get himself a bite of his egg whites and bacon, struggling with his shoddy grasp around the fork. He shakily brought the food up to his mouth, just to lose concentration in his grip and drop the food all over his shirt. Already annoyed, Gerard breathed out deeply, knowing that the process of feeding himself is gonna be long and gruelling. He knew sooner or later he won't be able pick up anything, let alone a fork to feed himself. He also will sooner or later will have to have a feeding tube hooked up to pump liquid into his stomach. However, there’s one thing a part of him is happy about--his new caregiver he’s yet to meet for the first time, named Fred or Frank. He just hoped in the back of his mind that he’s not another Marco.

 

_ _ _

Frank just made it to the apartment complex that the Ways live in--a twenty story building that clearly has the word money written all over it. Nancy wasn't kidding when she said that Gerard and Mikey live in an upper-class part of Newark.

”Come on, Frank. Positive vibes here,” he whispered to himself, already feeling the hairs on his neck rise, his heart race. He took a deep breath, got off the motorcycle and placed the helmet on the seat. He walked up the ornate path and into the building, making his way up the elevator to the eighteenth floor, to room 1823, where the Ways await for his arrival. He knocked on the door, feeling his heart stop dead in its tracks as the knocks echoed throughout the hallway. Mikey opened up the door almost immediately, stunning Frank by how fast it took, like he was far more than just expecting his arrival. Mikey smiled warmly, stepping outside to greet his old high school friend.

“Good to see you, Frank. It’s been a while,” he said, eyeing Frank’s scrubs he’s wearing up and down through his thin-frame glasses. “Look at you, man. Hard to believe a punk kid like you took on the nursing field…,”

“Mikey fucking Way, what a small world this is. Fucking Jersey!” Frank stepped up and hugged Mikey, the two high school buddies reunited once again after far too long. Yeah, it wasn’t proper protocol, but he’s pretty sure protocol is out the window when you play spin the bottle with someone. “I was so shocked to hear about Gerard…,” he said, whatever chipper and carefree joy of their reunion they had gone within seconds.

“I know, I’d imagine you’d be. We all were when we got the news about the diagnosis while he was away at university…,” Mikey paused, taking a moment to explain to Gerard’s new caregiver what he’s soon to be up against. “Well...I’m assuming your care agency told you enough about him, right? You think you can handle it?”

“Like I could handle him in high school,” Frank said, pulling off his sunglasses and winking at Mikey, making him laugh a bit.

“Alright, man. You sure you don’t need to know more before I go? You got my number?” The smile on Mikey’s face quickly faded, turning to a concerned look. “Cause if anything happens...please call me, okay?”

“Nah, I got this. This ain’t my first rodeo, y’know. Go on to work, Mikes. I’m sure Gerard and I will be fine,” Frank smiled, patting Mikey on the shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “Hey, Chinese on me for dinner when you get back. We can bullshit about old times,”

“Sounds good, man,” Mikey smiled back a bit, taking out his car keys. “Well, though guy...go on in and say hi. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you again. I don’t even think he knows it’s you that’s gonna be his new caregiver. Thought I’d surprise him, y’know?”

“Same old Mikey Way,” Frank laughed as the younger Way left to make his way to to his car downstairs. After waving goodbye, Frank headed into the apartment room, slowly opening up the front door to be reunited with another one of Frank’s old high school pals--the socially awkward and artsy old friend named Gerard Way, now with a disease so devastating and unforgiving.


	2. It Was A Lie When They Said You Won't Feel A Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Gerard. Been awhile, hasn’t it? You…,” Frank stopped as he was about to say that the young man looked good, but that would be so wrong to say...still he did not look bad, though….Oh, fuck it. “...look good. How have you been?”
> 
> “Uh, well...I-I can’t say I look the greatest...b-but thank you,” Gerard stuttered, still unable to shake the fact that his best friend from high school is standing right in front of him. It’s like something straight out of a strange dream, and he’s waiting for the moment to wake up back in his hospital bed with his breakfast at his bedside. “And...well, I can’t say I’ve been all that great, either. Been better, been worse. How are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So last chapter you guys met Frank and learned about Gerard. Now with Mikey's brilliant schemeing Frank and Gerard meet for the first time in years. Will it go well or be a disaster? @~@
> 
> Please enjoy guys.
> 
> Chapter title taken from: "Disenchanted" My Chemical Romance.

In the living room, Gerard sat in his mechanical wheelchair, watching reruns of some sitcom he was paying almost no attention to. When he heard the front door open, he turned around in the chair to see his new poor soul that’s here to take care of him, only to have his jaw drop to the ground when he got a good look at who it was--Frank fucking Iero.

“F-frank?” he gasped.

Frank didn’t know what to say. He just stood there, stunned to see the same awkward, artsy punk kid now in a wheelchair, his body slowly deteriorating from a terminal and fatal disease. This is the same exact guy he went to high school with, and he has changed...a lot. Frank knew he couldn’t let himself get carried away with his own dismay and shock for his old friend, though. He’s got a patient to take care of.

“Hey, Gerard. Been awhile, hasn’t it? You…,” Frank stopped as he was about to say that the young man looked good, but that would be so wrong to say...still he did not look bad, though….Oh, fuck it. “...look good. How have you been?”

“Uh, well...I-I can’t say I look the greatest...b-but thank you,” Gerard stuttered, still unable to shake the fact that his best friend from high school is standing right in front of him. It’s like something straight out of a strange dream, and he’s waiting for the moment to wake up back in his hospital bed with his breakfast at his bedside. “And...well, I can’t say I’ve been all that great, either. Been better, been worse. How are you?”

“I’m alright,” Frank shrugged. “I mean, it’s been rough since dad died of cancer, but...I get by with my grandma’s help, y’know?”

“Oh...I’m so sorry,” Gerard said, a part of him deep down envying Frank’s late father. Why did someone like him get to die while a miserable quadriplegic fuck like Gerard has to keep going on and on, suffering every waking hour of his life?

“It’s alright. I mean, we had lost contact by then, but I still appreciate the sentiment. What about your parents, Gee?” Frank asked, curious of what the agency dared not to tell him about Gerard’s “personal life”. “Umm...I was told that you had no family other than Mikey. Did you...like, lose them like I lost my dad?”

“No, Frankie…,” he nodded, feeling his insides turn to jelly, as well as his stiff body tremble with rage at the thought of his cheater of a father. “I still have my mom, but...I lost my dad. He...he was a filthy cheater. He left mom for a younger woman. He left us not long after I was first diagnosed,”

“Oh wow, Gee...I’m so sorry,” Frank frowned. “I never thought that Don was that type of guy. How did your mom take it?”

“Oh, Donna was a mess. I find it hard to believe she’s over it, despite her telling me she truly is...and I’m pretty sure you knew damn well how overbearing she was, right? Well, ever since dad left...she’s gotten worse...much, much worse, especially with babying me all because of me being a fucking cripple,”

“Wait...I’m confused,” Frank said, furrowing his brow in bewilderment. “If you have Mikey and you have your mom...why do you need me? Not that I don’t want to be here. Hell, this beats taking care of some old stranger, and at least I’ve seen your pale ass when we used to go skinny dipping in the summertime,”

“You’ve got that right,” Gerard laughed dryly, looking back at the fond memories of him and Frank fucking around. “It’s just that...my mom couldn’t handle taking care of me anymore. She’s an old lady with a bad back, so after she stopped caring for me, she helped us get our own place and Mikey started to take care of me instead. But now...I’m declining. I need more help, unfortunately. Just waiting until I finally drop dead, really,”

“Damn Gee, that’s no way to talk! You got to make the best of what you have--”

“How can I? I’m just a dependent, immobile sack of shit that’s just gonna get sicker!” Gerard exclaimed, shaking a little in the seat of his wheelchair. His eyes suddenly widened, knowing that upsetting his new caregiver is a bad idea. “I...I’m sorry, Frank. I didn’t mean to lash out like that. It’s just hard sometimes…,”

“It’s alright, man. It’s not like I haven’t seen it before. I’ve worked with some terminally ill patients that gave up all hope. You are not terminally ill, though. There are all kinds of research out there and you never know what they will come up with tomorrow, y’know?” Frank smiled, remembering his father’s words of wisdom.

“If you say so,” Gerard shrugged, deciding that right now is not worth the time to fight with Frank about his stupid illness. After all, it was good to see him again. He smiled, looking up at him in admiration with his ceil blue scrubs. Frank looks good today, despite looking like he works in a hospital full of sick and dying people. In fact, he looks really damn good...and Gerard just couldn’t help shaking it off. “Excuse me--” he coughed up falsely, hoping to God that he’s not blushing in front of Frank.

“Do you need a drink?”

Frank went to grab a water bottle nearby and opened up the top for Gerard. He pulled a straw out of his shirt pocket and placed it inside just for him.

“Thank you,” Gerard said, graciously accepting the water and taking a sip. 

“Of course,” Frank replied, waiting til Gerard was finished, and then put the bottle down beside him for next time. “So, Gerard...do you have...like, a daily list?” 

“Well, not so much of a list as more of a daily routine. I do get lunch at around twelve, and dinner at five. After that, I have a bath every other day and get ready to retire for the night. I’m usually asleep by ten, if not sooner than that. I also do usually take a nap at around two-ish. Right now I just chill out and do whatever,” 

“I like that. Easy living,” Frank nodded, satisfied of the rather lax schedule Gerard goes by, compared to some other stubborn patients he’s worked with in the past. “So, Gee...you wanna show me around here? How about your room?” 

“It ain’t much, but sure,” Gerard nodded. “Wanna go out to the balcony there? It’s a gorgeous view,” Gerard said, still eyeing Frank in utter amazement. There’s something about him that just makes him feel different. He’s certainly felt it before around him during high school, and now it’s back twice as strong. Frank just looks so fucking good… 

“Your room has a balcony? That’s so cool!” Frank exclaimed, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. 

“Of course! Come on, Frank. Let’s go!” 

Gerard drove his chair on ahead of Frank, leading him to his spacious bedroom. He came up against a dead end when he got to the sliding door. He just couldn’t get his malfunctioning hands to open that stupid door! 

“Damn it!” he growled, already fed up with himself as he struggled to reach for the handle of the door. “I can’t--” 

“Here, let me, Frank reached out, opening up the door for his frustrated patient. “A gentleman always opens a door for a lady,” he said, smirking. 

“Well, thank you,” Gerard laughed a bit. They both entered the spacious ornate balcony, taking in the lovely view of the city below them, all the way down from the eighteenth-floor balcony they stood from. Frank wondered how in the hell Gerard and Mikey could possibly afford to live in a rich area like this. He knew they came from a wealthy family, but...damn... 

“Man, that’s a long way down…,” 

Frank leaned over the railing, spitting a loogie down the many stories of the tall building, hoping to god it doesn’t land on anyone unfortunate to land in its path. 

“Wow, like you’ve always been a gentleman, Frankie,” Gerard smirked, laughing a bit at Frank’s childishness. 

”Hey, I'm still that punk-ass kid from high school...just a little better and reigning it in, that's all,” 

Frank couldn't help but shiver at the sudden windchill. It was too cold for a spring day, but then again, it is early in the season.

Wait a minute. Speaking of spring…

”Hey, Gee. Your birthday is next month,”

"I know...gonna be twenty-four...," Gerard sighed, remembering just what happened to him in the spring of almost four years ago when he was in the doctor's office. "Which means I might have another year or so to live...,"

Frank didn't want to think about that. No one deserved a life cut down that short.  
"Yeah, well that's one more year to drive Mikey and I crazy and who knows after that right?"

"That's true. I'm surprised I'm still able to run my mouth to drive you guys crazy, but...I don't think it's gonna stay like that much longer. Soon I won't be able to have conversations like this with you, Frank...,"  
Gerard sighed deeply, trying his damnedest to not let his woefulness and fear get the best of him. "Soon I won't be able to eat at all, or even try to help you out when it comes to taking care of my dying ass...,"

"Why don't we worry about that when we get there huh?" Frank smiled. His hand was itching for a cigarette.

"I guess so. At least I can still function enough to annoy the ever loving shit outta you guys,"

"That's right, and we can annoy you right back." Frank laughed, moving to the door. "How about we get you dressed now?"

”Sure. I would like to get outta these jammies, now that you mention it,"

"You still call them that huh?" Frank giggled again, pushing the nicotine fit down. He stepped over the threshold and bowed."M'lady."

“Oh, Frank,” Gerard laughed, remembering how much he made him do so during the good old days. Frank watched as Gerard drove himself back into the room to get dressed.  
"So what would you like to wear today?” Frank asked, browsing through Gerard’s closet. “It’s a little chilly, but not bad,”

"Maybe a t-shirt and jeans, with my leather jacket and scarf. How's that?"

"Sexy as hell," Frank winked at Gerard and chuckled as he blushed. "Come on stud muffin, let's see that gorgeous ass of yours,”  
Frank went to help Gerard out of the chair back onto the bed. He was suddenly really happy that this was his first assignment...  
  


_ _ _  
"So Gee...I know this may be awkward and I can read it in the file, but would you tell me how you found out about your condition?" Frank asked in the midst of his and Gerard's silence. They were relaxing in the living room watching one of the mindless Lifetime movies that came on for bored housewives, which nowadays was pretty men too.

"Well...," Gerard paused to give himself a moment before losing it. He knew he had to keep himself together around Frank. "I was in my first year at Drew University. It only started out as me losing my balance a lot and tripping over, then it got to the point where I couldn't even button up my shirt. So I went to a doctor and they did a bunch of tests on me....and they told me I had ALS, and that I'd have about five years to live, so I'd be dead by...twenty-five. Soon it got to the point where I couldn't hold my pencils or paintbrushes right, so I had to drop out...because I wanted to be an artist, but I couldn’t take care of myself anymore. I had no choice,”

"That's terrible Gee. I can't even imagine it because you loved art. It was your life,” Frank frowned, putting a comforting hand on Gerard's shoulder. He knew it was true that something as simple as being an artist was his old best friend’s dream. He knew it was his whole life, seeing a younger Gerard drawing in his sketch pad.

"I know it was...," Gerard went silent for a moment, looking at the walls of his art from his better days. He tried his damnedest to hold back tears. He knew he couldn't cry…

"Did you...I mean, there are specialists that can help and--”  
"No, Frank. He just decided to give up,”  
Frank looked up and saw Mikey walk in. He put his coat down, as well as the briefcase that Frank didn't notice this morning.  
"Hey Mikey, how was work?"  
"Still there, just lunch break. I usually share with Gee,”

"Hey, Mikey," Gerard smiled a bit, greeting his brother home. Mikey nodded to Gerard, clearly still angry at him from this morning. He went into the kitchen and started preparing lunch. Frank felt awkward. He could feel the tension in the house. He stood up.  
"Hey, I'm gonna go help Mikey,” he said. He walked over and laid a hand on Gerard's. "It's gonna be okay,”. Gerard smiled up at Frank. He was always one to make him smile, even in the darkest of times.  
"Thank you,"

"Anytime," Frank squeezed and then left the room. He walked into the kitchen and saw Mikey taking out his aggression on an onion. He saw the can of tuna fish waiting to be opened. He picked up one and then searched for a can opener.

”What's going on, Mikey?”

”Can't stand it, Frank. Sooner or later his negativity is gonna get on your last nerve, trust me,"

”I think he just needs a little motivation in the right direction. Someone to talk to who doesn't expect anything of him, just his words. It can be hard to find that...even among family and friends. Speaking of, where are his friends?"

"I've tried to give him that motivation, but he just won't budge. You, me, and Ray are all he's got in terms of friends. You knew how he was in high school, right? Everyone picked on us, but...it was Gerard that got it the worst, I think. Everyone picked on him because he was...well, different. His depression never made anything better either,"

Frank found the can opener and popped the tuna open. he started to drain the cane in the sink and wash the smell and residue away down the drain with the running water.  
"Yeah, but by senior year he was coming into his own with going to the university. He was better and the medication was helping and he was opening up more. I guess I figured that he had made friends there...I mean, he pretty much forgot about me after that."  
Frank wasn't bitter. He wasn’t mad at Gerard for forgetting about him after high school. He knew Gerard had a lot going for him at the university. Besides, Frank also knew he was no one special, just a loser punk kid, and CNA.

"I know he was excited about university. He really, really was. You saw how he was when he got that acceptance letter from Drew University, but...deep down the depression was eating at him alive. You know he's been one to hide his feelings well," Mikey sighed, finishing up on dicing the onions. "And I highly doubt he even made one friend over at the university. He wasn't even that close to his dorm roommate. Gerard told me that he was always too scared to talk to others because of how everyone treated him in high school. Also, when the ALS started to get worse...a lot of people laughed and made fun of him, which I guess pushed him over the edge when he dropped out,"

"I would have punched them in their fucking mouths!" Frank growled, and then realized what he said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"No, I would’ve done the same, Frank," Mikey chuckled dryly. "I love my brother to death, and I want the best care for him, but...he's become too much for me. That's part of the reason why we need more help from a caregiver. Even mom and Gerard’s doctor said that he needs one. He's been declining...fast,"

"You know, I have a few friends that are doing research in this field. They might be able to give me some information. I can contact them tomorrow,” Frank said, remembering a few science nut friends he made in biology class from high school. Maybe, hopefully, they could help…

"What did they find?"

"There is a device that patients can work with their thoughts or something like that so that they can write and draw. Gerard could really benefit from that I bet,”

"Really? I never knew that!" Mikey's eyes brightened up. "I know Gerard can be a cynical son of a gun, but...I think he'll be happy to hear about that,"

”Let's surprise him for his birthday,” Frank suggested, the idea already sounding brilliant in his mind.

”Yeah! How much is this stuff? I can imagine it's expensive...,"

"Let me get your insurance information. I am sure that we can figure something out,”

”Sounds great. Thanks, Frank,"

"Sure,”  
Frank finished mixing the tuna and added the onions that Mikey chopped up with the mayo. Then Mikey cut slices of tomato and crisp lettuce and Frank made a bowl with them for Gerard and sandwiches for them. He grabbed a bag of low salt veggie chips and headed back to the living room.

”Here we are, Gee. Lunch is ready”

"Oh, thank you," Gerard said, turning his chair around to see what is yet to be served for lunch. “Looks good,”

“Here, I can help you,” Frank said. He sat next to Gerard and pulled up the little tray on the side of the wheelchair. He placed Gerard’s plate in front of him. "Or would you like to try first?"

"Let me try," Gerard said immediately, picking up the fork, just to have it fall from his hands again and again as he struggled to hold the damn thing in his shaking hands. He sighed, clearly not far off at all from looking embarrassed.

"I got it, Gee, we can try again next time." Frank picked up the fork and lifted some tuna to Gerard's mouth. Gerard took a bite, chewing the contents. He swallowed, just to have the contents of half-digested food lodge down the wrong pipe, making him cough it back up all over himself.  
"I...I'm sorry," Gerard huffed, ready to give up and just starve...again.

"It's alright Gee, it happens,”

Frank went and got a cloth to clean up the mess. He came back with one, wiping up the mess off Gerard's shirt and mouth.

"Thank you," Gerard said, smiling up at him despite the sorrow in his eyes. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess. You deserve better,"

"Stop that. I don't mind taking care of you. In fact, I was really happy to find out that it was you,”

"Really? Well...I'm happy you're my caregiver, but I hate to be such a burden...,"

Frank lifted Gerard's head as he continued to wipe off his face, smiling warmly at him.  
"You are not a burden to me Gerard. You have never been and you never will be,”

"Are you sure?" Gerard blushed, Frankie's touch against him nice and tender. There's a sort of comfort Gerard gets when he's this close to him...and he loves it. Of course, he can't tell that to his caregiver. He's probably already got a cute girlfriend that's very lucky to have Frank.

Frank moved his hand to Gerard's cheek and caressed it softly.  
"I promise,” he whispered.  
"If you two would like to be alone…,"  
Frank forgot that Mikey was in the room. He stood up, quickly banging his knee against Gerard's tray and falling backward, flailing and landing flat on his face.

"Frank! Are you okay?" Gerard exclaimed, wishing he could just run over and scoop the poor fallen Frankie up in his arms.

"Yeah, just really, really embarrassed right now," Frank stood up and saw that he upset his and Gerard's lunch. "I'll clean this up and go make more,"  
"I got it Frank, you just go get yourself cleaned up,” Mikey said, kneeling down to clean up the spilled plate on the floor. Frank nodded and left the room. He was going to have to be more careful and remember that this is a professional relationship and learn to maintain his distance better and be more informal.  
"Frank, get a fucking grip,” he cursed under his breath. He headed into Gerard's room to find a new shirt and to take in a much-needed cigarette. It’s not gonna be a walk through the park taking care of Gerard, and he knew that damn well.


	3. So Close I Can Taste It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains strong sexual content some readers may find upsetting. Read at your own risk.

Frank and Gerard sat outside together, taking in the city and early sunset from beyond the eighteenth-floor balcony they sit at. As Gerard sat in his wheelchair beside a still Frank, he smiled, knowing that this man with humble hazel eyes and probably the most gorgeous face ever will continue to care for him with grace, unlike how Marco treated him all those previous dreadful months. He knew that Frank was more than just his caregiver, though. He was his friend...and Frank knew how to keep up his professionalism.

“Hey, Frank...how long has it been?” Gerard suddenly asked the silent Frank. Time itself seemed to have been lost all these weeks or months. He knew the seasons have been transitioning from spring to summer, but he couldn’t remember how long he’s been blessed with Frank’s reassuring presence. “How long have you been my caregiver? Two months now?”

“Yeah...time flies, huh?”

Frank wanted a cigarette so badly. Being out on the balcony was killing him, but Gerard...no, his patient liked it. He had to accommodate his patient to keep them happy and in good health and spirits. Outwardly Frank has been the perfect professional, but inside he was a mess. The cold his grandmother Rosalie picked up in early April had not gone away, and it was bothering Frank. He knew from experience that a simple cold in one that is younger is nothing, but in someone in their senior years, it can lead to many problems. On top of that, the bitch that abandoned him and his father had the nerve to contact him. She wants to talk to him about something. Frank could give two shits, but his grandmother encouraged him to set up a meeting.

_ “She’s the only family you have now, bambino…,” Rosalie said weakly, her voice hoarse from the many coughing fits she’s had as she laid in her bed, looking so sick and vulnerable. _

_ “I have you, grandma…,” Frank pouted, refusing to believe that his grandma is close to death’s door. He couldn’t lose her. She was all she had. His mom could rot, for all he cared. _

_ “I am old and will be gone soon. You need to mend your bridges before it is too late…,” _

After that, she fell into a coughing fit and Frank knew he couldn't say no. In a week he was going to have to face a woman that he had not seen in over three years. He didn’t even want to think of it. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear his patient speaking.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Frank asked, turning to a bewildered Gerard.

“Are you okay, Frank? You look like something’s on your mind,”

“Oh, umm…,” Frank paused. He knew he couldn’t tell the truth in front of his patient. He had to maintain that damn professionalism and not let him pry into personal territory, after all. “I was thinking that maybe I could order a pizza for you tonight before I left,”

“Sure! That sounds great, but...sure you’re okay?” Gerard asked, knowing in those discontented eyes of Frank’s that something’s wrong.

“Yeah, that’s it. I’m fine….Hey, it’s getting cold, we should get you inside,” Frank said, knowing that changing the subject is the best thing to do right now in this awkward situation.

“You’re right. I’m freezing!” Gerard shivered, now just realizing how nippy it really was outside. Maybe Frank was not looking well because he was cold. He knew he didn’t wanna be a burden to his kind caregiver.

“So, let’s get inside and get a sweater on you and I’ll put on a movie while we wait for pizza,”

“Okay, Frankie. What movie should we put on? What do you like on your pizza?” Gerard asked, wheeling himself inside his bedroom, waiting for Frank to put a warm sweater on him.

“Oh, I’m not gonna eat. My lunch isn’t sitting well,” Frank replied, finding a fluffy blue one that would work. It amazed him that even though it was May, it was still cold at night. “Here we go,”

“Thank you, Frank. You’re too kind,” Gerard smiled up at Frank as he put the sweater on him. “You know, you’re not just a good caregiver...you’re a good friend. You really look out for everyone, including me,”

"That is kind of you to say,” Frank pulled out his phone and started to order the pizza. He knew what Gerard liked on his, but maybe it was less professional to assume. "So do you want anything special on the pizza?"

"Just veggies,"

Frank typed that part in feeling good that he asked cause Gerard used to get sausage too. He sent the order off as they made it to the living room.

"Wanna watch a comedy?"

"Sure. You pick," Gerard grinned, feeling the need to give Frank more freedom as the caregiver. After all, you need a happy caregiver to have a happy patient, right?

"Alright, how about...this one?" Frank held up Young Frankenstein just as his phone began to ring. He put the DVD in and then excused himself to answer, walking into Gerard’s bedroom and shutting the door.

"What do you want? I'm working!"   
Frank yelled suddenly, despite trying to keep his voice down. Why his mother is calling him? He has no idea. "What? NO, NO I WILL NOT!"

"Frank? Are you okay?" Gerard called out, already worried.

"Yes, I am fine,” Frank replied, lying. He needs to end this call before his patient comes to investigate. He pressed his phone back against his ear, itching to end the not-so-great phone call with the other person on the line. "I have to go. No, I said no!”

"Frank?" Gerard wheeled into the room where Frank stood, looking up at him with concern. He had to make sure his caregiver was okay.

Frank had it now, his anxiety was through the roof now!

"LOOK YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT BITCH, YOU FUCKING LEFT US AND NOW YOU THINK YOU CAN WALTZ BACK INTO MY LIFE WHEN HE IS DEAD WITH YOUR MAN WHORE AND I'LL FORGIVE YOU?! FUCK YOU!" Frank threw his phone against the wall and screamed, the phone shattering to many unfixable pieces.

Gerard gasped. He couldn't believe what was happening. His own caretaker was losing it, his own friend! It was like high school all over again, when Frank succumbed to his own anxiety. He stood there, barely knowing what to even say.

"Frank...,"

Frank froze, he turned around and saw Gerard there. He saw his broken phone. He had lost it completely. He lost his professionalism.

"Hey guys, I gotta get off early and..."

Frank ran past Gerard practically knocking Mikey over as he tore out of the apartment. He bypassed the elevator and flew down the stairs to the parking garage. He grabbed his motorcycle and gunned it leaving a track of rubber as he sped out into the evening. Mikey ran to the window just in time to hear the screech and see him go. He turned to Gerard.

"What happened?"

"I dunno, Mikey...," Gerard shook his head, staring down at Frank's shattered phone. "He got a phone call from someone, and...he sounded really angry. Whoever he was talking to...I guess he wasn't happy with them. I come in the room and he was like a deer in the headlights,"

"I should call him and make sure he is alright,” Mikey said, pulling out his phone.

"I think you should give him some time to calm down, Mikey. He was very upset...it was almost scary how angry he looked,"

"True, plus he is on a motorcycle and under his helmet has built-in GPS..." Mikey walked up to his brother. "Are you alright?"

"No...not if he's not alright," Gerard sighed. "I think I stressed him out. I'm a burden to him,"

"If he was on the phone when he lost it, it could not have been about you, Gee. I'll just..." Mikey just noticed the smashed phone. "Well, I guess I can't call him. I will call the agency and..."

"And what?"

"Uh...oh, right, Frank would get in trouble,” Mikey shrugged. “Well, we can talk to him tomorrow,"

Across the hall in the living room, the intercom went off. Mikey turned back to Gerard, wondering who’s at the door. It’s not like they get that much company anyhow, other than caregivers from the agency.

"You expecting someone Gee?"

"Huh? No, I wasn't. Who is it?"

Mikey crossed to the intercom, pressing down the button to speak.

"Can I help you?"

"Pizza delivery," a distinct and impatient young male voice spoke...one that sounded like he was in a hurry, or he just really hated his job.

"Oh, right...Frank ordered me pizza earlier," Gerard spoke up, remembering what the hell the pizza guy is here at their apartment for.

"Oh, okay, yeah come on up,” Mikey said in the intercom. He pulled out money to pay for the pizza, then he and Gerard were going to sit down and figure this all out. They would plan what to say to Frank tomorrow together.   
  
_ _ _

"Sure, no, we understand. Yeah, we have someone else. Thanks for calling," Mikey said, hanging up the phone after his call to the agency. He turned to a worried-looking Gerard who sat in his wheelchair beside him in the living room. "Frank is sick. They can't take a chance that you can catch it, so until he proves he is better with a doctor’s note clearing him, we have to have Marco pick up the hours again,"

Gerard frowned, feeling his stomach tie itself in knots. He knew he didn't wanna face Marco again. Not after what happened Saturday night.  
"But Mikey...I thought we got rid of Marco,"

"I thought so too, Gee...but I guess we have to wait a little longer,” Mikey sighed. He hated this idea. He had such an uneasy feeling, but he had to work and Gee couldn't be alone. "It will be alright, I'm sure Frank will be fine soon,"   
  
_ _ _

"Hello Michael, how is Gerard feeling today?"  
Mikey shuddered hearing Marco's oily voice, seeing that fake grin spread across his tanned face.  
"He is alright. A little melancholy, though," Mikey frowned at the memories from last night of Gerard constantly waking up in a cold sweat, panting frantically as he struggled to breathe right efforts of his C-PAP.

"Ah, well I am sure I can cheer him up." Marco smiled at Mikey, but it didn't make him feel reassured.  
"I have a morning meeting, but I am pretty sure I can join for lunch,"  
"Alright, but be sure to call if you can or can't make it so I know how much food to prepare,"  
"Yeah, okay. Well, he is still sleeping. He had some problems last night so let him sleep it off,"  
"Of course, of course. Have a good day, Michael,"  
"Bye," Mikey left and felt the chill in the hallway from the AC, but was it really the AC, or something more?  
After settling himself in the Way household, Marco got himself to work and prepared Gerard's breakfast, opening a pill bottle and slipping the numbing drug into the milk, the powdery material from the split pill blending right in.  
"It should be working by bath time." He whispered to himself. He licked his lips at the thought of what he was going to do. He picked up the tray and knocked on the bedroom door.

Gerard snoozed in bed, his C-PAP firmly planted over his face. He was exhausted from last night, constantly waking up from the recurring nightmare he had about Marco. He hoped he wouldn't come today. He just can't…

"Good morning Gerard. Come now, time to get up sweetie, I have your favorite cereal today for breakfast," Marco called out to the sleeping Gerard in his bed. He set the tray down and then walked over to the bed. He looked down at the sleeping man and smirked. He reached out and touched his leg at the knee running his hand up to his thigh. "Soon, but not yet. Not just yet…,"   
  


He went over to the balcony and opened the curtains as Gerard sleepily opened up his eyes, feeling a tingling sensation on his leg, like someone just touched him before moving away from him. It must've been just him, though. He found Marco standing by the window and gasped in horror in his mind. He already knew what kind of day it was gonna be today...and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"Well, nice to see that you are awake now,” Marco grinned, turning to Gerard. “So, your itinerary is breakfast, then bath, then getting dressed and then some PT if you are not too tired after your bath. Michael will be home to join us for lunch. Won't that be nice?"

"I...I guess so," Gerard said hesitantly, unsure why his schedule has been changed all of a sudden. Physical therapy comes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Today is Tuesday. Plus Gerard already had a bed bath last night.

"So, let's get you up and I'll feed you breakfast," Marco said, brushing off Gerard’s reluctance. He went around and sat on the edge of the bed, placing his hands on Gerard's hips and scooting him upwards. Gerard sat silently, wishing it would be Frank at his bedside instead of Marco. He looked down at the hand on his hip. Has he ever touched him like this before? It felt...off…

"There we go. Now let's get something in the cute tummy of yours." Marco patted it and then poured the milk over the flakes. He lifted the bowl and held it as he spooned some up. "Open wide,"

Gerard didn't feel right. There's something terribly off about Marco today...but he couldn't quite point it out. He’s being awfully nice today,much more than his usual cruel self. Maybe Marco was genuinely trying to be nicer to him than he was in the past and learned from his past experiences when he was...rough with him, he should say. Who knows? Gerard opened his mouth, waiting for Marco to feed him the cereal. He was pretty hungry, after all.

Marco watched the tainted cereal pass Gerard's lips. He knew he would only eat a few spoonfuls before begging off. Then it was bath time and after the fun would begin. Gerard gagged, unable to chew and swallow the contents in his mouth. The half-chewed cereal fell from his mouth and onto his shirt, leaving him shaking with embarrassment. He knew he's been having a hard time eating lately and that he is undoubtedly close to being hooked up to a feeding tube, and that scared the ever-loving shit outta him...but what scared him just as much was the man feeding him.

"I...I'm sorry-”

"Awww it's okay. Let's just drink the milk." Marco cooed. He placed a straw in the bowl and placed the straw to Gerard's lips. "Part them for me and I will slip it in,"

Gerard didn't drink the milk right away. There's a part of him deep down that tells him that something is very, very wrong...but what the hell is it? Is it the way Marco is acting? Is it the food Gerard's been served? Maybe he's just freaking out over nothing. He's never seen this side of Marco before. Maybe he really did learn from his past mistakes of mistreating Gerard. Brushing off his paranoia, Gerard opened his mouth and sipped the milk through the straw, the liquid filling up his stomach.

"There you go, good boy." Marco grinned. He kept feeding Gerard and waiting until the bowl was empty, with half-eaten cereal all over Gerard’s mouth and shirt, looking lower than a dog. "Now, let's get you cleaned up,"

Marco was careful not to do anything to alert Gerard. He wanted him to be completely comfortable so that he would have no problems taking advantage of him later. He made sure removing his clothing was very clinical, but with care. The initial washing up was treated the same. It was all according to plan. The entire time, Gerard sat still as Marco undressed and bathed him. He did not only because he was obviously supposed to be compliant with the caregiver, but also because something in him felt not quite right. His vision grew blurry a bit as he felt his whole body go numb. He felt...relaxed, to say the least. Maybe he was still too tired from yesterday and needed more sleep? But this isn't feeling tired...this is something else.

"Marco," Gerard said, barely able to keep eye contact with him, his vision unclear. "I feel...weird,"

"Michael did say that you had a rough night. Perhaps we will put off the PT and just have you rest more. Doesn't that sound better?"

"I suppose,"

"Alright." Marco left Gerard naked on the bed and went to get rid of the bathing items.

"Marco...I'm cold," Gerard shivered, wishing he could at least wrap his atrophying arms around his stiff and shaking body, but as of lately, even that has become impossible, his arms and legs lacking even a hint of life and movement in them.

"Shhh Gerard, I have you." Marco brought fresh blankets from the dryer and covered Gerard with them. The drug worked best with the heat of the body. "There, isn't that better?"

"Yeah...that's great," he smiled, not at all knowing that he's still bare-assed under the covers. Time itself seemed to have slowed down, as well as his whole world around him that had gone gray.

"I'm going to turn you on your side so I can put a blanket underneath you too,"

"Okay...,"

Marco reached under Gerard and slipped the wet towel out and replaced it with a warmed blanket. He then set two rolled ones to keep him on his side. Now that Gerard was warm all over the drug would take full effect. It was an opiate that would make him feel safe no matter what was happening, like a pleasant dream.  
"How are you feeling, Gerard?"

"I feel...relaxed," he sighed, smiling warmly to himself. He felt so fucking good...that it was scary.

"Good. I think I will join you in your nap." Marco stripped off his clothing except for his boxers and climbed into the bed behind Gerard. "Hope you don't mind I am a cuddler. Still, the blankets are warm and big enough to share right?"

"Right...Frankie," Gerard grinned. He could feel his arms wrapped around him, his embrace warm and loving. It's like he's really there. Marco could care less that Gerard thought he was Frank the other caretaker. They apparently knew each other back when Gerard wasn't a cripple. Maybe he could use that to his advantage.

"You like when Frank holds you, huh?" Marco pushed his body against Gerard's and wrapped his arms around him. He leaned his mouth against Gerard's ear. "Like this?"

"Yes...I do. Just like that,"

"I bet you like when he runs his hand along your chest too," Marco whispered as he started to caress Gerard's chest lightly just brushing over his nipples.

"Oh...oh, yes," Gerard shivered, despite being warm under the many layers if blankets Marco provided him with. "Yes, Frank...I do,"

Marco started to kiss his neck as he pressed himself closer. His hard on was evident. He wanted to feel more. As he slipped his hand down to grasp Gerard's cock, he freed his own and slipped it into the folds of his ass.

"Frankie, oh god...Frankie!" Gerard groaned, feeling something he's never felt before in his entire life. Whatever it was...it felt great. Marco started to jerk Gerard off as he sucked and licked his neck and rutted against his ass.  
"I can't wait to fuck you. Bet your ass is nice and tight too. I'll take good care of you too,” He panted his promises into Gerard's ear.

"I'd love that," Gerard moaned, wanting more. "You know something? I'm a virgin. I've never fucked anyone or been fucked...and that's one thing I wanna do before I eventually die. I always thought I was gonna die a lonely virgin because of the way I am, but...I think you proved me wrong. Thank you, Frankie...,"

"Oh, do not worry. You will not be a virgin when you die, I will make sure of that, but not today though my dear. Today I am going to jerk you off and you are going to clean my fingers with your tongue." Marco turned the patient's head towards him and kissed him as he rubbed his cock faster and faster between his cheeks. He started to do long strokes to Gerard's cock rubbing the head. "Next time I'll go down on you. You'd like that wouldn't you?" He knew he could use Gerard's mouth because of the gag reflex, but he liked sucking cock just as much.

"Woah...moving a little fast, are we--ahh!" Gerard gasped, his heart in his chest beating rapidly as sweat ran down his paralyzed body. He didn't just feel dizzy now...he was in a hazy ecstasy.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, cum with me, Gee." Marco panted. He knew using the other's nickname for him would cement his belief and help with his alibi later on.

"Oh god, Frankie...I'm gonna cum too...I-I’m gonna...oh no...," Gerard cried. He came, the jizz pouring onto Marco's hand wrapped around his dick. Marco continued to jerk him and then lifted his hand pushing his fingers carefully to Gerard's lips. he didn't need to insight the gag reflex.  
"Now lick them clean like a good boy,"

Gerard did just that, slurping up the cum off Marco's cock, his body still so relaxed despite all it's been through. That was enough to make Marco cum painting the man's ass with his own cum. He groaned at the feeling of the warm and wet liquid and he continued to push his cock through it working through his orgasm.

Gerard screamed, his head arched back, his mouth shaped in an O as his body begged for more of the false Frank. Marco ran his fingers through his own cum and had Gerard clean that up too. he knew that the patient would fall asleep now. He carefully cleaned up behind him and replaced the towel from before. He then got rid of all the blankets and washed them. He dressed Gerard again but made sure the front of his clothing was stained with his own cum. he made sure it was in and on the catheter before replacing it.  
"Poor Gee, having wet dreams at your age. Don’t worry, though, all your wet dreams will be coming true soon...just not with who you wanted them to,”

Gerard smiled in his sleep, his body sprawled on the hospital bed under the sheets. Whatever the hell that was...he fucking enjoyed, seeing Frank's face over his smiling down at him.

  
_ _ _  
"Gee? Gee, come on, get up. Marco has to clean you up,"

"Mmmm...Mikey?" Gerard groaned, turning his head to the side in his panda pillow. "I'm too tired,"

"I know Gee, but you have to get up. You messed up your catheter."

"Huh? I did--Ow!" Gerard winced, just noticing the radiating and throbbing pain in his penis. Unable to move his arms or legs from the progression of the disease, he just sat there face-up in his bed in pain. "What happened? How did I do that? Holy shit...that fucking hurts!"

"Marco said he heard noises in here and went to check. He said you were squirming on the bed and...uh...you said Frank's name,"

"I...I did?" Gerard looked down and examined his shirt and cock, the both of them covered in cum stains. That's when his face turned red with embarrassment. "Oh, god...I'm sorry,"

"It's perfectly normal at your age Gerard, although I was surprised at you admission and Mr. Iero. He is your caretaker, after all," Marco said. He came in and began to clean Gerard up with his brother looking on.

"Frank?" Gerard blushed profusely at the sound of his name. Everything that happened to him was nothing more than a blur. He couldn't believe he let his intimate thoughts of Frank get the best of him. He couldn't let the others know how he really felt about Frank. He was supposed to be his caretaker, after all.

"I have to clean the catheter and replace the tube,” Marco said, standing by Gerard's bedside to prepare for the procedure.

"Okay then...," Gerard shuddered, immediately feeling uncomfortable at the idea of Marco being in contact with Gerard's manhood. He had to do it, though. It was part of his job. Marco made sure to do the task with perfection so that he betrayed nothing. He made it completely clinical. 

“Now, Michael can help you get dressed, and I will continue preparing lunch,” Marco left the room, knowing that his idea had worked and that there would be much more of this kind of fun to come. He could not wait. 


	4. More Than You Bargained For

_"Let's go, up!"_  
Frank jumped when he heard his grandmother’s voice boom throughout the bedroom. He jolted out of bed, feeling his heart skip a beat.  
"Grandma?"  
"Come on, you have been moping in bed for weeks now,”  
"I don't feel good, and…,” Frank sighed, knowing that he couldn’t possibly return to the Way residence to take care of Gerard; not after what happened that one day. “I can’t, grandma,”  
"Bullshit. You can't fool an old fool. You need to talk to me,"  
Frank sighed again deeply. He wasn't getting out of this one. He climbed out of bed and followed the older woman to the kitchen. He had to tell her what happened when his mother called. He needs to tell her everything, how he lost his temper, as well as his professionalism that was vital for the job. He did just that when he got himself dressed and into the kitchen, sitting with Rosalie at the table with coffee in their hands.

  
  
"So...that's it?" Rosalie asked, who had listened carefully the whole time.  
"Yeah, I need to keep my friendship and personal feelings aside when I am there, and I can't, so...I think I need to take another assignment," Frank said, feeling his heart sink at the thought of taking care of a complete stranger instead of his friend.  
"I think you are being very silly, bambino. Have you tried to talk about it?"  
"No, and I don’t plan on it,” Frank shook his head, already annoyed with his grandma’s well-known stubbornness. “They will hire someone else and it will be alright,"  
Rosalie looked at him and hated it. Her own grandson was a quitter and they both knew it.  
"Excuse me,” Frank got up to use the bathroom and hide from her glare. When he returned, she was looking at his phone against his wishes, which made him gasp a little.  
"You have strange pictures on here," Rosalie said, eyeing the many photos taken on the phone in bewilderment, from selfies to photos with people she knew she’d rather not know.  
"Uh...yeah, I guess," Frank replied reluctantly.  
"Well, how about I make a cake and coffee, and we talk some more?"  
"But grandma…,” Frank knew that cake and coffee only came out when there was a guest coming over. Still, he indulged her. "Alright, let me know when it is done. I am going to shower."  
"Good idea, bambino." Rosalie kissed his cheek and then he left. Yeah, a shower would make him feel better.  
  


_ _ _  
Mikey took a breath as he rang the doorbell. He didn't know what to expect when Frank's grandmother invited him over to talk. He was already feeling chills run down his spine.

"Well hello, Rosalie smiled, opening the door for her guest. I remember you from when my grandson was younger. Please, come in…,” She stopped, falling into one of her many coughing fits that surely wouldn’t be the last one for the day.

"You alright, ma'am?" Mikey furrowed his brow in concern, seeing the frail old lady that clearly has seen better days in better health.

"What's this ma'am nonsense? Rosie is just fine. I've been a bit on the sick side since last month. Frankie has been fussing about it,” She shuffled in and had him take a seat in the kitchen. "Frankie is in the shower, would you like some coffee?"

"Yes, please,"

“Cream or sugar?” Rosalie asked, walking to the counter and pouring Mikey a cup.

"No, thank you. Just regular old black coffee, please,"

Rosalie handed Mikey the cup of steaming hot coffee. She then reached over for a hot pan of freshly baked coffee cake, slicing Mikey a piece of it.  
"This might still be a bit hot, it is fresh out of the oven," she said, handing the desert to her guest.

"Oh, thank you," Mikey took the cake, setting it beside his coffee for it to cool down a bit.

"Thank you for...coming on short notice,” Rosalie said hoarsely before coughing some more.

"Anytime. You sure you're okay?"

"Grandma, did you take your medicine?" Frank asked as he came around the corner, toweling off his hair. "You know what the doctor said about...Mikey?" He stopped, his eyes widening at the sight of the younger Way brother at the kitchen table.

"Frank," Mikey smiled a little. Frank looked at his grandmother. He sighed, he should have known better when she had his phone. She went through his contacts and called Mikey. He moved into the seat and she gave him his cake and coffee.  
"Well, I think I will go and lie down for a bit. You two have fun," Rosalie sang as she kissed Frank on the cheek, before retiring to her bedroom.

"Frank...how have you been?" Mikey asked, making sure to start off this conversation on a good note.

“Alright, just you know...getting over stuff,” Frank said reluctantly, shrugging his shoulders. He knew exactly why Mikey was here...and he really wanted no part of it at all.

“I see,” Mikey nodded. “I know it’s bad of me to pry into your personal business, but...we wanna know what happened that day you left,”

“Oh...I just…,”

Frank stopped. He didn’t know what to say. He had behaved completely unprofessional and inappropriate in front of his client. He crossed the line. He fucking blew it.

“Don’t worry, Frank. We’re not mad at you,” Mikey put a supporting hand on Frank’s shoulder, smiling a bit. “We just wanna know what happened, that’s all. Gerard said you took a phone call and you got mad, then you just lost it and broke your phone...am I right?”

“Yes, Mikey. You are,” Frank sighed woefully, cursing in his head. “It was improper behavior. I’m sure my replacement will not make that mistake as well--”

“Actually, Frank…,” Mikey cut him off, his eyes desperate. “We want you back. We miss you, and whatever happened...it’s okay,”

Frank’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t okay! He acted out of line in front of his own patient! He let his feelings get the best of him! There’s no way in hell Mikey should take him back. He doesn’t deserve to have someone care for Gerard that’s so unprofessional, so short-tempered, so lacking in proper work ethic!

“But Mikey...I was unprofessional, and--”

“You know what, Frank? Fuck professionalism,” Mikey rebutted, raising his voice a bit in annoyance at Frank’s stubbornness. “We. Need. You. Back. Now. We need you badly, especially Gerard. I’m scared for him, Frank. I’m scared for him because after you left, we had no choice but to up his other caregiver’s hours and...well, let’s just say I don’t trust him,”

Frank had only met Marco a handful of times, but from what he’s seen in him, he did get vibe from him...one that’s not very good.

“Well, has he, like...done anything inappropriate towards Gerard? You could report him, y’know?”

“What other choice do I have, Frank? If we fire him, who will take care of Gerard? Getting hooked up with another agency or caregiver takes ages, and knowing Gerard...he needs constant, round the clock care. I don’t like Marco at all, really. You treat Gerard with respect, and you go above and beyond with caring for him. Marco doesn’t do that at all. In fact, he’s far from that. He treats Gerard like a pig. He’s all we’ve got, but if we can rehire you...we can have you work for him more and fire Marco. I feel a lot more comfortable with you caring for Gerard. Please, Frank…,” Mikey paused, taking a deep breath as he grabbed Frank’s shoulder again, giving it a good squeeze. “Please come back. Do it for Gerard,”

Frank didn’t know what to do, or even what to say. He really loved working with Gerard, but...he failed him. Gerard deserves a better caregiver, right? One that’s better than someone like Frank...right?

“I don’t know...I mean, surely you can hire someone more competent than me from the agency, can’t you? They would... _ ow! _ ”

“ _ Stupido! _ ” Rosalie yelled. Frank rubbed his head where his grandmother hit it. “Just ignore his words. He’ll be there,”

“But grandma…,” Frank protested, before he suddenly ducked from another oncoming blow from Rosalie’s hand.

“Don’t argue with me, Frankie! I am old, but I can still kick your behind!”

“Please, Frank?” Mikey begged, looking like he’s close to giving Frank the puppy look with how desperate he looks to have him back to care for his sick older brother. Frank looked at him. How in the hell could he say no?

“Alright,” Frank nodded. “But I have to go through channels to get reassigned to Ger--”

“Thank you!” Mikey reached across the table and hugged Frank tightly, catching him by surprise. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Yes, well...I officially resigned so I have to be reassigned,” Frank grunted, being suffocated by Mikey’s tight embrace.

“Please do so asap, please?” Mikey let go of Frank. “He really, really misses you, Frank,”

“He...misses me?” Frank asked, his brow furrowed.

“Yes, Frank. He cries for you at night time. He’s been constantly asking me when you’re coming back,”

“Oh...I had no idea,” Frank sighed, wondering if it was really true that Gerard misses him dearly. Did someone really miss him that much? Did his old friend, and now sick quadriplegic, really long for Frank in his company that much...or was Mikey just bluffing?

“He needs you, Frank,” Mikey said as he reached across the table for Frank’s hand, taking it in both of his pleading ones. “Please…,”

“Needs me?” Frank repeated. He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea.

“Yes, Frank. I’m very scared for him...and something tells me he’s scared, too,”

Frank felt this warmth in his heart. He had never been needed before...wait…

“Just to clarify...are we talking on a professional level, or…,”

Fuck, why did he ask that? Of course it’s on a professional level. God, he’s a fucking idiot. He wanted to bang his head on the table. He started to back peddle.

“No, no, forget what I said, of course that’s what you mean, I was being silly, and…,”

“Well...yes, Frank. More than just on a professional level,” Mikey said, finishing up his cup of coffee. “You’re...you’re his best friend,”

“Oh, right…,” Frank nodded. “Best friend...of course,”

“So how long will it take the agency to get you hooked back up with us?”

“A few weeks, I think,”

“Oh...alright,” Mikey sighed, disappointed at the long wait time. He shook Frank’s hand anyway, welcoming him back. “Thanks again, Frank,”

“I, umm…,” Frank said suddenly, thinking what’s on his mind should be appropriate to bring up. “I can come by and say hi while we are waiting, I just can’t...do anything for him,”

“Frank...it’s okay,” Mikey smiled reassuringly. “Don’t beat yourself up so much. He’ll be so happy to see you again, you have no idea. However, you can stop by tomorrow, if you like. He’ll be happy to see you again,”

“Yeah, I can do that,”

“Thanks, Frank,” Mikey patted Frank on the shoulder. “I gotta go run some errands, so I think I should go. It was good seeing you again,”

“Same,” Frank nodded. “Oh, and Mikey...I missed you guys too,”

Mikey smiled as he stood up and made his way to the front door. He put his shoes and coat on, preparing to step out once again in the nippy cold.

“See you tomorrow, Frank,” he said as he opened up the front door and left.

“See what happens when your nosy Nonna gets involved?” Rosalie said suddenly, arising from the hallway leading to the kitchen. Frank smiled at her.

“Yes, Nonna...I do, and thank you,” Frank said as he looked at the clock. “I’ve got some phone calls to make to the agency, so I can be reassigned to Gerard,”

“You go do that, bambino. I am going to lie down for a bit,” Rosalie said as she yawned. Frank kissed her on the cheek and then left to call the Angels of Comfort homecare agency.

_ _ _

Marco has been enjoying himself indeed. It had been three weeks since he had first been able to have most of his way with the frail and ill man that is Gerard Way. He figured it was a good time to step it up again. He had gone from jerking him off to blowing him and getting off against his cock while laying on top of Gerard. He wanted to fuck him so badly though. It was a bit bothersome that Gerard was still thinking about his old caretaker, but fuck it if it got him what he wanted. He was going to do it today, but the patient’s meddling brother said they had appointments today and didn’t need him. Marco was patient, though. He could wait a little longer. It would be that much sweeter.

“That was fun, baby,” Marco smirked, zipping up his pants after being given fellatio from the patient sprawled and passed out on his bed. “I’m getting excited just thinking of all the wonderful things I could do to you...Gerard…,”

_ _ _

“So, Mikey...what’s this appointment for again?” Gerard asked, hesitant to leave the house and step into the outside world, where he knew he’d face a bunch of stares and laughs from strangers...and he hated it.

“Just some bloodwork. They wanna see if the new medication is working well with your nervous system,”

“B-bloodwork?” Gerard stuttered, his eyes wide. He knew what that meant, and he wanted no part of it. “B-but Mikey...that means...they’re gonna put needles in me!”

“I know, Gee,” Mikey sighed, putting a supporting hand on his brother’s shaking shoulder as he looked at him straight in the eye with reassurance. “But if the medicine is going more harm than good, I want to know. Maybe that’s why you are having those vivid dreams and...uh…,” he paused, awkward silence filling the room as he tried to figure out how to not sound too dirty and inappropriate explaining his brother’s strangely frequent wet dreams to him. . “...nocturnal admissions during the day...yeah, that’s it,”

“But Mikey,” Gerard protested. “I don’t have a problem with that. You are not dragging me to the doctor’s office!”

“Gerard, you are jerking off every day, three times a day! That’s not normal for you! I think that is a problem after not doing it for five years!” Mikey exclaimed, the aforementioned appropriate mannerisms thrown out the window. He was clearly too annoyed to even care anymore.

“But Mikey...how can I jerk off if I have no working arms?!” Gerard sneered mockingly, his eyes moving back and forth between his limp arms, then to Mikey, then back to his fraying and atrophied arms.

“I don’t know, but the evidence is there every day for Marco to have to clean up. That can’t be normal, so I just want to talk to the doctor about it,”

“Ugh...alright,” Gerard sighed, giving in. He did find it a bit strange that he was having all these wet dreams. He’s never had them this much, let alone over a specific person. In fact, that’s never happened to him, not even during his years spent in high school, being the awkward and anti-social art geek he was. It really was something to think about. Maybe Mikey was right. Something just isn’t right here…


	5. Clean Me Off, I'm So Dirty Babe

The Way brothers arrived at the hospital, and Mikey let Gerard cling to him. It’s common knowledge to Mikey that Gerard hates hospitals and needles, so none of this was good for him at all.

“Mikey...I’m scared,” Gerard stuttered, shaking helplessly as the nurse prepared the syringe to draw blood from her patient. Gerard turned to his younger brother, his eyes full of desperation. “Mikey, will you...hold my hand?”

“Of course, Gee,”

Mikey felt like the big brother as he listened to Gerard whimper as the nurse drew blood from his arm. He soothed him and promised him treats and coffee when this was over, since he had to fast for the tests. They had a bit of some time to spare till the test results came in, so Mikey took Gerard to the cafeteria for treat. After that, they both returned to the doctor’s office, where Dr. Trenton waited for them with the results.

“Mr. Way...and, Mr. Way,” he smiled, nodding to the patient and his younger brother. “Why don’t you tell me what has been going on in your home in the last three weeks since you started taking your new medication, Gerard?”

“Oh...well, uh…,” Gerard blushed, unsure how to politely say how he’s been having wet dreams over his former caregiver every night.

“Please, it is very important that we understand in order to explain our findings in your test results,”

“Well...I...I’ve been...kinda...been having strange things happen to me at night...and it involves...uh...it involves my sex drive,” Gerard finally spat out.

“And are you sexually active?” Dr. Trenton asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Well...I really can’t be,” Gerard shrugged, looking down his dysfunctional, wheelchair-bound body in discontent.

“So then how does your recent event pertain to your sex drive? Can you please elaborate?”

“Recent event? What do you mean?” Gerard asked.

“Whatever is happening to you at night, Mr. Way,”

“Nothing is. I just keep...having dreams of him…,” Gerard’s voice trailed off as he smiled thinking of Frankie.

“And area these dreams resulting in nocturnal emissions?”

“I...I guess so,” Gerard said reluctantly. “But it shouldn’t happen this often, should it? It’s never been this frequent for me before!”

“Well, actually,” Mikey chimed in. “It is not happening at night as much as in the daytime, Dr. Trenton,”

“Oh...is it?” Gerard asked, furrowing his brow.

“Yes, and several times Marco has found you and had to clean you up,” Mikey responded, shuddering the mentioning of Marco’s name.

“And who is this Marco, and what is his position in your home?” the doctor asked, writing down a series of notes in his clipboard as he listened to the patient and his brother.

“He’s one of my caregivers,” Gerard said.

“One of them, so you have another?”

“Well...I used to…,” Gerard frowned at the thought of his name, missing him dearly. “...and his name was Frank. Frank Iero,”

“So he has not been around then. When did you last have him in your service, Gerard?”

“I think it’s been...oh god...I can’t remember…,” Gerard sighed, frustrated with his forgetful memory.

“It’s been almost a month,” Mikey added, frustration in his voice. “Look, doc. I get that you need information, but what is with all these questions?”

Dr. Trenton sighed, flipping through some papers in his clipboard. He adjusted his glasses before preparing to speak again, as if he had been reluctant to do so.

“Michael, Gerard...do you know what Gamma Hydroxybutyrate is?”

“Gamma what?” Gerard furrowed his brow. Mikey, on the other hand, felt himself tighten up a bit. He wasn’t pleased to hear the name of that drug, clearly.

“GHB,” he said, turning to his brother. “It’s a date rape drug. It causes you to forget what is happening to you and it affects the central nervous system,”

“Correct, Mr. Way,” Dr. Trenton nodded. “We found this in your brother’s system, and we wager that it is not the first time we would have found it,”

Gerard felt his stomach churn. Marco...raped him? Violated him? How could he? He knew Marco wasn’t the best person to be around, but...rape? It just couldn’t be true…

“Wh-what?” Gerard stuttered, shaking. “You mean he...he…,”

“Dr. Trenton,” Mikey growled, clenching his fists tightly. “Are you saying that my brother was violated? Are you saying he was...sexually assaulted?”

“Well, we would need to do a test with a rape kit to find that out, but since that is very difficult to hide in men, we are assuming that he just did things manually and orally to Gerard,”

Gerard started to shake with anger and dismay, his skin turning a ghostly pale as he felt himself gag. So it was true. Marco really did violate him. He made him disgusting and filthy…

“I will fucking kill him!” Mikey jolted up from his seat, his whole body shaking with rage, his furious eyes wanting to see Marco’s severed head mounted on a wall at the hands of the younger Way brother for what he’s done to Gerard.

“Mr. Way, that is ill-advised,” Dr. Trenton frowned. “You need to have Marco arrested and get your brother another caretaker--”

“Are you fucking crazy?!” Mikey revolted. “Who the hell would I trust with my brother after that?”

“Mikey…,” Gerard gagged again. “I...I think I’m gonna be sick…,”

Mikey ran to Gerard’s side as he threw up all over his lap. Dr. Trenton called for a nurse, but Mikey growled at them. No one was touching his brother, and that’s final.

“No, I’ll help him,” he snarled.

“I...I’m sorry, Mikey,” Gerard said, hanging his head down in embarrassment as he started to cry looking down at the puke all over himself, his body shaking immensely. “I...I’m filthy…,”

“No, Gee. I’m sorry,” Mikey rebutted, warm tears leaking from his eyes as he held onto Gerard tightly in his arms, not at all caring about the puke he got on himself. “I left you with that rapist bastard for hours a day, thinking he was taking care of you, when he was really taking advantage of you. I’m the one that should be sorry, big brother….I failed you,”

“No…,” Gerard shook his head, his body now trembling violently. “No...no... NO!”

“Michael, if he does not calm down, we will have to sedate him,” Dr. Trenton said as a nurse came into the room, attempting to calm the distraught patient.

“It’s okay, sir,” she said, laying a soothing hand on Gerard’s shoulder. “Just calm down--”

“NO! NONONONONONONO!” Gerard screamed, hyperventilating as he clung on to his brother for his dear life, his body vulnerable and helpless in his wheelchair. “DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME! I’M FUCKING FILTHY!”

“You guys are scaring him! Get the fuck away!” Mikey yelled, pushing the nurse away. He turned and held Gerard’s face, wiping away his tears. “Gee, Gee….come on, calm down, big brother. It’s okay--”

“No it’s not, Mikey...no, it’s fucking not!” Gerard wailed, his voice loud and booming, disturbing other patients in their rooms…

* * *

Frank was in the hospital getting some bloodwork done in order to stay on top of his certification when he heard someone screaming, someone that sounded...familiar. He excused himself and moved down the hallway to see what was going on, his curiosity getting the best of him. He wondered if maybe, in some way, he could be helpful in calming whatever conflict was taking place down the hall…

“Gee, seriously,” Mikey pleaded, frustrated with his unstable brother. “I don’t want them to--”

“Excuse me?” Frank called out from behind the curtain covering Gerard’s room. “Can I be--,”

When Frank opened up the curtain, he saw Gerard with a terrified look on his face and Mikey on his knees beside him, trying to calm him down. Frank gasped and rushed over before any of the nurses or aides could stop him.

“Gee! Gee, it’s me, Frankie!” he said, coming to Gerard’s aid, kneeling down beside him. “Come on, Gee, focus! Look at me!”

“F-frankie?” Gerard stopped, his body still trembling as his eyes widened when he saw him. “F-frankie...is that you?”

“Yeah, Gee. It’s me. Come on, man. You gotta calm down, or they’re gonna sedate you, and I know how much you hate needles,”

“I...I can’t, Frankie,” Gerard shook his head. “I was...I was…,”

Gerard broke out into tears again, his sobs loud and violent. Frank held onto him and turned to Mikey, looking for some answers.

“Mikey, what’s going on?” he asked.

“Frank…,” Mikey said, looking just as distressed as his brother. “Marco has been giving Gerard GHB. He’s...he’s been...raped…multiple times,”

“What?!” Frank barked, feeling his heart stop dead in it’s tracks.

“Frankie…,” Gerard sobbed. “I’m filthy. I’m tainted, Frankie...I’m fucking dirty!”

“No you aren’t Gee,” Frank replied, still holding Gerard close to him. “You are not dirty, Gee. You are amazing. You’re…,” Frank stopped. What was he? He was more than just amazing to him. He was far more than just that in his eyes, despite what happened to him. “You’re beautiful to me, Gerard…,”

As Gerard continued to cry, Frank looked over to Mikey, his face raw with tears.

“I’m going to take over full-time. I don’t care, I will give up all my other charges. I am not seeing your brother get abused like this again, I swear,”

“Frank…,” Mikey sighed remorsefully.

“I’m filthy...SO FUCKING FILTHY!” Gerard screamed again, thrashing violently in his seat as he looked down his outstretched hands. “SO GODDAMN FILTHY, FRANKIE! SO FILTHY, SO FILTHY, SO FUCKING DIRTY AND FILTHY!”

“Gerard, stop it!” Mikey yelled, holding onto a hysterical and unstable Gerard. “Please, big brother, stop it! Stop--”

Gerard’s body went suddenly still, and Frank looked up to find a syringe in Gerard’s neck. One of the nurses snuck up behind him and injected him with a sedative, making Gerard’s body go limp in his chair.

“Frankie…,” Gerard moaned before passing out, his body still in Frank’s now shaking arms.

 

_ _ _

Frank looked around his new room in the apartment belonging to the Way brothers, nearly every inch of it taken up by boxes full of his belongings. His grandma Rosalie completely understood him wanting to do this. He left out the details of what happened to Gerard, but she was just as upset about it as well. Frank had not heard her cuss that much in years. He heard a knock at the door and turned around to find Mikey in the doorway.

“Hey, Mikey,” he smiled a bit, remorse in his voice.

“Frank,” Mikey replied, his face drained of all emotion and pale as snow from all he’s heard and seen happen to poor Gerard. Frank walked over and pulled him into a hug.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he said. “The doctor said that there was no damage to Gerard and that asshole Marco is gone. I’ll protect him, and you know that,”

“I don’t know, Frank…,” Mikey replied, his voice choked back by tears. “I honestly don't’ know if I can trust anyone anymore. Not after what that bastard did to my brother. I can’t afford to let him get hurt again,”

Frank sighed. He looked up at Mikey and cupped his cheek, wiping away the tears from the younger Way’s eyes.

“We will both look after him, okay?”

“I have to be there for him, Frank. I just need to, which means I will have to quit my job…,”

“Mikey...don’t be ridiculous,” Frank said sternly. “You are not going to quit your job. I will be here for Gerard during the day and we will both take care of him in the evening,”

Mikey sighed, taking in Frank’s words. He shook his head, trying his damndest to not lose himself to his own guilt and fear.

“Are you sure you really wanna do this, Frank? Gerard is a real mess…. He’s gotten so much worse. Are you sure you can handle him?”

“If I could handle him in high school, I can handle him now. For us at least nothing has changed. We will be who we always were,”

Mikey stayed silent for a while. He kept his eyes down, which were full of sorrow and discontent. After what seemed like an eternity, he looked back up, a sad and bittersweet smile on his face.

“Okay, Frank,” he said. Frank smiled and kissed Mikey on the cheek.

“Now, you get some sleep. I’ll clean up from dinner and check on Gerard,”

“Alright. Thanks, Frank,” Mikey said as he walked down the hall and retired to bed in his room.

Frank shut the light off in his room and went down to Gerard’s. He knocked on the door frame even though the door was open. He could see Gerard using a crude device to allow him to read. He smiled internally at what he got for Gerard’s birthday all those months ago.

“Hey Gee, how are you feeling? Did you want to eat more?”

Gerard didn’t say a word. He just shook his head, his empty and sullen eyes still on the device. Frank frowned. It had been a week since they got rid of Marco, and it’s also been that much time since Frank moved in. Gerard was clearly not that much better psychologically. Frank was more worried because Gerard refused therapy. Frank knew the damage that being violated could cause.

“Gee, talk to me, please?” Frank begged.

Gerard didn’t reply. It was like Frank wasn’t even there. He wished in the back of his mind he would just go away...but his lips refused to open to say it. Frank sighed, already getting frustrated with how stubborn and non-compliant Gerard is being.

“Fine, don’t talk to me. Don’t talk to anyone ever again,” he said, turning to leave.

“Wait!” Gerard called out suddenly. Frank stopped with his hand on the door knob. Gerard looked up at him, his tearful eyes now begging him to stay.

“P-please don’t leave…,” he said.

“Well...why don’t you tell me why I shouldn’t?”

“B-because...I need you, Frank. I’m...scared…,”

Frank turned around and saw the trembling man that was his best friend. His heart broke when he saw what he was reduced to.

“Gee…,” he whispered, quickly running over to the bed and upturning the device and pulled Gerard into a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I was a coward, that I wasn’t here to protect you. If I had not left, none of this would have happened to you. It’s all my fault…,”

“No, Frankie...it’s not your fault…,” Gerard sniffled, crying into his friend’s chest. “It’s my fault for letting it happen. It’s my fault for being so goddamn weak and helpless!”

“Stop that, Gee! That’s not true!” Frank protested. “Marco took advantage of your kind heart, and you know it!”

“I know...and I couldn’t stop him!”

“Silly man. That is what taking advantage means,” Frank looked at Gerard. He had tears down his face to match. “I want to protect you, Gee. I want to make sure no one ever takes advantage of you ever again,”

“Don’t cry, Frankie…,” Gerard whined, wishing he could reach up with his immobile arms and wipe away those tears on Frank’s face.

“I can’t help it, Gee. I care about you too much,”

“Oh, Frankie….I do too!” Gerard buried his face in Frank’s chest again and began to weep, his cries being the only thing filling the room, as well as his and Frank’s ears. Frank held onto him tightly, shaking as his uncontrollable tears continued to run from his eyes.

“I’m never leaving you again, Gerard. I swear, I’ll never leave you again. Remember that, Gee,”

“Please stay with me!” Gerard cried out.

“I will….I promise,”

Gerard continued to cling onto Frank like his whole fading life depended on it. He looked up at his caregiver with raw, tear-stained eyes.

“But Frankie...can you really stay with me when I’m a filthy mess?”

“I don’t see a mess, Gee. I see someone who just needs a little extra help in his life, and I am happy to give it,”

Gerard didn’t know what to say. He knows he’s loved by his family, especially Mikey, but with Frank...this is something different, and he loved how it felt. He smiled as he cried, his body begging Frank to not let ever let him go.

“Oh, Frankie…,” he whispered, curling up closer to his passionate caretaker and staying close for his dear life.

“I got you, Gee,” Frank smiled reassuringly, his arms wrapped tightly around his patient.

“Frankie...I’m scared,” Gerard shivered.

“Don’t be, baby. You never have to be scared when I’m here…,” Frank stopped, realizing what he just said, what he just called Gerard. “I-I mean...I just...never mind. We should sleep now, it’s late and--”

“Frankie....can you...stay with me?” Gerard suddenly asked, his eyes pleading. “I’m scared to sleep alone,”

“Sure, I’ll pull up a chair and--,”

“No,” Gerard shook his head. “I don’t know if there’s enough room in this bed, but...can you...oh, never mind,” he sighed. “Forget I said anything,”

Frank realized what Gerard was saying. He let go and started to clear the bed off. He then slipped out of his scrubs to his boxers and t-shirt. He moved around the bed and climbed in. Gerard gasped. He didn’t think Frank would actually do it, but when he did, he smiled warmly, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes yet again.

“Thank you…,”

“Anytime, Gee,” Frank smiled back, placing an arm over Gerard’s chest. Gerard shut his eyes for a little while, but it wasn’t long before they opened back up, looking back up at Frank with discontent. There was something eating at him...and he had to tell him.

“Gee? You alright?” Frank asked, his brow furrowed.

“Frank...you know why I asked you to sleep with me?”

“You can tell me if you want, but it doesn’t matter. I want to be there for you no matter what the reason,”

“Are you sure? You sure you won’t laugh?”

“I would never laugh at you, Gee,”

“Oh…,” Gerard frowned. “Well...whenever I’m alone and sleeping...I...I hear voiced laught at me and calling me names. It happens all the time,”

“I can assure you that none of them are me, and I will kick their asses when I find out who they are!” Frank smiled down at Gerard, reassuring him.

“I don’t know who they are, but...I always thought that if I have someone right by me...they’ll go away, because someone’s there to chase them away…,” Gerard smiled back, burying his head into Frank’s chest again, despite his struggling effort to wrap his immobile arms around him. “Thank you, Frankie…,”

“Anytime, Gerard,” Frank replied, pulling Gerard close...and that was when Gerard reached up and pressed his lips against Frank’s, kissing him. Frank was surprised, but not in a negative way. Instead, he cupped his hand on Gerard’s cheek and returned the favor.

“Mmmm…,” Gerard moaned.

He suddenly [paused, that horrid image of Marco in his head, holding him in a grasp as he had his evil way with him. Gerard gasped and pulled back, his eyes wide with horror as his body shook.

“D-don’t hurt me!” he stuttered. “Don’t…,”

Gerard stopped, realizing he was mistaken. It was not Marco lying next to him. It was still Frankie. Frank sighed, knowing in the back of his mind that this was gonna happen.

“Sorry, Gee...I...I like you, I really do, but it is too soon for this. I know you’re seeking comfort, but right now you are going to get scared and push me away, and I don’t want that,” Frank said as he got up out of the hospital bed and grabbed his clothing. “I’ll see you in the morning, Gee,” he smiled as he blew a kiss to Gerard and left.

Gerard cursed under his breath as he watched Frank leave him. He knew that what happened between himself and Marco would haunt him forever...but he never imagined it would be like this, where he found himself pushing away the man he loves and adores so much. He fucked up. The stupid memories of Marco violating him took over and fucked everything up. Gerard sighed as tears escaped his eyes, all alone and feeling like a failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I had a few readers asking me why this fic looks different from my usual ones and reads differently. As I stated in the first chapter, this is not my fic, so I am not editing it and putting it up...although I do add html to it. ^0^
> 
> I hope it is still enjoyable for everyone though as I am enjoying writing it! ^-^


	6. Betrayed For So Long

Frank was very careful around Gerard ever since what happened last night. He knew he had feelings for his friend, but he also knew that everything that happened to him would inhibit the both of them from moving forward. Gerard needed counseling,- and Frank knew just who to call. He walked up to Mikey and called out to him, who was watching some movie on the couch. He paused it to turn around and listen to him.

“Look, Mikey,” Frank said. “I have a friend who can help Gerard. He...well, no--she’s...she’s a counselor for rape victims. I think it would do Gee some good, and she’s willing to come to the house,”

“That’ll be good,” Mikey nodded in approval. “Gerard really needs help, especially now. He really doesn’t look good today, though. He wouldn’t even touch his breakfast,” he sighed apathetically.

“I’ll talk to her and set up an appointment. She’s a really sweet person,”

“That’s good. You wanna try to talk to Gerard about it?”

“I think you should, Mikes,” Frank said, getting up to clean the plates in the kitchen sink from lunch. “I’ll go call my friend now when I’m done here,”

“Alright, sounds good,” Mikey got up and walked down the hall to Gerard’s room. When Frank finished the dishes, he dialed his friend’s number.

“Hey Georgia, it’s Frank,”

“Hey, Frank. It’s been a while,” the feminine voice on the other line spoke.

“Listen, I’ve got a favor to ask,” Frank said. “I’ve got a client for you. It’s my patient I’m taking care of,”

“Oh, is it? Can I have the address? I’ll come see him. It’ll be good to reconnect with you,”

“It sure will. Our address is 290 Hickory Lane, apartment number 1823 at the Monroeville apartment complex. The zip code is 34699,”

“Alright, thanks. See you tomorrow, Frank,”

Frank hung up the phone. He knew that this was the right thing to do. If he ever wanted a relationship with any kind with Gerard, he had to get him to face the trauma of his rape.

 

_ _ _

“Hey Gee, are you getting to know the machine? I mean, thankfully you don’t need it yet, but it’s better to know how it will work,” Mikey asked, eyeing the expensive communication computer he and Frank bought for Gerard’s birthday, for when the time for him comes when he can no longer communicate verbally.

“Yeah...I know how it works,” Gerard nodded hesitantly, his eyes vacant and apathetic as he read. Mikey sighed deeply, torn apart seeing his brother so forlorn.

“Look Gee, I think you need to talk to someone about what happened. Frankie has a friend and he said that she will come to the house,”

Gerard shook his head. He hated the idea of a shrink coming to his apartment to sit there, take notes, and fill him up to the brim with medication. He already went through the same shit in high school with his struggle with depression, and no, he wanted no part of it.

“No, Mikey. I don’t need one,”

“Yes you do, Gee. Frank and I are both worried about you. Frank says you cry out in your sleep and cringe when him or I even touch your arm. You are not going to get any better until you talk about this,”

“N-no!” Gerard barked, shaking in his seat when his mind snapped back to the image of Marco touching his arm, brushing his hand against his skin. “I said I don’t fucking need one!”

“You’re being stubborn, Gerard,” Mikey stood up to leave. “Look, she is going to be here tomorrow and either you talk to her or waste all our time,”

“I’m not fucking talking to anyone and that’s final! Just leave me alone!” Gerard screamed.

“Gladly,” Mikey stormed out of the room, slamming the door. Frank was coming out of his room after making a phone call.

“I take that it didn’t go very well, huh?” he asked.

“Not at all,” Mikey sighed. “Gerard can have a bad temper, but...he’s gotten worse,”

“Well, Ryan...sorry, Georgia is going to be here tomorrow, so at least you can talk to her,”

“Will do,”

Frank just hoped that Gerard would change his mind when Ryan/Georgia got here. He went to the kitchen to decide on the menu for tomorrow when his friend arrived.

 

_ _ _

“I told you, I am not seeing a fucking psychiatrist!” Gerard screamed when Mikey woke him up to get him ready for his appointment.

“Then you will spend the fucking day in this room, because you are acting nothing like a grown man right now!” Mikey slammed the door to the bedroom. He saw Frank in the living room. “I’m sorry, Frank. Maybe this idea of mine was stupid,”

Frank looked down at the magazines on the coffee table. They could still hear Gerard screaming from the bedroom down the hall. Mikey sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“How about some music?” Frank asked, getting up and going to the stereo. He popped in a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD and a sweet bass line filled the room.

“Much better, Mikey laughed, the music drowning out Gerard’s screams.

“Georgia should be here soon,” Frank started to bustle about, cleaning the living room like a frantic housewife,”

“Here, let me help!” Mikey jolted to his feet, grabbing a nearby broom and sweeping the floor. The two of them worked til the doorbell rang. Frank went over to answer. A slender woman was standing there with soft facial features. She was dressed in a flowy dress and a sweet smile.

“Hey, Ryan...sorry, Georgia,” Frank said, correcting himself. The woman laughed.

“Frankie, it’s okay. I am still alright with you calling me that. It’s what you have known me as for a few years now,”

“Yeah, but I want to respect you too,”

“You are the only one I never had to worry about respecting me,” Georgia cupped Frank’s cheek and kissed it sweetly. Frank smiled and let her in the house.

“Hello there, I’m Mikey,” Mikey greeted, shaking the woman’s hand.

“Pleasure, I’m Georgia. You’re the younger brother of the patient, yes?”

“Yeah, I am,” Mikey sighed. “Gerard’s in his room being a big baby. He refused to get outta bed today,”

“Now Mikey, talking about him like that is not going to give him much motivation, is it?” Georgia took her coat off and put her things down. “If he is not ready to talk, then he will not, but I am still going to introduce myself politely,”

Frank knew this is how Ryan has always been. He admired that about her.

“Where is Gerard’s room?” Georgia asked. Frank showed her the way, but she declined him going with her. Georgia stopped at the door and knocked. There was no answer. She took a breath and then opened the door. “Gerard, may I come in? It’s Dr. Ross,”

“Go away,” Gerard groaned, his head turned away from the doctor as he tried his damndest to sleep.

“Very well, then. It was nice meeting you, Gerard,” Georgia closed the door and returned to the living room. “Well, that could have been worse,”

“That’s it?” Mikey furrowed his brow.

“I can’t force him to talk,” Georgia sat down. Frank brought over a tray of drinks. “Thanks, Frankie,” She kissed his cheek again.

“But you gotta! How else is he supposed to get better?” Mikey whined.

“Shhh, calm down,” Georgia laid a hand on Mikey’s knee. “He will talk, trust me. He won’t be able to help himself, but he has to want to do it,”

“I guess you’re right,” Mikey shook his head, knowing that Gerard’s recovery from what happened to him is gonna be long and gruelling. He cursed out Marco’s name in his mind, wishing nothing but the worst upon him for what he’s done to his poor older brother.

“So, why don’t you tell me your side of the story first?” Georgia asked.

“Well...do you know what happened to him?”

“No, because it was not Frankie’s jon to tell me. He just told me my services were possibly needed,”

“Oh...well, you see…,” Mikey started, already feeling himself shake at the thought of the horrible things Marco did to Gerard. “We had a caregiver for Gerard when Frank quit for a while, and...he did terrible things to him. He was...drugged and...r-raped, multiple times,”

“That must have been awful for your and Frank,” Georgia simply replied.

“Us?!” Frank chimed in, yelling. “Fuck, what about Gerard?!”

“Calm down, Frankie,” Georgia cut Frank off. “Gerard has a right to be upset, but he is also vulnerable, and could he have fought the guy off if he tried? I mean, it would not have continued after the first time, but it still would have happened. You two, however, could have stopped it anytime if you had the knowledge, but Frankie, you chose to leave and abandon your charge and Mikey has to work outside the home to support the two of them. Therefore, you two are the ones to blame the most,”

“If you were still a boy, Ryan...I would fucking clock you right now,” Frank growled.

“Wait, Frank,” Mikey reached over to Frank, holding him down before anything could have possibly gone down. “She has a point, y’know...it’s all our fault,”

“I did not say that. Rape is the fault of the person or people that designed the thought in the first place. What I am saying is that Gerard’s guilt is shared with all of you in different ways, and it would benefit him if you all talked about it,”

“So you want to serve all three of us? You never said that on the phone, Georgia,” Frank asked, his brow furrowed.

“And if I had…,”

“I would have told you to fuck off,”

“Exactly, Frankie. All three of you are covered under the insurance, so that is not a concern. I checked yesterday. The question is, do you want to do this? It would certainly be better for Gerard to see you being cooperative,”

Frank looked at Mikey longingly. He did want to do this for Gerard. Whatever it took to help his patient, he was willing to do.

“I am willing to do this for Gerard,”

“Me too. I want to help my big brother. I want him to live a happy life before…,” Mikey paused, not even wanting to think about the day where Gerard is only inches away from death’s door. “...before the end…,”

“Wonderful,” Georgia pulled out her ledger. “So Frank, you are here all the time, but I want to make sure your appointment does not interfere in taking care of your charge, so when does he usually nap?”

“After lunch mostly, like at around two-ish,” Frank replied.

“Great, so I will come on Wednesday at around two. Now Mikey, you work during the day, so I can come during the evening, but I would not want to interrupt dinner time,”

“That’s fine. We’re usually finished with dinner at around six,”

“Is seven too late?”

“No, seven should be fine. Gerard doesn’t go to bed til around ten or eleven, but no later than midnight,”

“I’m not too worried about his availability right now,” Georgia said, writing down some notes. “Well then, I will see you on Wednesday, Frankie,”

“Sure, Georgia. Sorry about the boy crack earlier,”

“Frankie, both I and Ryan could have taken you,” Georgia laughed.

“I thought you did,” Frank laughed as Georgia laughed.

“Thank you so much,” Mikey laughed with them both. “We really do appreciate your help. I apologize about my difficult brother,”

“Right...it’s no trouble,” Georgia picked up her stuff and headed to the door. Frank stood there with her coat. “Hey...that was not a dig. We had a fun and tried, right?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t your fault I was not…,”

“Stop, you are really happy now, and that’s what I want for you,” Georgia smiled and kissed Frank, but this time a soft peck on the lips. “See ya, Frankie. It was nice meeting you, Mikey,” She said, leaving. Mikey turned to Frank.

“Well, Frankie...I suppose we let Gerard cool off a bit? I can try to talk to him later,”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” the blush hadn’t left Frank’s face as he closed the door. “Wait...what?”

“We can’t just leave him in there all alone all day. We still gotta take care of him, y’know?” Mikey said, concern in his face.

“Oh, right...I would never do that to him, Mikey,” Frank replied reluctantly. He was kind of hurt that he was thought of like that. The sweet moment he had with Ryan/Georgia drained away. “I’m going to make Gerard’s lunch,”

“Here, let me help you,” Mikey offered.

“I’ve got it. After all, it’s my responsibility. That’s what I get paid to do, right?” Frank went into the kitchen.

“Still, I feel bad sitting around doing nothing while you do all the work. I’d do anything to help take care of Gee. He is my brother, after all,”

Frank didn’t answer. He just kept wondering why he was never good enough for anyone.

 

_ _ _

“Hey Gee, I have lunch for you. It’s pastina in chicken broth. It will warm you up a bit,” Frank said as he brought Gerard’s lunch tray over to his bedside table. Gerard sleepily opened up his eyes, the C-PAP firmly planted to his face, like always. He turned his head to Frank and sighed remorsefully. He felt like shit for the way he acted earlier. It was childish of him, and he knew better. He had to apologize.

“Frank…,” he said as Frank set the tray down and moved to take off the mask from Gerard.

“Feel better after a nap?” he asked.

“I guess so…,” Gerard’s voice trailed off. He really, really felt awful for the way he acted towards Frank and Mikey earlier. Here they were taking care of him and treating him like a king, and he’s acting like a self-loathing, explosive jerk the whole time. He didn’t deserve any of this. A single tear ran down his eye as he looked up at Frank in genuine guilt. Frank put the mask and machine away, making a note in his head to clean the mask after lunch. He grabbed the tray and sat down in his chair.

“Do you want me to feed you, or do you want to try it yourself, Gee?” he asked. Gerard looked down at his arms...or at least, what was left of them. He tried to command his arms to move, but they just won’t budge. Even his shaking hands are starting to give in, too. If only these arms, as well as his shiftless legs of his, were mobile enough to stop Marco, he thought…

“I...I can’t,” Gerard said hesitantly.

“It’s okay, Gee. That’s what I am here for,” Frank picked up the spoon and scooped some of the small pasta shapes up and blew on them lightly. “Open up, Gee,”

Gerard wasn’t honestly that hungry. He didn’t that much breakfast either, but his hunger had been the last thing he’d been worried about lately. But he’s gotta eat something. He can’t afford to piss off Frank and Mikey again, he thought. He’s already given them hell just for existing, after all. He opened up, just praying in the back of his mind that he’ll be able to keep his food down and not puke it back up like he’s always done. Frank managed to get about five spoonfuls into Gerard before he begged off. That was enough to make him smile. He took small sips of water and was able to hold it down. Frank was proud of him.

“How about I set up a movie in the living room? Or would you rather rest more and read in here?” Frank asked his patient.

Gerard had to get his ass outta bed. He’s gone too long without being changed or repositioned, and he knew that wouldn’t benefit him at all, or make Frank or Mikey happy. He honestly didn’t feel like doing shit today, but tough for him. He’s gotta make up for the way he acted earlier.

“I’ll get outta bed. I know Mikey wouldn’t be happy to see me in bed all day anyways,” he answered.

“Mikey knows you need your rest. And don’t worry about him. Worry about what you need. If you try and force yourself, you know it will be worse,” Frank said, softly running a hand through Gerard’s bangs.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, Gee. Whatever you need,”

“Okay, Frank,” Gerard smiled, relieved that he gets to sleep in some more, despite being in bed for more than twelve hours now. He didn’t want to be alone anymore, though. He was sick of the voices mocking and laughing at him maniacally, and he needed someone there to make them shut up already.

“Hey, Frank...can you...do me a favor?”

“Sure, Gee. Anything,”

“Can you...stay with me in here for a little while?”

“Sure, but I’m staying in the chair, because you freaked out last time I was in the bed,”

“That’s fine…,” Gerard’s voice trailed off. He wanted Frank right next to him, but he knew that that could risk the memories he he-knows-who to show up, and he fucking hated it. Frank doesn’t deserve to be associated with that scumbag in any way, shape, or form. Frank went and grabbed Gerard’s copy of The Outsiders by S.E Hinton and settled back in the chair.

“Do you want me to read to you?” Frank asked.

“I’d love that,” Gerard smiled. “But first...I think I need to be changed,”

“Of course, how careless of me,” Frank went to get the necessary items to take care of his patient’s personal needs. When he was done, they both settled back in. “Now, where were we last time I stopped?”

“Not sure,” Gerard shrugged.

“I’ll figure it out then,” Frank flipped through the book til he found a dog-eared page. “Here we are,” he cleared his throat and began reading.


	7. Something's On My Mind

“Hello, Frankie,” Georgia smiled when Frank came and opened up the door for her, letting her in.

“Hey Georgia, come on in. I was just cleaning up from lunch. Gerard is in his room,”

“Okay, would you like me to do this in the living room, or your room?”

“My room would be better, I can hear Gerard if he needs me,”

**“** Very well,” Georgia walked down the hall where Frank directed her. She waited for him to follow.

“I’m just gonna check on Gerard first. Hold on,” Frank excused himself, walking down the hall to check up on his patient. “Hey Gee, you still awake?”

“Yeah, why?” Gerard asked, looking up from a comic book he was reading on his device.

“I am going to be in my room if you need me. I have a guest,” Frank smiled at him. “Just knock on the wall, I’ll hear you,”

“I’ll yell for you. Don’t wanna hurt my head!” Gerard smiled back a bit.

“Alright, Gee,” Frank closed the door and headed back to his bedroom, where Georgia waited for him. “Sorry to keep you waiting,”

“It’s okay, come sit. Let’s talk, Frankie,”

*

*

*

Gerard woke up from his afternoon nap to hear a unison of laughter. It wasn’t coming from his head this time, thankfully. It was coming from the other room. It was Frank, and...a woman? It’s gotta be one...but who?

“Oh man, I remember that. You were covered in mud!” he heard Frank’s voice, talking to her.

“I was so pissed at you, I kicked you in the nuts!” the lady laughed lightheartedly.

“Yeah, and then you eased my pain,”

“Well, I was a gentlemen after all,”

“And good with your hands,”

Gentleman? Did this lady that Frank is talking to used to be a man? Regardless, Gerard was still worried. Had Frank been with someone the whole time? Maybe Frank really did have a cute and lucky girlfriend all along. He sighed deeply, knowing that he deserved someone far better than a useless cripple like him.

“Yes, but that was the past,” Georgia spoke.

“True, but we had fun,”

“We did, and I am very happy and proud of you, Frankie,”

“Thanks, Ryan,” Frank said, making Georgia giggle. “Fuck, I slipped again!”

“It’s okay, I know you mean well,”

Ryan? That’s not her name? What kind of name is Ryan...for a girl? Gerard furrowed his brow. Now he was confused. Seriously, who was Frank talking to over there? Whoever it is...must have a special place in his heart. Maybe not in a romantic way, but still deep…

“Well, our time is way up,” the lady that may or may not be named Ryan said.

“Yeah, sorry about that,”

“No, it’s fine. It was nice to reminisce a bit,”

“So same time next week?”

“Yeah, but I will see you Friday for Mikey,”

“Right, duh, you live here now,” Frank and Ryan laughed together.

Gerard thought to himself who that could be that Frank is talking to. That can’t be Frank’s girlfriend...or boyfriend? It just doesn’t seem right…

“Did you want to see Gerard before you leave?” Frank asked.

“Do you think he’s awake yet?”

Gerard sighed, knowing that he may have to meet this man or woman. At least he can figure out who Frank was talking to, but it’s not like he was in the mood to talk to any company anyway...besides Frankie, of course.

“That’s okay Frankie, I can wait til I see Mikey,”

“Alright, Georgia. Well, I’ll see you then,”

There was the sound of kissing near Gerard’s door and then voices leaving. Goddamnit. He was right. Frank does have a significant other and a very lucky one at that. Gerard frowned, knowing that Frank wouldn’t wanna be with some miserable sack of crippled shit like Gerard. He deserved better than that.

“Hey Gee, you up yet?” Frank asked, cracking Gerard’s door open a bit and peeking inside.

“Yes…,” he sighed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Frank asked, walking inside. He grabbed a chair and sat beside Gerard at his bed.

Fuck it. Gerard needs to ask. He needs to know. It shouldn’t hurt to ask, should it?

“Frank...do you have...a girlfriend?”

“What?” Frank laughed a bit. “Good lord, Gee. You know I’ve been gay since I was twelve. I came out to you first. Why would you ask that?”

“Oh...I’m sorry, I must’ve forgot all about that,” Gerard blushed, now feeling like an idiot for asking. He just remembered that day when his best friend came out to him, but it was lodged far back deep into his memory. How could he be so stupid? “I’m sorry, but if you’re still gay...then who was that...lady you were with?”

“Georgia? Georgia is the therapist. Both Mikey and I have...well I had, appointments with her. I wanted you to see her too,”

“Frank...we’ve been over this,” Gerard groaned, already annoyed. Frank and Mikey are just not gonna drop it, are they? “I’m not seeing anyone,”

“Alright, Gee. Have it your way,” Frank got up to leave. “I’m going to set you up for your bath,”

“I mean it, Frank!” Gerard raised his voice. “If I see any therapist or whatever in the house, I’m not gonna be fucking happy!”

“I said you don’t have to fucking talk to her already! Jesus Christ, Gee!” Frank slammed the door and left. Mikey poked his head up from some t.v show he was watching, hearing every word of the conflict that was taking place in Gerard’s bedroom. Something went wrong, clearly. He can hear it in their disgruntled voices.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pausing his show.

“Your brother’s just being an ass, as usual,” Frank went and sat on the sofa next to Mikey with a huff. “Anyway, I had my session with Georgia, and it went really well. She says she is looking forward to talking to you on Friday,”

“Me too. We really need to address Gerard’s stubbornness to her,” Mikey frowned. “I’m sick of seeing him so miserable! I just want him to be happy, you know?”

“We can’t force it on him. That was one of the things that we talked about,” Frank patted Mikey’s thigh. “You’ll understand better when you talk to her. Now I have to go give grumpy pants his bath,”

“Can I help?” Mikey asked.

“Sure, you want to gather the soap and shampoo while I get the water?”

“Sure thing,” Mikey got up off his seat and helped Frank gather the things needed for Gerard’s bed bath.

*

*

*

“Well, I’m heading to bed, guys. I’m beat. If you need me though, let me know,” Frank got up, yawning and stretching. He waved to the Way brothers and left the living room.

“What about you, Gee? You tired yet?” Mikey asked, stifling a yawn.

“Not really…,” Gerard said reluctantly, suddenly feeling on edge. He still needed to say sorry for his poor behavior.

“Alright, then. Well, let me know when you are ready to go to bed,”

“Wait a minute...there’s something I need to tell you, Mikey,”

“What’s that?” Mikey asked.

“I...I’m sorry,” Gerard sighed. “I’m sorry about the shitty way I acted earlier. It was childish of me. Here you guys are taking care of me, and here I am, being a jerk. I hope you understand,”

“That’s very nice of you, Gee,” Mikey smiled. “I think you should go and tell that to Frank. I think he’d really appreciate it,”

“Alright,” Gerard wheeled himself to Frank’s bedroom, where he was in the middle of taking off his shirt. He stopped when he heard Gerard come in.

“Huh? Oh hey, Gee. Did you need something?” Frank asked.

“Frank...I just wanna say...I’m sorry,”

“Sorry for what, Gee?” Frank took off his shirt and groaned as he flexed his muscles.

“Sorry for…,” Gerard stopped, his jaw nearly dropping to the ground. He forgot how much he missed seeing Frank’s bare body. His slender and sculpted body looks so perfect. “Oh my god…,”

Frank was completely oblivious to Gerard’s thoughts. He opened his scrub pants and slipped them down.

“Hey, Gee. I was thinking...how about we go to the park tomorrow? It will be good to get out for a bit, and it is supposed to be slightly over cast tomorrow, but not too bad wind wise,”

“Yeah...that’d be great…,” Gerard stuttered, a smile slowly growing on his face. He just couldn’t stop staring at Frank, for the life of him. He looks so fucking gorgeous…

“Great!” Frank folded his scrubs up neatly and tossed them on the chair. He had to remember to add them to the laundry on Saturday. “Did you want me to read to you again?” he asked, finally turning around to face Gerard.

“Y-yes, Frankie….P-please,” Gerard said, his blushing cheeks red as a ripe apple.

“Are you feeling alright, Gee?” Frank walked up and leaned over, touching his hands to Gerard’s head. “You feel a little warm. Hang on, I’m gonna take your temperature,” Frank walked back over to the bed and bent over to the first aid kit he kept there. He couldn’t have found a better place to bend his sweet ass in front of--right in front of Gerard’s face. Now Gerard was so hot and bothered that his skin was hot to the touch. He just couldn’t stop staring at that sweet, sexy ass in front of him that belonged to Frank fucking Iero.

“Here we go,” Frank stood up and turned around. This was something straight out of a bad 70’s porn flick--the hot nurse in his underwear taking the temperature of his patient. Frank walked back over.

“Oh my, Gee. Your whole face is red,” he said, looking at Gerard worriedly. Now, open wide.”

Gerard opened up his mouth, obeying his good-looking stud of a caregiver, his whole body shaking like never before.

“That’s it, lift your tongue,” Frank placed the glass under Gerard’s tongue and then lifted his wrist to time his pulse. Gerard’s limp wrist hung right in front of Frank’s crotch. Frank was looking at his watch the whole time. Gerard’s eyes widened to the size of ping pong calls when he saw where his immobile hand was laying, unable to move. He knew none of this was right, but...this is what he’s been wanting to do to Frank since high school. And now, it’s happening...just not in the way he imagined.

“Well, you aren’t running a fever, but I still want to cool your body down,” Frank said, checking Gerard’s temperature on the thermometer.

“H-how can we...d-do that?” Gerard asked shakily, his hand still on Frank’s crotch.

“Simple, I’ll give you another sponge bath with cool water and no soap. Let me just get dressed again,”

“Mmm...I’d love to have another bath,” Gerard smirked shyly, still shaking like a leaf. 

“Cool.” Frank took the thermometer and cleaned it with alcohol. He then went to get dressed again.

“Wait, Frankie,” Gerard said, stopping Frank. “There’s no need to do that. You’re just gonna get your clothes wet anyway…,”

“Hmmm...yeah, you’re right,” Frank nodded in agreement. “Alright, go to your room and I’ll meet you there,”

“Gotcha,” Gerard smirked, wheeling himself back to his room. He scored big this time…

*

*

*

“Alright, Gee. Here we go,” Frank said, dipping the sponge in cool water and starting at Gerard’s head slowly, and ran it down his body.

“Mmmm…,” Gerard moaned, shutting his eyes as he arched his head back.

“It must be worse than I thought from your reaction,”

In truth, Frank was trying to stay professional, but now what was happening and how he was dressed...well, let’s say someone...or something else had taken an interest.

“That feels really good, Frankie,” Gerard smiled, looking longingly at Frank.

“G-good, I’m glad it’s cooling you down some,”

“You give the best baths, you know that, right?”

“It’s just a bath, no big deal. I mean, usually Mikey will help me too, so…,”

“Still, it feels good, Frankie…,”

“Well, it seems to be helping. Your skin is no longer flushed,” Frank was admonishing himself. He could do this. He could be professional.

“You know, Frank...I never imagined you’d be doing any of this when we were in high school together,” Gerard said, looking back at the fond memories of their punk selves fucking around in school.

“I know, right? Who would have thought I would clean up so well…No pun intended,” Frank laughed. Gerard laughed with him. He shivered a little from the water.

“I think you are cool enough now. Let’s get you dried off,” Frank grabbed a towel and started to pat Gerard dry.

“Thank you, Frankie. That was one hell of a bath!”

“You needed it,”

Frank got Gerard dressed warm and snug in bed. He saw Gerard yawn. He looked so peaceful, decked out in skeleton pajamas, all warm and cozy under layers of blankets.

“You get some sleep, Gee,” Frank smiled down at him, laying one last blanket over Gerard’s body.

“Will do, baby,” Gerard winked. It wasn’t long before he suddenly remembered something--the voices he hears at night. The smile on his face quickly faded. Frank cleaned up the mess and then turned off the lights, leaving a dim one in case Gerard decided to read a bit.

“Night, Gee,” he said. Then he was gone. Gerard sighed deeply, knowing that Frank will say no to staying with him after what happened last time. He closed his eyes, trying his damnedest to prepare for what’s yet to come in the midst of his soon to be disrupted sleep.


	8. A Seizure Dims The Lights

_***Time Stamp: End of March***_

“What the fuck?!”

Frank woke up to a scream coming from Gerard’s bedroom. He scrambled out of bed, getting caught in the sheets and nearly braining himself on the corner of the nightstand. He ran out of his room and down the hall to Gerard’s, opening the door.

“Gerard! Ger--”

Gerard shook uncontrollably, his entire body a seizing mess as he thrashed and kicked in the puke-stained bed, his eyes rolled to the back of his head. The only thing escaping from his lips were utters and chokes of incomprehensible speech. It was like something straight out of a horror movie. Frank felt his heart drop into his stomach as he gasped in fear.

“Frank?” Mikey called out from the other room, dashing outta bed and down the hall. “What’s going on?”

“Gerard’s convulsing! He’s having a seizure! Call an ambulance now!” Frank screamed, running to Gerard’s aid. Mikey didn’t say a word. He ran to the telephone, his hands frantic and scrambling to dial 911.

“Hold him down, Frank! Don’t let him bite his tongue or his his head!” Mikey yelled from the other room as he held the phone to his ear.

“Gee! Gee!” Frank moved everything away that could harm the patient, but he was powerless. All he could do was watch in horror. Gerard continued to kick and thrash in the bed, drool running down from his shaking lips. Mikey ran into the room with the phone in his hand, tears running from his raw eyes.

“Don’t touch him,” Frank firmly shoved Mikey away, keeping him away from the convulsing Gerard. “Don’t do anything. I know it sucks, but we can hurt him more if we do. Just keep objects away from his body,” he sighed, hoping the paramedics would get here in time before it was too late.

“Gerard…,” Mikey shook his head, feeling worthless that he couldn’t do anything to help save his big brother that’s falling apart. “I’m so sorry…,”

The door opened and the medics arrived. They asked a bunch of questions as two of them went to assist Gerard. Frank answered all he could and gave them an electronic medical card that he got for Gerard. It was the size of a credit card, but it had a USB part and contained Gerard’s medical history. It was so much easier.

“When did the convulsing start?” a female EMT asked.

“I heard him cry out about ten minutes ago, and I ran in here and found him,” Frank replied.

“Alright. We’ll just take it from here,” the medic said, assisting her partners in transferring Gerard to the gurney, his whole body still shaking and kicking violently. Frank turned to Mikey.

“You want to go with them and I’ll drive?”

“Yeah...I need to be there with him,” Mikey sniffled, not shedding a single tear.

“Alright. I’ll pack a bag for Gerard, and then I’ll meet you there,” Frank patted Mikey’s shoulder and then left to get dressed. Mikey took off with Gerard and the EMTs, following them to the ambulance.

_ _ _

It had been a week. Frank felt like shit. He spend all his time at the hospital. He really needed a shower, but Mikey had to work so Frank stayed with Gerard. He had not woken up yet, but he was breathing off the oxygen again with a tube down his throat. Frank sat there reading to him. He hoped he could hear him at least. Frank looked up and saw Mikey at the door.

“Hey, no changes yet. How are you?” Frank asked.

“What do you think?” Mikey sighed, looking over to his unconscious brother that’s hooked up to a series of machines.

“He’ll come around, don’t worry. Despite his words, Gerard is a fighter,”

“I hope you’re right, Frank,” Mikey sat beside Frank, who put his arm around him.

“I know he will wake up, but I just don’t know how he will be beyond that, so we should prepare ourselves,”

“How is the patient today?” a doctor walked in, and Frank smiled wearliy at him.

“Alright, Dr. Urie. Still no changes, but his color is good,”

“And what about you, Frank?”

“I’m hanging in there,” Frank replied. The doctor turned to Mikey.

“And how are you doing?”

“Eh, been better, been worse,” Mikey shrugged.

“Sounds a lot like your brother. Let me check his vitals and we will see what’s happening,”

“Sure thing,” Mikey and Frank stepped back to let Dr. Urie examine the patient. Once he was done he wrote on his chart.

“So, as you said, no changes, but we are still hopeful. We would like to do a CAT scan today, though,”

“CAT scan?” Mikey felt his stomach constrict.

“Yeah, we want to see if there are any complications that the seizure caused to his brain,”

“Oh...alright,” he sighed. He felt Frank touch his knee.

“It’s better to know now, Mikey,” he said reassuringly.

“I know...I’m just scared, that’s all,”

“I am too,”

“Well, I will set up to have Gerard moved,” Dr. Urie said. “It will take a few hours, so why don’t you go and--”

“I’m staying,” Frank said, cutting the doctor off.

“Me too, doc,” Mikey joined.

“Frank, I know you have not left for a whole week. At least Michael showers for work,” Dr. Urie looked up from his papers, a serious look on his face. “Seriously, you are not going to be much of a caretaker if you don’t take care of yourself,”

“I said I’m fucking fine! I’m staying!” Frank raised his voice.

“Please, doc. Please let Frank stay. Gerard needs us!” Mikey begged.

“How is Gerard gonna need you if he is going to be gone for only a few hours? There is no reason for you to wait here for that time,” Dr. Urie turned to Mikey. “Michael, I thought you would be a better friend to convince him to go home--”

“Don’t you fucking talk to him like that!” Frank jumped out of his seat and pushed the doctor hard.

“Frank, wait!” Mikey leapt forward, grabbing Frank and pulling away from Dr. Urie, but it was too late. The damage had already been done.

“Mr. Iero, I am calling security,” Dr. Urie glared at Frank. “You are to be escorted from the premises and to not return for the next forty-eight hours and will have a chaperone with you at all times,” he pressed the buzzer around his neck, speaking into it. “Security to room 423,”

Mikey turned to Frank, looking horrified. Even in his state of comatose, Gerard will be scared without Frank. He needs him, especially now. He can just hear his brother cry for him, begging him to stay by his side.

“Doc...please…,” Mikey begged again, desperation in his voice.

“Security, which one?” Two armed men arrived. The doctor pointed to Frank. They moved toward him. “Sir, we are to escort you off the premises,”

“Yeah, yeah...I know,” Frank rolled his eyes. He knew he pushed too far. He grabbed his coat as he turned to Mikey. “Mikey, let Gee know that I was here for him, okay?”

“Let’s go, sir,” one of the men raised his voice.

“I’m going,” Frank sighed as the men pushed him out the door. He knew there was no sneaking back in. Mikey sighed deeply, waving to Frank as he was dragged out the room. He came to his brother’s side, putting a reassuring hand on his head and brushing his bangs from his face.

“It’s gonna be okay, big brother,”

_ _ _

Frank’s phone rang, waking him up early in the morning. He picked it up, answering it as he rubbed his sleepy eyes.

“Hello?”  
“Frank, it’s me,” Mikey replied, sounding anything but happy, like he’s done a good deal of crying.

“Mikey, what’s going on? How’s Gee? What were the results?” Frank asked.

“Frank...oh, it’s not good…,” Mikey sighed. “The seizures made the deterioration of Gerard’s nerves worsen. Dr. Urie said that he’ll likely be unable to eat or communicate, or even breathe. Gerard still hasn’t woken up. We’re all starting to get worried,”

“Calm down, Mikey. I am sure things are not that bad. Gerard was breathing fine when I left, so I think you added the breathing part. However, the eating and talking, we knew that would be something that we would all have to deal with one day. Gerard has the machine, so communication is still possible once he gets home. The rest we will have to figure out, but honestly, a lot is up to Gerard himself. He is so negative about everything that he almost wills himself to shut down,”

“I know, and that scares me. I’m fucking scared, Frank…,” Mikey whispered, losing himself to his own tears. He broke down, unable to hold back his sobs.

“I know you are. I will be back on Wednesday, and we can figure things out then for Gee, but meanwhile, I realized the doc was right. Come home and take care of yourself,”

“I can’t, Frank. Someone’s gotta be here for Gerard. I don’t want anything to happen to him. You remember what happened last time we left him alone in the hands of strangers, don’t you?”

“Mikey…this is different. Come on, please come home,”

“I’m sorry, Frank. I just can’t let go. Who’s gonna be there for him when he wakes up?”

“Do you want to get thrown out too?” Frank sighed. Mikey was as stubborn as his brother.

“No! God forbid someone’s there to watch after his dying brother, huh?” Mikey protested.

“Look, just….You know what? Forget it. I’ll see you on Wednesday,” Frank hung up.

“Frankie? You alright, bambino?” Rosalie called out, tapping on Frank’s bedroom door.

“Yes, nonna,” Frank opened the door and smiled at her. “Just a phone call. Hey, thank you for letting me stay here yesterday. I just couldn’t go back yet,”

“You’re welcome. You’re always welcome here. How’s Gerard?” Rosalie asked, coming in the room.

“He’s not good. He was deteriorated further with his motor functions, and now he can’t eat or talk. It is quite sad. Still, I will continue to care for him until the end...Mikey, too,”

“Oh, bambino…,” Rosalie frowned, sitting on Frank’s bedside and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry about that,”

“It’s alright. I think right now I need to be there more for Mikey than Gerard. He is the one that has to deal with the heaviest burden of being the healthy one,”

“I can imagine. I’m so happy to know that I have a grandson that’s so supportive and caring. Your father raised you right,”

“He did, and I am going to do him proud, but right now I am going to use the bathroom and then help you out with cleaning the house,” Frank stood up and kissed her on the cheek and left the room.


	9. Life Long Hospital Stay

“Frank, you gonna come back to see Gerard?” Mikey asked, talking to Frank on the phone. “You’re no longer barred from seeing him, and...I’m sure he misses you,”

“Yeah, I will. I just want to finish getting the apartment ready for his return,”

“Alrighty then. Dr. Urie said that Gerard should be awake by now...but he still isn’t. He’s really starting to get concerned,”

“He will be soon. Don’t worry,”

Frank disconnected the call. He had to thank Dr. Urie when he saw him again. If he had not thrown him out, Frank would not have realized that he was in a downward spiral.

“Everything for a reason. Right, dad?” Frank smiled and went back to his task of playing on his acoustic guitar.

_ _ _

“Hey, Mikey. How are you doing?” Georgia walked into Gerard’s room.

“I’m fine...just waiting,” Mikey said as he sighed deeply, sitting by his brother’s bedside. He couldn’t help but notice how thin Gerard’s gotten, as well as the tube up his nose feeding him, as well as the other one down his throat helping him breathe.

“I heard. Frank suggested you might want to talk,”

“I...I kinda do. I guess I really gotta talk,”

“It can only help you go forward in life, and it will be helpful with your brother in understanding how he feels,”

“I know. I really, really wanna help him in any way I can. I want him to live a good life before he...passes on. I’m just scared how he’ll be when he wakes up, and he realizes he’s gotten worse. It’ll really break his heart...and I wanna try to make the best of the situation,”

“That is most admirable of you, Mikey. It is that kind of positive thinking your brother needs,”

“Thank you, Georgia,” Mikey smiled sadly, wrapping his hand around his brother’s and holding it tight.

“No problem. I’m going to get some coffee, you want some?”

“Yes, please. Watching after my brother can get tiresome, I must admit,”

“Come with me to cafe. It’s right downstairs near the lobby. We’ll be back in a few minutes,” Georgia offered her hand to Mikey, who reluctantly took it as he kissed Gerard’s forehead before he left.

“I’ll be right back, Gee,”

Georgia helped Mikey up and they left the room. He walked with her, taking the elevator down to the floor where the cafe is. Dr. Urie walked into Gerard’s room, just to see him asleep.

“Hello, Mr. Way. It’s nice to see your brother taking care care of himself too, huh?” he examined the machines by Gerard’s bedside, looking at his vitals.

Suddenly, it happened. Gerard sleepily opened up his eyes, those green and brown orbs of his foggy and disoriented. He looked around the room, searching for anyone he knows for security and reassurance. Where is he? How did he get here? How long was he asleep? What even happened?

“Ah, welcome back, Gerard. Give me a moment,” Dr. Urie pressed his communicator. “Please let Mr. Michael Way know his brother is awake. He is in the cafe. Also, please inform his caregiver Mr. Frank Iero. His number should be in the emergency contacts,”

Gerard moaned, unable to utter a single word from his mouth. It wasn’t long before his breathing grew frantic, his body hyperventilating and uneasy as his eyes watered. Frank and Mikey aren’t here. It’s time for Gerard to go into panic mode.

“Easy, Gerard. Calm down. You have a tube in your throat. We need to pull it out,” Dr. Urie said firmly. Gerard resisted, despite being unable to move. He struggled within the bed, but to no avail. He had lost movement in his neck, leaving him entirely vulnerable and shiftless, except for his face that is full of fear. A few other nurses and doctors came in to assist. Dr. Urie looked down at his patient. “Gerard, we are going to extract the tube now,”

Gerard continued and cry and sniffle, completely defenseless against the people surrounding him. He can’t even tell them all no. He was entirely powerless over his own deteriorating body. Once the tube was extracted, Gerard’s vitals were assessed. The medical workers talked to each other in jargon Gerard didn’t understand. He mumbled, unable to ask where Frank and Mikey are at. He also wanted to ask what the hell happened to him, but the only thing that can escape from his lips are incomprehensible utters and gags. Soon, the staff left, leaving just Gerard and Dr. Urie.

“Your brother and caregiver should be here soon. It was, pardon my French, hell to get them to leave this room at all,”

“Where are they?” is what Gerard wanted to ask, but for the life of him, he just couldn’t get it out. Frustrated, he screamed, begging the doctor to hear him and acknowledge his agitation.

“Gerard, calm down. They will be here soon,” Dr. Urie said. Gerard ignored his doctor’s orders, unable to calm himself from his state of distress as he growled and groaned for both his brother and caregiver.

“Gerard, if you do not stop, we will have to sedate you, and then you will be asleep again for a bit,” Dr. Urie said firmly. Gerard did just that, hushing up. That didn’t stop the tears that ran down his eyes, though.

“I’m sorry to scare you, Gerard...but I need you to chill out a bit. Just stay calm and everything will be explained,”

Unable to protest any further, Gerard stayed silent, his sniffles and quiet sobs being the only thing uttered from his lips.

_ _ _

Frank probably should have gotten that ticket, but the cop believed he was on his way to the hospital for an emergency, and he was in scrubs, so whatever. He pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of the car. He ran in the door to the elevator and crashed into someone.

“Frank!”

“Georgia, Mikey,”

“Oh, Frank...am I glad to see you,” Mikey smiled, relieved.

“Come on, let’s get up there,” Frank said. Together, Frank, Mikey, and Georgia all hopped on to the elevator and made their way up to the fourth floor, where Gerard awaited their return. They made it to Gerard’s room, where they were all greeted by Dr. Urie. He kept his glance distant and away from Frank, who clearly had not forgotten about what happened the other day in Gerard’s room.

“Hello, everyone. As you all know, Gerard is finally awake,” he said.

“Hey doc, I wanted to thank you for sending...no, forcing me to leave. It really was a good thing,” Frank replied. Dr. Urie smiled at him.

“Yeah, well I only used security cause if I did it any other way, you would have not listened,”

“It’s so true,” Frank laughed. He turned to Gerard. “Hey, Gee. I know you can’t talk, but...I’m glad to see you awake,”

Gerard smiled up at him, trying his damndest to tell him how much he misses him, but of course, all he could utter were a series of moans and mumbles.

“Alright, so you are all here,” Dr. Urie said, grabbing the group’s attention. “Let’s discuss what is going to happen next,”

“We’re ready, doc,” Mikey replied reluctantly, taking his brother’s limp hand and holding it tight, his own hand shaking.

“So a little over a week ago, Gerard had a seizure in the middle of the night. The brain activity that we discovered has rendered him without a voice and very little muscle movement,”

“What about eating? Will he be stuck being tube-fed?” Mikey asked shakily.  
“Unfortunately...that answer is yes,” Dr. Urie sighed.

“That means he’ll have to have a G-tube inserted in his stomach...which requires surgery…,” Mikey replied. Beside him, Gerard twitched and whined, clinging onto his baby brother for his dear life.

“Yes, that is true, Michael. We want to schedule this right away,” Dr. Urie confirmed.

“Doc, Gerard has a machine that allows for communication still through his eyes and typing,” Frank added.

“Well, whoever got that for him was doing some thinking ahead. It will aid him now for sure,”

“We need to get that sent here as soon as possible. I don’t want Gerard to be without communication. It’s scary for all of us, including him,” Mikey reached over to Gerard, reassuring him. “It’s gonna be okay, Gee. We’re all here,”

“I will get it and bring it when I got home for clothing for him,” Frank smiled.

“Thanks, Frank,” Mikey turned back Dr. Urie, concern clear on his face. “What about Gerard’s breathing? Has that been affected too?”

“As of now, no. However, he’ll still need the C-PAP at night when he’s sleeping. Precautions will be taken of course, such as oxygen tanks and an emergency plan, should the need arise. When Gerard does eventually get to the point where he can’t breathe right, we’ll have to insert a tracheostomy into him,”

“Alright,” Mikey nodded, turning to Frank, looking like he’s trying to hold back all the devastation in his eyes.

“Frank, I will need to give you more paperwork and instructions after the surgery is over,” Dr. Urie turned to Frank. “As his caregiver, there is a heavier burden on you, and--”

“It has never been a burden, and it never will be. Gerard is an old friend and a new one, and like family to me,” Frank chided. Beside him, Gerard smiled warmly up at him, wanting to just take him into a hug and hold him tight.

“Thank you, Frank. Thank you...for everything,” Mikey grinned, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes.

“No, thank you for letting me be a part of your family again,” Frank smiled back. Mikey nodded in approval, his brother beside him smiling. He turned back to Dr. Urie, back to concern mode.

“Anything else we need to know, regarding Gerard’s condition?”

Dr. Urie suddenly looked at a loss for words, looking down at his notes about the patient in discontent.

“Doc?” Frank looked at him.

“Gerard’s condition is deteriorating...rapidly,”

“We know...and that’s what really scares me,” Mikey sighed, Gerard beside him frowning and forlorn.

“The biggest danger to Gerard right now is himself. This thought can weigh heavily on him and cause deep depression. If that occurs, he could consider terminating his own life. This is the situation that we need to pay the most attention to,”

“I think I can help with that,” Georgia added.

“And you are?” Dr. Urie turned to her.

“Dr. Georgia Ross. I am treating Mr. Way and Mr. Iero for PTSD of an incident that occurred with a past caregiver and the elder Mr. Way. I was hoping to treat him as well, but he ended up here before I could talk to him about it,”

Gerard snarled at Dr. Ross, wishing he had the capable coordination and speech to cuss her out. He trembled under the sheets, wanting to leap outta his bed and strangle the ever-loving life outta her. But he couldn’t. He knew in the back of his mind that he had to accept the fact that he’s not just sick physically, but psychologically as well. He’s sick of the nightmares of Marco, his face haunting him. He sighed deeply, knowing that he’ll have to swallow his pride and accept the fact that he needs help...badly.

“That is good to hear, Dr. Ross. I will have a meeting with you then, as well about our findings,” Dr. Urie nodded to Ross. She smiled, and Frank inwardly rolled his eyes. He would have to make fun of her later about it.

“Alright. Well, Mr. Way,” Dr. Urie turned to Mikey. “Let’s go schedule the surgery for your brother. Mr. Iero, you can go get the machine, and...Dr. Ross, I should get your information so that I can be in contact with you,”

“Thank you so much, doc,” Mikey smiled, returning to his brother’s side to reassure him to not get worked up over a surgery, something that would indeed terrify Gerard.

“Good. So while Mr. Iero is gone, I will talk to Dr. Ross and you may stay with your brother for a bit,” Dr. Urie moved to the door and opened it, leaving it for Georgia. “After you, please,”

“I can’t believe her,” Frank laughed when Ross an Urie left together.

“I can’t, either,” Mikey laughed with him in an attempt to brighten the bleak mood within the room, coming from Gerard’s fear of the surgery. Mikey turned to him, patting him on the shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay, Gee. We’ll all be right here,”

“Well, I will get going now and be back soon,” Frank got up and left with a quick smile and nod. Gerard moaned and cried, his eyes begging him to come back. Mikey came to his aid, soothing him.

“It’s okay, Gee. I’m here. He’s gotta go get your machine,”

Reassured for now...for only a little bit, Gerard took a deep breath, knowing that he’ll have to suck it up and wait for Frank to come back with the machine. He can’t wait to get his hands on it and tell him how much he adores and loves Frankie, since he can no longer utter it from his lips.

_ _ _

“Sorry it took so long, traffic was a bitch,” Frank said, bringing the box in with the communication device. “I read the instructions, and it doesn't look that hard to do,”

“Better late than never I suppose,” Mikey laughed, Gerard beside him smiling widely, knowing that he’s soon to be able to communicate again, even if it’s not the same as it used to be.

“Fuck off, Mikes,” Frank laughed back. “Okay, so let’s set this bad boy up, shall we?”

Mikey stood up to help Frank take the materials of the machine out of the box and assemble it together, going off the instructions of a manual. The whole time, Gerard shook with excitement, itching to express himself, no matter if it was by mouth or by a computer. Just as long as people can listen to him, especially Frankie. It wasn’t long before the device was all set up and ready to go.

“Well, how are we doing here?” Dr. Urie returned with Georgia. Frank looked at her, and she turned away and blushed. Oh yes, he was talking to her later. “I see you have the machine all set up, Gerard. How is it working?”

Using the muscles in his forehead and eyes, Gerard utilized the machine to type up what he wants to say, then vocalize it on command. It was a rather tedious and complicated process at first when learning how to use it for when he succumbed to a worse state from the illness, but now, the machine works with ease, just like being good at typing on a computer keyboard.

_ “Very well, works great,”  _ the computerized male voice spoke, mimicking Gerard’s. He turned his eyes over to Frank and Mikey.  _ “Thank you...the both of you, so much,” _

“Oh, it works very well!”

“Welcome back, Gee,” Frank smiled.

_ “I missed you too, Frank,”  _ Gerard smiled back.

“Well, now that we have communication back, why don’t the two Ways and I talk about the surgery?”

“Alright, I’ll go with Georgia to the cafe for a bit,” Frank said. He took Georgia’s arm and left with her, waving goodbye to the Ways.

“Okay now, Gerard,” Dr. Urie turned back to his patient. “How much did you understand before what we were talking about?”

_ “I heard everything. Every fucking word,”  _ Gerard grimmaced, the monotone voice of the computer unfitting of the discomfort in his voice.  _ “Especially the surgery,” _

“Well, the alternative is trying to eat and possibly choking to death,”

_ “I know...doc,” _

“So then, let’s get this surgery done as soon as possible and get you home again. I think that’s what everyone wants,”

Gerard began to shiver in his bed, cringing at the thought of going under the knife. He looked over to Mikey, seeking some sort of protection, whatever it may be.

“I think if we schedule the surgery within the next few days, we could have you home by the end of the month,”

“Sounds good,” Mikey said, coming to Gerard’s aid once again and holding him tight. “It’s okay, Gee. I got you,”

“Great. I will go check my book and see when we can fit you in. Meanwhile, here are some pamphlets about the surgery and the after care,” Dr. Urie gave Mikey some papers and then left the room. Mikey looked over the pamphlets, flipping through the pages. He couldn’t believe his brother was so close to being fed through a tube in his stomach. Just the thought made his heart ache. Gerard right beside him looked just as distressed.

“Georgia decided to head home,” Frank said, coming back with coffee for Mikey.

“Thanks, man,” Mikey said, taking the cup. His brother looked up in envy, wanting and wishing he had the coordination to indulge in his favorite beverage. Frank and Mikey sipped their coffees as Frank looked over the information.

“Here’s all we gotta do once the tube is in Gerard,” Mikey said, looking over all the instructions with Frank. “We also need to keep him hydrated by flushing his tube with water it says, and make sure that the stoma doesn’t get infected, so we’ll have to be careful with bathing him and make sure it doesn’t get wet,”

“It says here to clamp it tight to keep the water out, but the good news is that the clamp works so well that he can still swim if he wants to in the shallow water. That will be nice for the summertime,”

_ “Wait a minute. I can still swim?”  _ Gerard’s furrowed his brow, the computer asking his question for him. “I can still swim? How is that even possible? I can’t even move,”

“Not swim as in the movement of it, but we can still go to the beach and you can enjoy the water without fear. I would be with you of course, Gee,”

_ “Good. I’ve always loved swimming. You know that,”  _ Gerard smiled.

“Yeah, and I think we may even be able to skinny dip too,” Frank laughed.

_ “I’m up for that,” _

“Ah, good. You guys are getting along,” Dr. Urie returned. “So the surgeon can take you on the nineteenth, which means if you recover quickly, with no complications, you could be home before the twenty-fifth,”

“Great. What time is the surgery?” Mikey asked.

“Six in the morning,”

“Damn, pretty early,”

“Well, to be honest, the surgeon is coming in as a special favor for me. He was booked pretty solid this month, but I asked him to do an early surgery,”

“Must be a really good one, I assume?”

“Oh yes, Dr. Stump is the best in the business,”

“Perfect. Looks like the surgery will go nicely,” Mikey smiled, turning to his now uneasy brother. This was really happening to him. He was gonna go under the knife. He was gonna be operated on, and knowing that fucking terrified him.

“And as you can see, it is a very simple process, and Gerard will be in the recovery room by seven,”

“Oh, really? Good!” Mikey smiled, turning to Gerard. “See? It won’t be that bad, will it?”

_ “Yes. Yes, it will,”  _ Gerard replied with the machine, his whole body shaky and on edge.

“Gee, just look here. It is such a simple procedure, they do it on children too,”

_ “I know, but still. I’ve never had surgery before,” _

“It will be fine, Gee. They’ll put you under anesthesia so you won’t even know it happens,”

_ “But they’ll do that with injecting something into me. You know I hate needles, Mikey,” _ Gerard looked up at Mikey with eyes full of desperation, shuddering at the thought of someone putting a needle in Gerard’s vein.

“Actually, Gerard...since you have been here, you have had an IV in you and all injections have been administered through there, so no needles will be needed.

_ “Oh, really?”  _ Gerard asked, dumbfounded.

“I love you, Gee...but sometimes you are the clueless boy you were in freshman year when you believed those seniors said all the freshmen had to wear that crazy uniform for gym,” Frank giggled. He could not help it.

_ “Oh yeah, I remember that. God, I was dumb,”  _ Gerard laughed with Frank lightheartedly.

“Yeah, so stop worrying Gee. They’re gonna take good care of you here, and then Mikey and I will take good care of you when you get home,” Frank laid a hand on Gerard’s shoulder and squeezed it, unsure what he could feel, but knowing he would understand the gesture.

_ “Thanks, Frank,”  _ Gerard blushed a bit. Dr. Urie left after a bit more small talk. Frank yawned and then covered it up.

“Tired, hmm?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah, I’ve been cleaning so much and getting the house ready that I guess I didn’t get any real rest...other than getting kicked out for being an ass,”

“You should get some rest, Frank. You deserve it,”

“Yeah, I know. You staying longer, or are you coming with, Mikes?”

“I’ll stay with Gerard. I know he’ll be a real basket case on the morning of the surgery--”

_ “Hey! I heard that!”  _ Gerard’s machine cut Mikey off. Frank and Mikey laughed.

“At least he can still be sarcastic,” Frank said. He kissed Gerard’s cheek, and then Mikey’s. “See you boys later,” he waved goodbye as he gathered his coat and left.

_ “Bye, Frankie…,” _ Gerard frowned, watching him go.

“It’s okay, Gerard. You’ve got me,” Mikey patted Gerard on the shoulder. “Trust me. The surgery is supposed to be quick and simple. You’ll be out and ready to go home before you know it,”

_ “I guess you’re right,”  _ Gerard typed, sighing a bit. It hasn’t even been a minute since Frank’s been gone, but he missed him already.


	10. Seasons Change, But People Don't

_***Time Stamp: Six Months Later***_

Frank was having a cigarette on the balcony. He looked out at the setting sun and felt the slight breeze of the impending autumn season coming. He blew the smoke out and watched it curl in the air. He thought about the last few months and how so much had changed. After Gerard’s surgery, things were a little rough. Georgia had warned both Frank and Mikey that Gerard might get depressed for a bit. A bit was an understatement, though. Gerard spent most of May and into June doing literally nothing. Finally Mikey read Gerard the riot act and Frank stopped trying to get him to do anything in order to show him how much he was hurting them.

By mid June, Gerard started to come around again. It was not instantaneous of course, but little by little Gerard started to change his behavior. He resigned and started talking to Georgia. It really did help him to get past what Marco did to him. Soon he was alright with being touched and held, even if he could not fully feel anything anymore, he knew it was there. By mid July, he had started joining Frank and Mikey on trips to their old watering hole. Gerard sat in the shallows and relaxed in the shaded sun with his body half-submerged and the feeding tube well clamped, and his arms equipped with floaties. Frank was so expert at it all by now, Gerard was never worried. He watched Frank and Mikey splash in the deeper waters like he and Frank used to. Frank felt bad, but the look on Gerard’s face hold him that it was not bothering him at all. If fact, the look on his face was...puzzling when he looked at him and Mikey.

Frank also found a program that allowed Gerard to continue his love of art. With an outlet now, Gerard was feeling in much better spirits. He has also turning out some amazing computer generated art. Frank loved that Gerard had gotten that part of him back. It truly made him happy.

“Frankie, you coming? Movie is about to start,”

Frank turned and saw Mikey in the doorway. He was leaning against it and smiling. The setting sun flooded Gerard’s room and it covered Mikey in hues of orange and reds. Frank smiled back as he put his cigarette out and dropped the butt into a can that was kept on the balcony for him.

“Yeah, Mikes. I’m coming,” Frank walked through the room to the door. Mikey held out his hand for him. Frank raised an eyebrow, but then said fuck it and took it as they made their way to the living room and Gerard.

*

*

*

It was October now, and Frank was really happy with Gerard’s progress. The machine he gave him had allowed him more freedom both in the hospital bed and the wheelchair. It was nice to see how excited being even a little independent would make him. Frank also noticed that Mikey was more relaxed now.

“Looks like that machine is working just well for Gee, even though he can’t really talk anymore...or eat, either,” Mikey frowned a bit, the sad image of Gerard hooked up to a tube through his stomach to feed him stuck in his head.

“Don’t look at what he can’t do,” Frank replied. “Look at what he can do, Mikes,”

“Good point,” he nodded. “At least he can do what he loves doing, despite his impediments,”

“Yes, and even if he can’t do it with his lips, his eyes smile,” Frank grinned. Mikey smiled back, taking Frank into a tight hug as he tried to hold back tears. Frank, of course, hugged him back.

“Thank you...for everything,” Mikey said.

“There is no need to thank me. I am just doing what is right by my friends,”

“I know, and I really appreciate it,”

Frank hears a sound and looks over at Gerard calling him.

“Duty calls,” Frank pats Mikey on the shoulder and then heads over to Gerard. “What’s up, Gee?”

 **“I’m cold,”** the machine spoke, saying what Gerard couldn’t get out of his lips.

“I’ll get you a blanket then,” Frank left the room. Mikey walked up to his brother and touched his cheek.

“I’m really glad Frank got you this. I remember how upset you were at first because of the cost, but it has really been helpful, huh Gee?”

 **“Yes, it really helps. It’s a blessing,”** Gerard replied, the computer reading the words he typed out with his eyes.

“You are the blessing in our lives, Gee,” Frank said, returning with the blanket and placing it around Gerard’s shoulders and covering his lap. “There, is that better?”

 **“Yes, thank you. You are a blessing in my life, too,”** the computer spoke, mimicking his speech.

“You are still too sweet for your words, Gee,” Frank yawned and stretched. “I’m going to take a shower now,” Frank turned away and headed down the hall. Mikey turned to Gerard, smirking when Frank left into the bathroom.

“Hey Gee, Frankie’s birthday is at the end of the month. Do you know what you want to get him?”

 **“Hmmm…,”** Gerard looked down, deep in thought. It wasn’t long before his eyes brightened up. **“I’ve seen Frank eyeing that one Fender in the music store. He was going on about how much he would love to have it, since he plays. It looked a bit pricey, though,”**

“I think we can afford it, Gee...especially for Frankie. He really deserves it. He has done so much for us in the last few months. Sometimes I think we will never be able to pay him back,”

**“I know, Mikey. I don’t understand how we got so lucky,”**

Mikey got a bit of a far off look on his face, like he was remembering something.

“Sometimes I think he is a bit of an angel...well, with tattoos. And smokes, drinks, and swears…,”

**“He’s a blessing in disguise, Mikey,”**

“Yeah,” Mikey smiled with a bit of a dopey grin.

**“How about if we make a trip to that music store tomorrow and get Frank his gift?”**

“Sure, and we can stop at the bakery and order him a cake, too,”

**“That’d be wonderful, Mikes,”**

“We have not been out together since the summer. This will be nice,”

 **“I’’m sure it will be…,”** Gerard said nervously. It had been rare for him to step out into the public eye, especially when he started to get knee-deep in the worsening of his illness, so it still made him a little nervous doing so, despite going out more and more as of recently.

“What are you two talking about in here?” Frank walked out in his pajama pants and a towel around his neck.

 **“Oh...nothing, Frankie,”** Gerard replied uneasily. Frank looked at the brothers. They both had a guilty face on. He smirked and moved closer.

“Oh...nothing, huh?” He circled around them.

 **“Why are you doing that?”** Gerard asked, following Frank as he circled around Mikey.

“I’m investigating,” Frank noticed that Mikey wouldn’t look at him. “Mhmm, just as I thought…,”

“What?” Mikey asked. Frank got really close and whispered in Mikey’s ear.

“...you Ways are up to something,”

Frank backed up and did the “I’m watching you” line and finger movement from Monsters Inc. as he slowly backed out of the room. When he was gone, Mikey let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“He is scary when he wants to know something. How the hell did you keep anything from him in high school, Gee?”

**“Trust me, it was hard...very hard…,”**

Mikey closed his eyes because Gerard used a good description word right now.

“Yeah, I believe it,” he said. The clock rang at that moment, and on cue, Gerard yawned. “I think it’s time for bed, Gee,”

**“Yeah, I’m tired. You just read my mind, Mikes,”**

Mikey followed Gerard to his room. He helped him into bed and tucked him in. He headed down the hall to his own room. As he passed Frank’s, the door was open and Frank did the finger motion of “watching you” again. Mikey shivered and then went in his room, closing the door behind him.

 _***Time Stamp: October***_

“I feel so bad, Gee,” Mikey frowned, sitting there with his favorite pizza, refusing to eat it. It tasted like cardboard because his brother couldn’t enjoy it with him. “You love pizza, and this was always our favorite place to go…,”

 **“Don’t feel bad because of me. I don’t wanna be a burden on the two of you. Go ahead, enjoy yourself!”** Gerard insisted. Mikey still looked down at the pizza.

“Maybe we could box it up and I can eat it later with Frank?”

**“Mikey, there’s no shame to feel eating in front of me. I ain’t jealous. It is what it is,”**

Mikey sighed and picked up the pizza. He took a small bite. He had to admit, it tasted really good.

 **“You know you like it, Mikey...you know you do,”** Gerard teased. “Yeah, I do,” Mikey smiled back.

**“See? Don’t feel bad about me. You and Frank shouldn’t worry about me so much,”**

“We love you, Gee...so it’s kind of hard not to,”

Gerard blushed a bit, feeling warmth in his heart, as well as butterflies flutter in his stomach. They both really loved him...and he used to take all that for granted. It made him feel terrible because of it. He had to say something.

**“Mikey...I’m so sorry about how I used to be. I know I was in a really dark place in my life, but that was no excuse for me to be such a shithead to you guys. I’ve got it made compared to some others. I’m so thankful for all you and Frank have done for me. I wish there was a way I could show it,”**

“You’re doing fine, Gee,” Mikey touched Gerard’s arm. “You go out with us more now and you are making art again, plus you’re going to therapy. I could not ask much more of you, neither of us could,”

**“You sure about that?”**

“Yeah, I am,” Mikey said. He quickly finished the pizza. He was really hungry, much more than he thought.

 **“How about we go and get Frank’s gift now?”** Gerard asked.

“Sounds good to me,”

After Mikey paid his bill, they set off and took a bus to the local music store, where they found soon-to-be Frank’s new Fender on display in one of the windows. It looked glorious, to say the least. They went inside and pointed it out to the man that worked behind the counter, who took it down and rang it up at the register.

“So...you want it delivered...on Halloween?” he asked after hearing Gerard and Mikey’s request of delivery date.

“Yes please,” Mikey said.

“Are you guys having a party or something?” the guy scratched his head in wonder.

 **“No, it’s for someone’s birthday,”** Gerard said.

“Oh, it’s a gift! Well then, we can wrap it for you guys,”

“That would be great!” Mikey smiled.

**“He’s gonna love this. It’ll knock his socks off!”**

“Yep,” Mikey noddded. He was really excited to see Frank’s face. An alarm went off on his phone. “Oh shit, Gee. We gotta get you home to take your pills,”

“Oh, right!” Gerard’s eyes widened a bit. He couldn’t miss his medication. Doing so would be fatal. They all finalized everything with the shop and then left for home.

*

*

*

“Happy birthday, Frankie!”

Frank smiled as he sat at the table. The cake was perfect and just the right size for the four of them. He was really surprised that they invited his Nonna too. Rosalie made an Italian feast for them all, and Frank felt bad that Gerard couldn’t enjoy it like they could, but a quick smile and dismissal wave by him told Frank to stop worrying. After dinner, they had cake, and then it was present opening time. Nonna had made Frank several pairs of new scrubs in this awesome fabric with little cute skulls on it. This was when Frank got his best scrubs. She also, shockingly, gave him a gift certificate for his favorite tattoo shop.

“I may not like those things, bambino...but you tell the story of your life with them, so who am I to judge?” she said.

“Grazie, Nonna,” Frank smiled at her. He had been itching for a new tattoo his life of late too.

“Okay, Frankie...our present now,” Mikey stood up. “Gee and I will go get it,”

 _“You’re gonna love it, Frankie!”_ Gerard shook in his seat a bit, barely able to wait to see the look on Frank’s face when he’s soon to open up his new Fender. Frank watched as Gerard wheeled out with Mikey and then returned with a large and long wrapped box on his lap.

“What the fu...uh…,” Frank looked at his Nonna and mouthed sorry.

“It’s okay, bambino. I won’t slap you on your birthday,”

 **“Open it, Frankie!”** Gerard demanded.

Frank reached over and pulled the box into his lap. It was heavy on one side. He looked at Gerard and Mikey as he gasped.

“You didn’t…,”

 **“We did!”** Gerard smiled.

Frank tore at the paper and gasped at the cardboard box and it’s writing underneath. He couldn’t believe it was finally in his hands, just for him. He knew just what it was.

“Holy fuck you guys!”

He ripped the box open and then pulled the bubble-wrapped item out. Frank dropped to his knees as he gently laid the gift on the floor. He could see the shine from the white body through the plastic covering. He carefully opened it up and then, in front of him and gleaming in the evening light, was the Fender guitar he had been admiring for years. Frank was at a loss for words.  
**“Well? What’s the verdict?”** Gerard asked.

“The verdict is that you guys suck so much and I hate you both,” Frank replied jokingly. Tears were streaming down his face. He touched the body of his prized possession lightly. “I can’t believe you went and did this. I mean...how...why…,”

**“Because you deserve it, Frankie,”**

Frank got up and hugged Gerard, first being careful of the wires, tubes, and his computer. He kisses his cheek, making him blush a bit.

“Thank you, Gee,” Frank whispered to him. He then moved and pulled Mikey into a bone-crushing hug that lifted him off the ground.

“Frank, you’re crushing me!” Mikey grunted, Gerard beside him laughing a little under his unmovable lips. Frank turned to kiss Mikey on the cheek, but Mikey turned at the last minute and got his lips instead, time around them seeming to be put on pause. Gerard gasped. Did they really just do what he thought they just did? Yes, they did...they fucking kissed! Gerard felt something inside of him when he saw his brother’s lips collide with his beloved caregiver, something he’s felt before...it was jealousy. They look so happy together. After all, Gerard was sure Frank would undoubtedly choose to be with someone able-bodied, rather than someone unable to take care of himself. Gerard frowned inside, wishing he could be so worthy and in Mikey’s place. His whole world around him was crashing down in front of him, along with his high hopes and dreams.

“Oh god...I’m sorry!” Frank let go of Mikey so fast that he dropped him. “Shit, sorry...I...I’ll be…,”

Frank ran out of the kitchen. Mikey looked up from the floor, the event that just took place barely sinking into his head.

“What just happened?” he asked. Gerard sighed, staying silent. He shook his head, his eyes full of envious discontent.

“I think my grandson is having a panic attack,” Rosalie said worriedly. Mikey gasped, running right to Frank’s aid. Gerard, being unable to do the same, sat still as the love he could never have fell apart. A single tear ran down his eye as he turned away and retired to his room, wishing he could slam the door and never come out.

“Frank, look at me,” Mikey held on to Frank, both his hands on the shaking boy’s shoulders. Frank was shaking so hard that he thought he was going to bring the wall down.

“I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I…,” he stuttered.

“Frank, listen to me!” Mikey raised his voice a bit, his grip firm. “You’re okay, just breathe!”

“Ch-ch-ch-che-e-e-ated-d-d-d-d…,”

“Frank, please! Stop it! Calm down...please! Frank, stop it!” Mikey screamed, feeling himself starting to panic as much as Frank. Giving in, he pulled Frank into an embrace, holding him tightly as his body shook.

“He hates me! He fucking hates me!” Frank blurted out, and then passed out in Mikey’s arms.

“No he doesn’t, Frank! What makes you…,”

Mikey was at a loss. He couldn’t ask Gerard for help because...Mikey shook his head of that thought. Maybe he couldn’t help Frank physically, but he might know what Frank was babbling about. Mikey carefully put Frank in his bed and closed the door. He went back to the kitchen to find his brother.

“Where’s Gerard?”

Rosalie looked at Mikey and pointed down the hall. Mikey went to Gerard’s room, knocking on the door that was already open. He wanted to still show common courtesy, despite all that had just taken place. He walked in quietly.

“Gee? Can you…,”

Mikey saw that Gerard was on the balcony. He was looking out into the October night sky. Mikey could hear kids running around house to house and laughing down below, trick-or-treating in their colorful costumes. Mikey walked over and put a hand on Gerard’s shoulder.

“Gerard?”

 **“Frank…,”** the machine said as tears ran down Gerard’s face.

“No, Gee. It’s Mikey. I can get you...well, no I can’t, because he passed out. But...I mean, I can try to help you. Pretty sure I can work the hoyer lift okay to get you in bed,”

**“Just leave me alone, Mikey,”**

“Why, Gee? What’s wrong? I don’t understand! You and Frank are both freaking me out!”

 **“I said leave me alone! I don’t wanna talk!”** Gerard visibly shook in his seat as his breathing grew heavier with rage.

“Fine! I’m gone then! You don’t wanna talk, and Frank is making no sense! Some fucking birthday this is!” Mikey growled. He stormed across the room and out the door, slamming it.

The last thing Gerard wanted to do was talk to anyone, especially Mikey. Why did he get so lucky? Why does he get to be with Frank while Gerard sits there and suffers? Why does Gerard get taken advantage of and raped, while Mikey gets to live a normal and healthy life? It just wasn’t fair. Why him? What did he do to deserve all this? Why can’t the disease just kill him off now? It’s not like no one would care, anyway. At least he’d be dead and gone, so no one would have to put up and deal with his useless and suffering self. Gerard told himself all of this as he broke down, his sobs blocking out the sounds of the laughing and running children down below. He hadn’t cried this hard since that day he learned he was ruined by the hands of Marco, and he hoped that this day would be the last day he’d cry. Maybe he would get lucky and die tonight.


	11. Stuck On A Little Hot Mess

Gerard had cried for the longest time until he couldn’t anymore. He was so drained that his eyes couldn’t secrete any more tears. He hated how much his eyes and face stung from all the crying he’s been doing. He couldn’t bear to face Mikey or Frank, though; not after all that’s happened.

“So, do you think I should leave?” Rosalie asked, shuffling into Gerard’s bedroom. “Your brother has left and my grandson seems to be sleeping,”

Gerard would have told Rosalie to get out, but in all honesty, she did nothing wrong. Maybe he needs to talk to someone after all. The more he seemed to bottle it up, the more he felt his rage eat at him. It shouldn’t hurt to talk to Frank’s grandmother.

_“I’m sorry, Rosalie. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I wish I could have been able to help Frank…,”_

Rosalie walked over to the balcony. She leaned out and looked at the view of the setting sun.

“You two must have some interesting talks from up here, huh?” she said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. “Don’t tell Frankie,” she winked at him as she inhaled and blew out the smoke.

_“I won’t,”_

“So tell me…,” Rosalie started, taking another drag. “...how long have you been in love with my grandson, Gerard?”

 _“What?”_ Gerard’s eyes widened, the machine unable to match the amount of shock he’d have in his voice, had he been able to speak. _“How did you know?”_

“Oh, don’t be so surprised. These old bones have been around the block a time or two and seen some crazy shit. I know a man in love when I see one. Doesn’t Frank know?”

_“I...I don’t think so…,”_

“So he doesn’t know you love him...and now your brother likes him too. Relax, Gerard. I don’t think he has liked him for very long. In fact, I would say it has been about...three or four months, at most,”

_“But I’ve liked Frank since high school, to be honest. I always found him...so beautiful,”_

“Gerard, that was almost ten years ago. Why did you never say anything?”

_“Because...I’ve always been too scared to do so. I never knew if he’d like me back. I was afraid how he’d react if I told him. By the time I did finally get the courage to ask him...it was already too late, because I was diagnosed with this goddamn disease,”_

“What does that have to do with anything, Gerard? If you liked him, you should have said something. It might have been you instead of that Ryan fellow he was with...well, not so much of a fellow anymore, is he? It is amazing what a nip and a tuck can do nowadays,”

_“I know, and I regret not saying anything. Now I really don’t have a chance with him...not when I’m like...this…,”_

“Did you even try, Gerard? Did you even tell him?”

_“I think that with how I have been with him that he should have at least taken a hint. I have kissed him before…,”_

“Oh, my dear boy. I never said he didn’t feel the same….well, I guess it cannot be the same if he never knew your feelings,”

_“I’m such an idiot. I knew I should have said something before it was too late!”_

“You still can, you know. My Frankie is not superficial, and a physical relationship has no bearing on the heart,”

_“You know...you have a good point there. I still wish I could have at least had something like that with him before... well, this happened to me…,”_

“It’s not too late, you know. You are still here, and so is he,”

_“You think I should tell him? You don’t think it’s too late, Rosalie?”_

“Unless you have a reason not to. Unless you can think of another reason that would hold your declaration back,”

Gerard had to tell Frank. It was either now or never. He didn’t just like Frank...he loved him, and he wanted him to know that he meant it from the bottom of his heart, crippled or not. His clock was ticking, though. How was he gonna tell him, and when?

 _“Thanks, Rosalie. I really appreciate your help. I’m gonna tell him when the time is right. I’ll go check up on him and make sure he’s okay,”_ Gerard smiled a bit. He heard the sound of the door open. It was Mikey.

“You know what, Gerard? Fuck you. I can’t believe that you are that selfish of a friend, that you would rather sulk and be a little bitch than find out what is wrong with Frank!” he snarled. He stormed out of the room, not even noticing that Rosalie was there. He went to Frank’s room and saw the man shivering on the bed. He put the care package down that he had picked up for him.

“Hey, Frankie? Frankie…,” Mikey called out, shaking Frank a bit.

“Hmm?” Frank mumbled, sleepily opening up his eyes.

“Come on, Frankie. You need to hydrate now,” Mikey pulled out the Gatorade and opened it, placing a straw inside. He placed it in between Frank’s lips. “Drink a little, please?”

Frank managed to take a few sips that satisfied him. Then, Mikey closed the bottle again and placed it on the nightstand. He then climbed onto the bed and laid on the other side of Frank, pulling the covers up over him. Frank shivered and whimpered a bit.

“Shh, I got you, Frankie. You’re safe and loved,” Mikey whispered to Frank, carding his fingers through Frank’s hair til he settled down again.

“I’m sorry, Mikey...I didn’t know how that all happened. I didn’t...I just…,” Frank sighed deeply. “I feel pathetic…,”  
“You are anything but pathetic, Frank. You are amazing and you have been so good to me and my brother for the last six months….I don’t know what I...sorry, we, would do without you,”

Frank smiled, knowing he’s held in a special place in both Mikey and Gerard’s hearts. Speaking of Gerard…

“How’s Gerard? Is he okay? He’s not mad at me, is he?”

“I don’t know what his problem is, but right now I am not concerned about him. You are all I am worried about right now,” Mikey turned Frank’s face gently towards him. “You need to take better care of yourself Frankie, for me...please?” Mikey meant to say we, but he ended up speaking from his heart instead.

“I’ll try, Mikey...I’ll try,”

“Thanks, Frankie,” Mikey smiled as he caressed Frank’s face.

“You’re welcome, Mikes. I think I feel better now…,”

“Good,” Mikey smiled brightly.

“I’m gonna go check up on Gerard,” Frank stood up and stretched from his bed. Mikey was a little surprised at Frank’s reaction. He backpeddled a bit, ignoring his heart.

“Oh...alright,” Mikey got up. “Go talk to Gee,”

“Alrighty then,” Frank left the room, and Mikey sighed.

“I am truly a fool,” he said. He left Frank’s room for his own. Frank walked down the hall and into Gerard’s room, where he found him and Rosalie out on the balcony together.

“Hey, guys,”

“Hey, bambino. Feeling better?” Rosalie asked.

“Yeah, much better,”

“Good. Well, I will take my leave then,” Rosalie kissed Gerard on the head, and then Frank. “Happy birthday again,” she said. She then gathered her coat and left. Frank walked up to Gerard.

“It’s cold, Gee. Come inside, okay?”

Gerard visibly nodded, doing just that. This is it. This is his chance...and he felt like he was gonna explode.

 _“Frank…,”_ Gerard started, his whole body visibly shaking.

“Oh man, Gee. Let’s get you in bed,” Frank says, going into caregiver mode.

_“Frank...I have to tell you something….Something very important,”_

“Sure, Gee...but let’s get you in bed first and warm you up,”

 _“No, Frank. I need to tell you now. I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a very long time,”_ Gerard began to shake more and more in his seat as he typed the words into the computer with his watering eyes.

“Please, Gee...I don’t want you getting sick and…,”

 _“I...I love you, Frank. I always have since high school. I know I should have said something earlier, but...I was always too scared. You are so fucking beautiful that I wish I can take these useless arms of mine and hold you. All those kids at school? They picked on you...but I was there. I didn’t care what they thought of you. I fucking loved you, and I still do. I really do, Frank…,”_ Gerard broke down, loudly sobbing through his barely moveable lips as tears ran down his eyes. _“I love you, Frank!”_

“Gee…,” Frank looked at his best friend of almost ten years. He smiled as he ducked his head in and kissed him. “I love you too, Gee...and I have for a long time,”

 _“Really?”_ Gerard looked up, his eyes raw with tears. He felt a pang in his chest when Frank kissed him. It’s a kiss he felt from the heart.

“Yes, Gee,” Frank nodded. Outside, Mikey stood in the hallway, listening to Frank and Gerard. He was an ass. How could he even think about Frank as anything more than a friend when his brother was dying? He tried to take the man that his brother had fantasized about for years. He was a piece of shit. He needed to get away. Quickly, he went into his room and packed a bag. He would stay in a hotel or with a friend; just get away so that they could have time together. He then walked into the hallway like he was talking on the phone just a little too loud.

“Yeah, no that sounds great! When do you get in?” he spoke in a pretending manner on his phone. “Sweet, I can make it. Alright, see you in a bit. Yeah, me too, man,” he hung up. He took a breath and stopped at Gerard’s door, knocking on the doorframe.

“Hey, Mikes. You alright?” Frank asked, turning up from Gerard to face Mikey at the door.

“Hey, so an old friend from school just called. He flown in for the week and wants to hang out, so you guys have a good night, alright? You got the kitchen, Frank?”

 _“Mikey…,”_ Gerard looked up at his brother, still feeling hurt by what he told him earlier. _“I...I’m sorry. The way I acted earlier was childish and I should have known better,”_

“Mikey? Everything okay?” Frank asked, already skeptical of the way Mikey seems to be acting. Something wasn’t right.

“Sure it is! You guys have fun, okay? Gee, you should draw Frank with his guitar. Bet it would look sick with his new scrubs...no pun intended,” Mikey said, laughing a little forcefully. “Alright, guys. Catch you later,”

Mikey breezed through the house with his suitcase and out the door. Frank looked at where Mikey just was, and then back at Gerard.

“Did that seem weird to you or what?”

 _“Yeah, it did. Mikey’s mad at me…,”_ Gerard frowned.

“I don’t think so, Gee. He didn’t seem mad. I guess we can ask when he gets back. Besides...I had more important things to do than worry about your brother,” Frank said, turning back to Gerard and caressing his face. There was something familiar about the motion, but he brushed it away. Gerard sighed, deciding to brush off how Mikey was towards him earlier when he called him out. Maybe Mikey really did need some space from him.

 _“You know something, Frank?”_ Gerard asked. _“I never had a boyfriend...or even a girlfriend. Not one. But when I first saw you back in high school...I wanted to make you all mine,”_

“Well, I am all yours now, Gee. Come on, let’s get you in bed now,”

_“Can you do me a favor before we do that?”_

“Anything, baby. What does your little heart desire?”

 _“Can you...kiss me again, Frankie?”_ Gerard smiled. Frank did the same in return and leaned in.

*

*

*

Frank woke up yawning and stretching to find that he was not alone. He then remembered last night and smiled. He turned and snuggled into the warm body next to him.

“Morning, baby. Did you sleep well?”

 _“Slept like a baby,”_ Gerard grinned.

“I’m glad,” Frank reached down and laced his fingers with Gerard’s.

_“You’re so warm,”_

“I’ve been told I am a natural furnace. Great to cuddle with on cold winter nights,” Frank smiled. Gerard laughed a bit as he stared up at his love in awe. This is it. Frank is now all his...and he fucking loved it. Just then, Frank’s stomach made a very unsexy noise and he laughed. “Some things you just can’t avoid, huh?” He kissed Gerard’s nose and then got out of the hospital bed and headed to the bathroom. At that moment, Frank’s cell phone rang. He picked it up and saw Mikey’s name on the caller ID.

“Hey, Mikes. What’s up...oh, wait...are you still out? You never came home? Someone get lucky last night with your ‘old school pal’?” Frank asked as he did air quotes, even though Mikey couldn’t see them.

“Frank…,” Mikey sighed. “Please tell Gerard that...I’m the one that should be sorry. I lashed out at him when you had your panic attack, and it was childish of me,”

“It’s okay, Mikey. He knows you mean well. Hey, sorry to cut you off, but...I was kind of on my way to drain the lizard. Here, talk to Gee,” Frank said as he popped the phone on speaker and laid it on the nightstand next to Gerard’s bed and computer, and then hurried to the bathroom.

“Hey, Gee…,” Mikey started.

_“Hey, Mikey,”_

“Hey, um...I guess I can say it straight to you now. Sorry about the way I acted last night. I think I was just overwhelmed, you know?”

 _“It’s okay, Mikey. The way I acted was out of line. I wish there was some way I was able to help Frank, but…,”_ Gerard frowned internally, knowing that he could physically do nothing to help Frank, despite all that Frank does for him.

“No, no. It was wrong of me no matter what. So, how are you and Frank?”

_“We’re great, thank you. Yourself?”_

“Good! Had a lot of fun last night,”

_“Oh, really? With who? What did you guys do?”_

“With Ray from school. Yeah, he had a business meeting and decided to hook up with me. We hit a bar and then hung out in his hotel room,”

_“Oh, that’s nice. Tell Ray I said hi,”_

“I will, Gee. We are going out to breakfast now, so I will call you later,”

_“Okay. Have a good one,”_

“You too. Bye,” Mikey hung up as Frank walked back from the bathroom.

“What did your brother have to say?” he asked.

_“He’s hanging out with Ray. They’re going to go out for breakfast,”_

“Wait...Ray? As in...Ray Toro?” Frank furrowed his brow. Something was not right. Mikey told something Gerard he and Frank don’t wanna know…

_“Yeah, from high school. Remember?”_

“Gee…,” Frank sighed. “Ray is married and is a stay at home dad. He lives in Florida, where his wife is a nurse,”

_“Oh...really? Mikey said Ray had a business meeting and decided to hook up with him,”_

“What? That doesn’t sound right…,”

 _“That’s what Mikey said. What’s wrong?”_ Gerard asked, feeling a pang of worry in his chest.

“Gee, think about it. Ray doesn’t have a job. He had no meeting. Mikey is lying,”

 _“Oh...you know what? You’re right! Why didn’t I think of that? I swear, my memory is getting worse every day!”_ Gerard said, wanting to facepalm himself if his arms had the mobility.

“Don’t worry about it, baby. It’s not your fault,” Frank walked over to Gerard and kissed him. “How about a sponge bath to make you feel better?”

_“I’d love that, Frankie. I just hope Mikey is okay…,”_

“I’m sure he’s fine. You are what matters now,”

_“Are you sure?” Gerard blushed._

“Positive. Besides…,” Frank pressed his face into Gerard’s neck. “I love seeing you blush,”

 _“Oh, you’re getting me all hot and bothered now!”_ Gerard laughed internally, wishing he still really could to express his pleasure.

“Am I now?” Frank smirked into the soft pale skin. He nibbled at it lightly.

_“Yes...baby,”_

“Well then, I guess I have to cool you down, huh?”

_“Please do,”_

Frank peppered more kisses on Gerard, then pulled away to gather the supplies for Gerard’s bath. In the back of his head, Mikey was nagging him, but Frank’s top priority was Gerard.

* * *

Gerard laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling as he recalled every fleeting moment of what Frank did to him, as well as what he did last night. He touched him the same way Marco did, but this was different. It wasn’t out of malicious intentions. It was out of something called genuine love. Gerard may not be able to physically feel Frank’s touch anymore, since his nerves have slowly been deteriorating, but he could still feel it all from the heart. He still felt comforted by Frank’s tender and loving touch, despite the progression of this disease.

“Hey there, beautiful. How are you doing?” Frank asked, returning from his shower. He carefully cleaned up and changed Gerard first and replaced his catheter. It still surprised Gerard how much it didn’t bother Frank at all.

_“I’m fine. And you?”_

Frank chuckled and kissed Gerard before helping him get dressed and upright into his chair, transferring him from the bed with the hoyer lift.

“You always sound like you are talking on the phone when I ask you that. Simple and easy answers,” Frank leaned in and kissed Gerard again. “Now tell me, Gee...how do you really feel?”

 _“I…,”_ Gerard paused, internally frowning. He had to tell him the truth. _“I wish I could feel you,”_

“I’m sorry baby, but...even though you can’t feel me on your skin, your heart can because I can feel it racing inside your chest, and it excites me even more,”

_“Does it really?”_

“Yeah it does, and that’s why I will never stop touching you,”

 _“Kiss me, you animal,”_ Gerard smiled a bit with whatever muscles he could, even though on the inside, he was smiling from ear to ear. Frank smiled and did just that, planting a kiss on Gerard’s lips.

* * *

Mikey way was drunk. Mikey Way was drunk before noon on a beautiful Sunday morning in his hotel room. He was watching the Hallmark channel crying over Christmas romances that they already started playing in the start of November. It was cliché and disgusting, but he didn’t care. It was a life he was never going to have. He finished off the bottle of wine and opened the next.

“To my brother and Frank, may they have a great life togetherrrrrrrr,” he sang sloppily. He passed out on the bed, spilling red wine all over the white brocade bed cover.


	12. Well I Find It Hard To Stay With The Words You Say

“Man, one day after October and it’s cold as fuck!” Frank exclaimed. He finished his cigarette quickly and then stubbed it out. He closed the sliding glass door to the balcony and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to warm up quickly. “You should stay wrapped up today too, Gee. I’m gonna turn up the heat a bit,”

_ “You poor thing, shaking like a leaf!”  _ Gerard frowned.

“Yeah, I’m gonna throw on a sweater and reheat some soup,”

_ “How’s Mikey? Have you talked to him at all recently?” _

“Not since this morning,” Frank yelled from the kitchen, turning on the stove and pouring some leftover soup in a pot.

_ “You think I can call him? I wanna make sure he’s okay,” _

“Yeah, I can do that for you, just let me finish up with the stove,”

_ “Okay,”  _ Gerard said. He really missed Mikey, even though it’s only been a day. He just wished he’s okay.

“All done,” Frank said to himself. He turned off the stove and then grabbed his phone. He dialed Mikey’s number, but it went right to voicemail. “Hmm. That’s weird,”

_ “What’s wrong, Frankie?” _

“Mikey isn’t picking up and it’s going straight to voicemail,”

_ “That is weird…,”  _ Gerard felt a pang in his chest, already feeling worried for his baby brother.

“Yeah...hey, do you guys have a GPS on your phones?”

_ “I’m not sure,” _

“I’m gonna guess yes, because no offense...but with you guys being...ya know, financially loaded, you can afford the best,”

_ “No offense taken, baby. I’m sure we can track him,” _

“Okay, so let me get you settled for the night just in case I have to leave, but we can stay in contact with my phone,” Frank said as he got himself dressed, thinking of everything.

_ “If I’m gonna be alone...who’s gonna take care of me?”  _ Gerard asked.

“Gee, you know I will always take care of you. I will make sure you are a hundred percent okay before I leave...unless you don’t want me to find him,”

_ “I do want you to find him. I’m worried for him. I wanna make sure my brother is safe!” _

“Trust me baby, okay? I would never let anything happen to you,”

_ _ _

“Frankie, I’m here,” Rosalie knocked on the door. Frank opened it up and greeted her.

“Thank you for coming, Nonna. I will be back as soon as I can,” he said.

“I know you will, bambino...but what will you do then?”

“Nonna?”

“They both like you…,”

Frank stilled and then thought about everything in the last 24 hours. He was so blinded by his duty to his best friend and then his declaration to him that he failed to notice Mikey’s own non-verbal one.

“Oh, Nonna…I’m in a fool’s paradise,”

“Yes, but my son didn’t raise a fool, so you will do what’s right,”

“I will. Take care of Gee for me please,”

“I will, bambino. Now go,”

“Will do,” Frank kissed Rosalie and then walked out the door.

“Gerard?” Rosalie called out.

_ “Yes, Frankie?” _ Gerard looked up from a book he was reading on his device, sitting in his wheelchair.

“Sorry, sweetie. It’s me,” Rosalie said, shuffling into Gerard’s bedroom. “Frankie asked me to keep you company while he finds your brother,”

_ “Oh, right...sorry,” _

“No need to apologize, dear,” the older woman came in and sat in the chair. “So, how was your night?”

_ “I couldn’t sleep very well…,”  _ Gerard frowned, looking back at the night spent constantly waking up in a cold sweat, worrying over his absent brother.

“According to my grandson, you were pretty well taken care of...and so was your heart,”

_ “He always knows how to take care of me. I don’t know how he does it. I’m just worried about my baby brother. He’s never been gone for this long,” _

“He is a bit of a mess, isn’t he? But then again, he doesn’t have Frank like you, does he?”

_ “Nope,” _

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Rosalie asked as she got up and headed to the balcony. She opened up door, letting the cold evening breeze in and lit up her cigarette. “Knowing that someone is always there for you; that you can turn to them when you are feeling sad and they will give you a shoulder to cry on,”

“I know. I’m very thankful knowing that,” Gerard wheeled himself out on the balcony.  _ “I really am,” _

“Mmm, so you have Frankie…,” Rosalie takes another drag and leans on the railing, looking at the night sky. “...who does your brother have?”

_ “Well...I know he has Frank to depend on. They always seemed to have good chemistry with each other,” _

“They do, don’t they?” She took a last drag and finished off the cigarette, dropping it into the ash can.

_ “I swear they’re like two peas in a pod, Ro. They get along so well. It’s like they’re more of brothers than friends…,”  _ Gerard stopped, taking in what he just said. It is true. It’s like Mikey and Frank were meant for each other, he thought. It’s almost like...they’re meant to be…

“You forgot that your brother has you too, sweetie. I just worry about when you are gone. He seems strong, but the strong can also have a glass jaw, and one shot is all it takes for them to fall,” Rosalie stepped off the balcony. “I’m gonna make myself some tea. Would you like to watch a movie with me, Gerard?”

_ “Sure, that would be great,” _

“Wonderful, I will see you out there then,” Rosalie said as she left Gerard’s room, leaving Gerard alone with his thoughts. It hasn’t even been two hours since Frank has been gone, and he already misses him dearly, as well as his baby brother.

_ _ _

Frank knocked on the door and stood in front of the room that Mikey was staying in. He waited for an answer, but none came. Frank was clever though. He had managed to get another key card by using Mikey’s old ID card. The guy hardly glanced at it and back to Frank, and Mikey had the same hair style. After waiting a few more minutes he opened the door and went in.  
“Mikes?” Frank called out.

It was a nice hotel room as expected of the Ways. It had a sunken living room with a fireplace and the bedroom was closed off by a door through the bathroom. Frank crossed through and knocked on the bedroom door.  
“Mikey?”  
Still no answer. He opened the door and gasped at the sight. There were empty wine bottles everywhere. Enough for a small party. Mikey was on the bed passed out with what looked like a full bottle spilled out over him along with whatever else he had ingested. The room reeked of vomit.  
“Jesus, Mikey!”  
Frank walked over and tapped his face lightly. Mikey groaned, but didn’t open his eyes. Frank collected the bottles and moved them so he wouldn’t trip. He then went into the bathroom and started to fill the large tub with warm water. Once that was done he stripped down to his boxers and then went back to Mikey. Frank had gotten stronger carrying patients around, so lifting Mikey was nothing. He stripped him and then put him back on the bed. He went back to the bathroom and turned the water off. He then carried Mikey into the bathroom and placed him in the tub. He got in behind him and started to rinse him off.  
“Come on Mikes, wake up for me.” Frank called to him. Mikey started to stir a bit. “That’s it, come on Mikes.”  
Frank had moved the trash can to the edge of the tub knowing that Mikey might have to throw up again or most likely pee from the warmth of the water. Sure enough as he came to, he started to tighten his stomach. Frank grabbed the can and Mikey emptied himself into it. He then maneuvered Mikey to kneel up more, and like clockwork, Mikey relieved himself into the same can. When he was done Frank laid a towel over it to contain the smell slightly. He then went back to helping Mikey wake up fully.  
“W-Where am I?”  
“You are in a hotel with that famous Way stupidity that you and your brother inherited in spades,”  
“F-F-Frankie?”  
“Yup, I’m here.”  
“W-Where’s Gee, why aren’t you with h-him?”  
“Cause I need to be here. Gee is being taken care of, and now you need to be,”  
“No, he needs you, he loves you, you should be with him and…”  
Frank pours water over Mikey’s mouth and then kisses him to quiet him. Just a simple peck.  
“Shut up, you need love too.”  
“I don’t, I don’t deserve it, Gee needs you more and…”  
“Mikey, stop it. You have both of us. I can be your friend and be your brother’s boyfriend. I don’t have to choose between you.”  
“Right…sure, I was being silly again.”  
“Now, let’s get you cleaned up and dressed and get home, cause he is worried about you.”  
“Alright.”  
Frank gets out of the tub and grabs a towel. He helps Mikey out and dries him off. He gets dressed and runs down to the car and grabs the emergency pair of scrubs that he keeps in the trunk. He helps Mikey dress in them and then they head home.

_ _ _

_ “Mikey! Where the hell have you been?!”  _ Gerard’s machine exclaimed in that computerized and monotone voice, Gerard’s face full of worry.  _ “I was worried sick about you!” _

“Sorry, Gee. I’m back now,” Mikey sighed, walking through the front door with Frank.

_ “I missed you, big brother...don’t you ever scare me like that again!”  _ the computerized voice yelled again.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Mikey replied. He kissed Gerard’s cheek and then headed to his room.

_ “Where are you going?”  _ Gerard asked, wheeling behind him.

“I’m tired. I had a rough day. I just wanna sleep,”

_ “Oh...alright, Mikey,”  _ Gerard replied.  _ “I just really missed you,” _

“I know. I missed you too,” Mikey said as he disappeared into his room. Frank walked beside Gerard after he shut and locked the front door.

“You alright, Gee?” Frank asked, walking up to Gerard.

_ “Yeah...I’m fine,”  _ Gerard frowned.

“You don’t seem fine. Come on baby, let’s get you to bed. We can snuggle and I’ll read to you,”

_ “Okay,”  _ Gerard smiled a bit, despite the concern for his brother that’s been missing for far too long.

“Well, you two seem to be alright, so I will take my leave then,” Rosalie said, shuffling up to Frank.

“Grazie, Nonna,” Frank replied, smiling.

“Anytime, bambino,” Rosalie said, then turned to Gerard. “Gerard, you keep in mind what we spoke of,”

_ “Okay. See you later,” _

“Bye, guys,” Rosalie said as she kissed both Frank and Gerard, then left out the door. Frank turned to Gerard, curious.

“What was she talking about, Gee?” he asked, following Gerard into his bedroom. He stripped off his clothing, revealing he had no boxers on.

_ “Oh...nothing,”  _ Gerard replied hesitantly.  _ “Just...how she was worried for Mikey,” _

“I am too. Maybe now that he knows you are taken care of, he will think it is okay to go out and find someone to be with,” Frank said as he helped Gerard into bed. He grabbed a fresh pair of boxers and slipped them on. Then he remembered his wet ones and Mikey’s soiled clothing. “I’ll be right back, baby. I have to start a quick load of laundry,” he said as he kissed Gerard and left.

_ “Okay, Frankie,”  _ Gerard blushed, watching Frank leave. He thought long and hard about what he and Rosalie talked about while Frank and Mikey were gone. In a way, they’re like brothers, like best friends. They have both worked so hard to take care of someone as difficult as Gerard with ease...at least, almost with ease. On top of that, they’ve always been there for each other, just like how they’ve been there for him. It’s like they’re more than friends. It’s like they were meant for each other.

“Hey, baby,” Frank said, walking back in Gerard’s room after finishing laundry.

_ “Hey, Frank,” _

“How is Gee doing?” Frank asked, crawling into bed with Gerard and kissing him lightly. “Did you miss me?”

_ “I sure did,” _

“Good,” Frank said, pulling out a copy of The Shining by Stephen King from the bookshelf next to Gerard’s bed. He opened up the book to the chapter where they left off at. “Let’s see...we were on chapter seven,”

_ _ _

“Sorry guys, but you have fun! Bye!” Mikey said as he left out the front door. Frank sighed deeply. It was the third time this week Mikey made other plans and blew off Frank and Gerard.

_ “Again?”  _ Gerard sighed. He knew something was up.  _ “Mikey has never been one to leave this often,” _

“I know, it’s just...he’s been like this since two weeks ago, and I think it’s getting out of hand. I’m waiting to see if he blows us off for Christmas next,”

_ “I hope he doesn’t. I feel like we need to sit down and talk to him. This is getting ridiculous,” _

“How about we just sit and listen to Christmas music and look at the lights, Gee,” Frank sighed. He had no interest in watching a family movie now.

_ “Okay, Frankie,” _

Frank sat with his boyfriend trying to relax, but it was not working. He was worried about Mikey. He wondered if it was more than he should, but quickly dismissed it. Mikey was Gerard’s brother, so of course he was worried about him. Frank sighed again and began to sing along some Rosemary Clooney to Gerard as he carded his fingers through Gerard’s hair. Gerard soon shut his eyes and fell asleep, and Frank left a kiss on his forehead.

_ _ _

“Shh, you have me! Fuck me!” Mikey cursed as he stumbled drunkenly over the coffee table. The guy with him laughed.

“Clumsy fuck,” he said.

“I’ll show you a clumsy fuck!” Mikey yelled. The guy with him laughed as Mikey dragged him into his room.

“Where are we going?” the equally as drunk man asked.

“You, my friend, are a one way ticket to paradise,” Mikey laughed with the man, shutting the door.

_ _ _

Gerard opened his eyes, hearing a commotion going on in the other room as Frank snored lightly next to him. Heard it coming from Mikey’s room. He already knew what was happening when he heard a series of moans and bangs against the wall from the headboard. Gerard wished he could get his ass outta bed and call out Mikey for his behavior, and embarrass the hell out of his partner, but all he could do was sit and listen to everything take place. He couldn’t even scream to tell him to pipe down. He sighed deeply in his head, hoping that the commotion doesn’t keep him out throughout the night.

_ _ _

Frank woke up with a bad taste in his mouth and a headache. He got up carefully to not disturb Gerard and made his way to the bathroom. He cracked the door and peeked through it, hearing a commotion from beyond it.

“Hey, buddy. Take a picture. It lasts longer,” he heard a strange man say. Frank closed the door and went back to the bedroom.

“Hey, Gee...there’s a strange guy in the bathroom,”

_ “I know...Mikey brought him back,” _ Gerard said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh...so that pounding wasn’t just in my head, huh?”

_ “No...it wasn’t,” _

“Ugh….He needs to get out of there so I can piss and get something for my head,”

_ “Go yell at him, why don’t you?” _

At that point, the front door slammed. Frank looked out of the room toward the front door, then back to Gerard and shrugged.

“Guess he was just a fuck and run,”

_ “I knew it was that all along,” _

“Do you think Mikey knows he is gone yet?” Frank asked.

_ “I’m not sure,” _

“I’ll go check...after I piss,” Frank sighed, getting up again.

_ “Okay, Frankie,” _

Frank kissed Gerard and left the bedroom. He hit the bathroom quickly, popped a couple painkillers, and then went to Mikey’s room. He knocked on the door. Hearing no answer, he opened it up.

“Hey, Mikes...uh…,”

The bedroom was a mess and so was the bed. Mikey was sprawled out of bed naked with his ass exposed. Something was written on it.

_ Call me _

_ Love, Cal _

A phone number was under the words. Frank had the urge to grab a cloth and scrub it away. He left the room and returned to Gerard.

_ “Well? What happened?” _

“Uh...Mikey is still asleep,” Frank said reluctantly. He didn’t wanna mention the asshole’s calling card written on his brother’s ass.

_ “Oh...okay then,” _

“Come on, baby. You need a bath today and I have to get your meds this morning,” Frank said after he looked at the time on Gerard’s alarm clock--it was past nine, which was around the time Gerard normally gets up to start his day. Even if Gerard’s medications were all intravenous now, Frank still tried to treat them the same as pills, due to Gerard’s intense fear of needles.

_ “Okay, honey. You know my medications are not pills, right?”  _ Gerard asked, to which Frank rolled his eyes.

“You know, you’re lucky I love you, cause no one else would get your cheesy sense of humor,”

_ “I know, Frankie. I know,”  _ Gerard laughed.

Frank went to grab what he needed for Gerard’s bath. He heard a groan come from Mikey’s bedroom, but chose to ignore it. He returned to his boyfriend in the bedroom.


	13. Turn Away, Cause I'm Awful Just To See

It was now nearly Christmas, and Mikey had slept with more men than he could count on both hands. He never saw them again either; all just mindless faces and cocks. Sometimes he fucked them, sometimes they fucked him. He didn’t care either way, he was numb. He stumbled home after another one night stand to find Frank in the living room, sipping on a cup of coffee.

“Mikey, it’s the twenty-third. Were you planning to fuck or get fucked tomorrow and Christmas too?” Frank asked coldly.

“Of course not, Frankie,” Mikey replied defensively.

“Just checking,” Frank got up and headed to the kitchen after finishing up his coffee. He placed the mug in the sink. “You know your brother is worried about you,”

“Yeah, well he has you, so you can tell him not to worry about me so much,”

“Are you kidding me?” Frank snapped as he spun around and marched up to Mikey. “What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, Frank...nothing at all,” Mikey walked away from Frank and ambled down the hall. Frank growled and rushed to him, pinning him against the wall.

“Now listen here, you piece of shit! That man in there, your brother is fucking dying! We don’t even know if he will make it to his next birthday, and here you are whoring it up every week!”

“He doesn’t need me anymore, he has you!” Mikey yelled as he tried to push off Frank, but was too weak and drunk.

“I’m not his brother!” Frank yelled back.

“Yeah, well you’re not my boyfriend either, so get the fuck off me!” Mikey screamed. He found the strength and pushed Frank away. He slapped his face and then stormed into his room, slamming the door shut. Frank stood there stunned. He didn’t know what to do. He just hoped that Gerard didn’t hear anything.

_ “Mikey? Frank?”  _ Gerard called out, much to Frank’s dismay. He knew Gerard heard every last word that had been uttered. Frank sighed, walking into Gerard’s bedroom.

“Hey, Gee. Sorry about that. Mikey just got home, and…,”

_ “I know. I heard everything, Frank,” _

“Oh...sorry,” Frank frowned. “I just...I didn’t think I hurt him, I just was trying to get through to him, you know?”

_ “I know. I understand you. Mikey really needs you, you know?” _

“What he needs is to be fixed. He’s running around like a stray with his Johnson on fire…,” Frank said before he stopped and got a puzzled look on his face. “Fuck, I just quoted my grandmother,”

_ “You bet your sweet ass you did,”  _ Gerard smiled a bit.  _ “But listen, Frank. I know this sounds odd, but…,” _

The apartment suddenly filled with the sound of someone trying to purge their soul into the abyss. Frank sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Hang on, baby. I’ll be right back,” Frank said as he left the room and crossed to the bathroom. He saw Mikey with his head halfway in the toilet, passing out.

“Ugh, that can’t be pleasant,” Frank sighed. He reached and pulled Mikey up a bit, which caused him to throw up again. Frank flushed the toilet and then sat on the tub as he ran a hand over Mikey’s back, soothing him.

“F-frank?” Mikey called out weakly

“Hang on, Mikes. I got you,”

Once Frank knew Mikey was done puking, he pulled his head up. He wiped the young man’s face off and then helped him up to his feet. He guided Mikey to his room and sat him on the bed. He took his boots off, and then his jeans. He tucked him into the bed. He sighed and placed a glass of water on the night stand with a bottle of asprin, and then returned to Gerard.

“He’s alright, Gee. I just put him to bed,”

_ “Good lord, it’s like you gotta take care of the both of us, you poor thing,”  _ Gerard frowned.

“I’m alright,” Frank replied, letting out a big yawn. “Come on, let’s get you to bed. My grandmother will be here by noon tomorrow to make dinner and help decorate the tree,”

_ “Okay, sounds good,” _

Gerard had to tell Frank what’s on his mind. Gerard doesn’t need Frank in the way Mikey needs him right now. It’s only for the best. He let Frank use the hoyer lift to transfer Gerard into bed and change him, then proceeded to tuck him in after hooking him up to his C-PAP mask. Now’s his chance.

“Mmmm, I can’t wait to give you your gift tomorrow night, Gee. I think you’re gonna love it,” Frank said as he snuggled into his boyfriend and breathed in his skin. “I love you, Gee,”

_ “I love you too, Frankie,”  _ Gerard grinned.  _ “But there’s something important I need to say,” _

Frank shut his eyes, pretending he’s asleep as he made a snoring noise, making Gerard roll his eyes in annoyance.

_ “Listen to me, baby. It’s crucial you do,” _

“Hmm...yeah, sure Gee. In the morning…,”

_ “Frank, Mikey needs you more than I do, in a way...and I think you two would be great for each other,”  _ Gerard finally said.

“Don’t say that, Gee,” a voice emerged. It wasn’t Frank’s voice that spoke to him in the dark of the room, but a voice from the doorway. It was small, weak, and raspy.

_ “Mikey? Is that you?” _ Gerard asked.

“You need Frank. Frank, he loves you, and you love him,” the voice spoke.

_ “I love him too, Mikey. I really do, but...I also love you, and I think Frank is what’s best for you right now,” _

“I’m fine, Gee. I really am,”

_ “Please, Mikey…,” _

“Get some sleep, Gerard. Do me a favor and thank Frank for me when he wakes up,” Mikey said as he left the room. Gerard sighed, knowing that he can’t give up. He needs Frank and Mikey to be together before things go more haywire for Mikey.

_ _ _

“Merry Christmas, everyone!”

“Nonna, that’s not til tomorrow,”

“Oh hush up, bambino!”

Frank shook his head at his grandma as he helped her in the house with the presents. She started to need a cane now, but she was still as feisty as ever.

_ “How are you, Ro?”  _ Gerard asked, sitting in his chair as he read a graphic novel on his device in the living room.

“I am good, Gerard. Ready to cook up a storm in the kitchen,”

Over the last few weeks of Gerard talking to her, he confessed that while he missed eating food, it was the smell he really missed. Frank and Mikey hid their food to not offend him so he never smelled anything. Nonna had taken to trapping scents in plastic containers and giving them to him. It made her smile when he described how good it all was, and that he could practically taste it. Now he sat at the table and told Rosalie everything she was cooking just from how it smelled when it hit the pan. It always impressed her when he was right. It was a real drag for Gerard to have to be tube-fed. He hated everything about it, from the thought of having the foul-smelling liquid being pumped into his body, to the occasional puking he experienced from it. He knew he wasn’t gonna get any better, and that he’d die with a tube in his stomach, and will never be able to enjoy any of Rosalie’s home cooking ever again.

“So Gerard, how it the simple life with my grandson?”

_ “It’s good for him...but with Mikey, it’s a whole different story,” _

“How so?”

Gerard looked over at Frank, then back at Rosalie. He hasn’t told her anything. Things just got awkward.

“Bambino, I forgot the creme fresh, run out and get me some,”

“Sure, Nonna. Be back in a bit,” Frank said to his grandma. He kissed Gerard and left.

“Now he’s gone. Talk to me, sweetie,” Rosalie said as she returned to her cooking.

_ “Well...where should I even start? Mikey has been...not himself lately,” _

“How so?”

_ “He’s been having one night stands every night and nearly drinking himself into a coma. He wants nothing to do with me or Frank anymore,” _

“That sounds pretty bad. How are you and Frank handling it?”

_ “We’ve been trying to talk to him about it, but clearly nothings’ working. I’m scared for him,” _

“What do you think would help him?”

_ “I’ve been thinking about what you said that one time. I think he needs Frank more than he needs me in a way. It’d be good for him. They’ll be happy together when I’m gone anyway,” _

“That’s a strong thing to think about. Strong in the head and strong in the heart,”

_ “I know it is,” _

“Are you strong enough to handle that? Can you handle knowing that you gave the love of your life permission to be with your brother?”

_ “Yes. I love him...but I also love my brother. He needs Frank...badly. It might be hard to let go, but...in the long run, it will be worth it,” _

“Tell me though...if you were not dying. If you were able to live a normal and healthy life, and then the same situation came up...would you be able to say the same?”

_ “Yes, I would. I love my baby brother that much,” _

“That was the right answer,” Rosalie smiled.

“I’m back!” Frank said, walking through the front door. He returned from the store and opened the fridge to place the creme fresh in it. “Nonna, you had creme fresh right here,”

“Where?”

“It was behind the milk,”

“Oh dear, I feel silly now,”

Gerard laughed a little, but he had to tell Frank what he just told his nonna. He had to get it off his chest. He had to make it work.

“Alright, dinner is ready,” Rosalie called out. “Gerard, please go get Mikey. Frank, set the table,”

Gerard nodded, wheeling himself to Mikey’s room. He just hoped he hadn’t been drinking at all. He just couldn’t today...not on on the day before Christmas.

_ _ _

Mikey was sitting in his bed. He had a bottle of...at this point, he couldn’t even remember what it was. He heard the voice of Gerard’s computer call his name from beyond the door.

“Yeah?” Mikey replied, stumbling from the bed to the door.

_ “Dinner’s ready,” _

“Oh...I’m not really hungry, Gerard,” Mikey hiccuped.

Gerard got a good look at his drunken brother. He had been drinking alright, much to his dismay. He knew he couldn’t present himself like this. That would lead to the ruin of this special Christmas dinner. He sighed and wheeled away, knowing that he’s got a lot of explaining to do to Frank and Rosalie. Mikey watched him go. He suddenly got pissed. Gerard didn’t even try to get him to come to the table. He went into the bathroom and scrubbed his face with a warm and wet washcloth and soap. He avoided looking in the mirror, knowing he looked like shit. He dried off and then headed for the dining room, all eyes turning to him. He guessed that maybe Gerard told Frank and Rosalie that Mikey wasn’t coming to dinner...because he was “too hungry”, and also too wasted.

“Smells good in here,” Mikey said in an attempt to break the awkward silence within the room.

“Have a seat, Mikey,” Rosalie replied, pointing to a chair next to Frank and across from Gerard. Frank rolled his eyes, seeing the intoxicated Mikey who had the nerve to get smashed at a holiday gathering. He almost felt outright embarassed.

_ “How are you...Mikey?” _ Gerard asked condescendingly, looking equally as annoyed and ashamed as Frank.

“Good...feeling really good,” Mikey grinned. It must be the rum mixure.

“Well, that’s good. I like when people I love are in good spirits,” Rosalie said as she plated up some lasagna for Mikey and Frank, then for herself.

_ “Oh, man...it smells so good!”  _ Gerard smiled, the aroma of savory home-cooked food filling his nose.

“Thank you, Gerard. And thank you for noticing that the garlic was about to burn earlier. You saved the main ingredient in our dinner,”

_ “You’re welcome, ma’m,” _

“How did Gee notice that?” Mikey asked. Rosalie turned to him.

“Just because Gerard can’t eat with his mouth anymore, doesn’t mean he appreciates food any less. We eat with our eyes and our sense of smell too,” she smiled.

“Oh…,”

And like that, Mikey felt like shit again. He hid what little he ate from his brother, thinking it was cruel. Now he realizes he was just being stupid.

“Well, that’s cause my baby here doesn’t let anything get him down,” Frank said before he kissed Gerard’s cheek, but felt a little guilty that he didn’t eat in front of Gerard, thinking it was hurting him. Gerard just smiled. He wanted everyone to be happy. He wanted everyone to enjoy their food and not have to worry about his debilitation. He didn’t wann be a burden on them.

“Well now that you two know, you can both mend the situation,” Rosalie said. “Not having to hide when you are eating. It means that dinners can be around the table again. I know Gerard missed that,”

Frank smiled and squeezed Gerard’s hand. They tucked into dinner and conversation after that.

_ _ _

“So, it is a tradition in our family that we open one present on Christmas eve,” Rosalie said as she handed out a present to each boy in the spacious living room, the leftover food from dinner packed away for leftovers and all the dishes washed.

“Wait, Nonna. I’d like to go first,” Frank interrupted, jumping off the sofa and walking to the decorated tree. He grabbed three presents and gave them out. He watched as Rosallie opened her’s first. It was a lovely scarf in sky blue, her favorite color.

“Thank you, bambino. It’s beautiful,” she said, then kissed his cheek. Mikey went next at Frank’s request. It was a key chain with his and Frank’s picure on it from high school.

“Oh, wow Frank...I…,” he whispered. He fought really hard not to cry.

“It’s okay, man,” Frank patted Mikey on the shoulder and squeezed it. Then he walked up to Gerard with his little boxed present, setting it in his lap. He smiled up at him, and Gerard did the same, his face blushed pink.

_ “Well, Frankie...are you gonna help open it for me or what? These arms of mine can’t, you know,” _

“I know, Gee. I know,” Frank laughed, looking down at the small box wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper with candy canes on it. “I looked long and hard to find the perfect gift for you...it was not easy, but when I found this...I knew you would love it. You ready to see it?”

_ “Yes, baby,” _

Frank slowly began to tear at the paper covering the box, revealing the bare black satin box, with a top-notch jewelry store’s brand logo etched on it in gold. Gerard’s eyes widened at the sight of it. He felt his heart stop dead in it’s tracks. Frank lifted the top of the box to reveal a golden ring with a radiant red gem glistening in the light of the room. Gerard gasped in shock and awe. He couldn’t believe what Frank had just given him. It was absolutely breathtaking. He felt the sting of tears come to his eyes.

_ “Frankie...oh my god…,”  _ his computer spoke, it’s monotone voice unequally matching how stunned and amazed Gerard was.

“Wow...Frank...that’s…,” Mikey said, his jaw hanging to the ground. He was at a loss for words.

“Gee, I don’t care how long you have on this earth. I just know that I love you and that I want to spend whatever you have left showing you how much you mean to me,” Frank said. He got down on his knee, taking the ring out of the box. He picked up Gerard’s limp hand and placed the ring on his finger. “Gerard Way, will you marry me?”

_ “Yes, Frank Iero...I will! I will marry you!” _

Gerard broke out into tears, unable to hold them back. He still couldn’t believe this was happening to him. He’ll be damned if it wasn’t just some dream. It couldn’t be. It was the best day of his life. He just couldn’t stop crying, gasping for air as tears ran from his astonished eyes. Frank smiled and hugged him tightly, letting Gerard cry into his shirt. Beside them, Rosalie cried tears of joy, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue she grabbed from her purse.

_ “Oh, Frank...I’ve been thinking this whole time that you and Mikey would be the better pair, but...oh my god! I’m so happy!” _

“Mikey? Why would you think that? Mikey is my best friend, right Mikes?” Frank asked, turning to Mikey to find him absent from the living room. The smile on Frank’s face instantly vanished. “Mikey? Where’d he go?”

_ “I don’t know, Frank. Ro, did you see him go anywhere?” _ Gerard asked, his eyes scanning the room for a sign of his brother.

“I must admit I was in too much shock by Frank’s present to notice. Perhaps he went to the bathroom,”

_ “Can you go check, Frankie?” _

“Of course,” Frank said as he got up from his knee and kissed his new fiance. He then headed to the bathroom. The door was open. He checked Mikey’s bedroom, which was also empty. “Huh. He’s not here,”

_ “Oh? That’s strange,”  _ Gerard frowned. He knew something wasn’t right.

“Did he step out for a cigarette?”

_ “Not sure,” _

“I’ll go check,” Rosalie said. She got up and went into Gerard’s room to find no one out on the balcony. She checked out the balcony and looked down to find his car absent from the driveway. She shuffled back out to the living room. “His car is gone,”

_ “What?”  _ Gerard’s eyes widened.  _ “Are you serious? He didn’t even tell us where he was going!” _

“I wonder if he got a call from someone,” Frank suggested. He was truly puzzled by Mikey’s behavoir.

_ “I highly doubt that, to be honest,” _

“Well, I am confused. I’ll try calling him,” Frank said as he got out his cell phone. He dialed Mikey’s number, but it went straight to voicemail.

_ “Something isn’t right here, Frank,”  _ Gerard said, eyes full of worry.

“Yeah, I agree,” Frank replied, sitting down next to Gerard and taking his hand, caressing the ring. “He’s so different now,”

_ “He is. I’m worried for him,” _

“I am too. Frank, you should go out and look for him. I’ll stay here with Gerard,” said Rosalie.

“Yeah, I will. I’ll use the GPS again,” Frank said as he put on his coat.

_ “Please come back with him, Frank. Please make sure he comes home okay,”  _ Gerard pleaded.

“I’ll be back with him. I promise,” Frank smiled, kissing Gerard and Rosalie, then walking out the front door. Rosalie turned to Gerard and sat next to him, looking down at his ring.

“Well, that was quite a gift, wasn’t it Gerard?” she asked, taking a sip from her coffee.

_ “It was. It really was. I am so happy beyond words,”  _ Gerard smiled. It quickly faded, though.  _ “I am happy I had a moment like this before I am soon to die, but...I still think Frank and Mikey would be the better pair,” _

“I think it would have been better to say something earlier. I wonder if that is why Mikey left,”

_ “That could actually be why. I love Frank to death, and...I know I’ll never live to be with him for a long time. I really should have said something, but...this is what I’ve always wanted…,”  _ Gerard said, frowning. A single tear ran down his cheek, looking guilty and forlorn.

“You are more than entitled to your happiness, especially since it will be short-lived, but I worry that your brother’s may be even more short lived soon,”

_ “I know. I wish there was something I could do to help my baby brother, since he’s helped me so much, but...I’m powerless,” _

“Oh, Gerard,” Rosalie sighed, reaching out and touching Gerard’s arm. “You have more power than you think you do,”

_ “How is that so? I’m just an empty shell waiting to fade away. How can someone with no control over his own body have power?” _

“You will never be empty, my dear,”

Gerard continued to cry, not bothering to hide the tears. He wasn’t sure if they were out of sadness because of his knowing that he doesn’t have much time left on this planet, or tears of joy, knowing that he’s loved.

_ “Please, Frank,”  _ Gerard spoke to himself.  _ “Please bring Mikey home. Please make sure he’s okay…,” _

_ _ _

Mikey wandered around the park. He was drinking a bottle of eggnog flavored vodka. Who knew it even existed, but it was on sale at the liquor store, which he was surprised was open this late. There was a small bridge there that Gerard and he used to hang out at and talk about their dreams. It was about a ten foot drop to the bottom, and they used to make jokes about if one could make it and live. Maybe Mikey would find out tonight.

“Engaged. Married,” Mikey mumbled drunkenly to himself. It was everything that Gerard had ever wanted. Mikey was happy for him, he really was, but that the same time he was angry. It wouldn’t even last six months, if the doctors were correct. Technically that is not even a marriage that you can get divorced from. It’s the kind that celebrities have. “Selfish bastard,”

Mikey didn’t know if he was talking about Frank or Gerard now as he stumbled on a rock, taking a third of the bottle down. He was the selfish bastard, though. That’s why he ran. He needed to get away. He needed to go away forever. He couldn’t be around them anymore. Let them have their happiness for these months, let them live in the peace the deserved, he thought to himself. Mikey deserved nothing.


	14. Take My Hand And Never Be Afraid Again

Frank was cursing like a sailor right now, yelling every obscenity in the book. He never plugged in his phone at the house, and he forgot his car charger because he was cleaning the car out yesterday. He was at thirteen one percent now. Thankfully, it was not a shitty I-Phone, which can get from twenty percent to dead within seconds flat. Still, the little orange bar at the bottom of the battery made him nervous. He followed the GPS, which was locked onto Mikey’s location. He was near where the boys used to live, not far from the high school they all attended. Frank started to think about what was there, so he had backup plan in case the phone died.

“The park!” he yelled. He congratulated himself and then turned his phone off to conserve the battery. He then picked up speed, hoping there were no cops around towards his destination.

_ _ _

“I don’ want a lot for Chrismasss, there is jus’ one thing I need. I don’ care ‘bout the pressssents, underneath the Christmasss treee…,”

Mikey was pretty drunk now….No, he was smashed. Really smashed. There was only about a fourth of the bottle left. He sat on the edge of the bridge, singing a song that he and his friends used to sing when they got drunk in high school. Mikey used to make Gerard blush when he would whisper in his ear that all Gerard wanted for Christmas was Frank.

“Well, ya finally got ya wish, Gee! Here’s to ya both!” Mikey hollered into the air, finishing his bottle and then dropping it from the ten foot height. He heard it smash, and giggled. “I wonder if I will sound like that…,” he mused as he tipped over slightly to see the ground below him and the frozen water that now had an outlet from the hole the bottle made. He then suddenly cussed under his breath, thinking that he should have written a suicide note or something for Gerard and Frank. He pulls out his phone and tried to see the buttons. He starts to compose a text to them, thankful for auto-correct.

**_“Dear Gee and Frank,_ **

**_I am so happy for you both. I wish you all the love and happiness in the coming...however much time you have left. You two deserve each other and to be happy together…”_ **

“Fuck, I wrote happy a lot,” Mikey whispered. He laughed and continued.

**_“Anyway, don’t cry for me. I’ll be alright, I had a good life, just wish I had someone to share it with like you guys. Take care of yourselves._ **

**_Love, Mikey”_ **

Mikey hit send and then started to sing again, drunkenly wandering around in the cold December weather.

_ _ _

Gerard’s phone vibrated in his pocket. It wasn’t very often that he got text messages from anyone, usually just Mikey and Frank. It must be something urgent, he thought. He wanted to make sure Mikey and Frank were both okay.

_ “Rosalie, could you do me a favor and grab my phone outta my pocket? Someone just texted me,” _

“Sure, Gerard,” Rosalie said, walking up to Gerard and picking it up from his pocket and connecting it to Gerard’s computer so he could see the text and reply at his will. He read the text, his eyes widening in horror as his eyes scanned over word after word. He felt his whole body shake and his heart race. Mikey was in danger.

_ “Oh, no…,” _

“Gerard, calm down. What is it?”

_ “It’s Mikey...he’s gonna kill himself! We gotta stop him!” _

“What? Oh no!” Rosalie gasped in shock. “Where’s Frank? You gotta text him!”

_ “I’m on it,”  _ Gerard said, frantically texting Frank and telling him to move his ass and find Mikey before it was too late. He didn’t want Mikey to die...not before him…

_ _ _

Frank arrived at the park and saw Mikey’s car. He yelled out a frantic “yes!” as he did. It was the only one there, obviously. It was Christmas eve after all. Frank turned on the phone to try and get a location on him. He saw that he had two new messages, one from Mikey, and the other from Gerard. He opened Gerard’s first as he waited for the phone to locate Mikey again.

**_“Hurry up, Frank! Mikey’s gonna try to kill himself!!!!!!”_ **

Frank felt his heart stop in it’s tracks. He then switched over to reading Mikey’s text and just about crapped himself.

“Oh, fuck no!” he yelled. The phone blipped, and Frank saw that the phone blipped, showing that Mikey was on the other side of the park, then it died. “The bridge!”

_ _ _

Mikey was crying now. He had emptied his stomach over the edge, and now he was just crying. He leaned over more. It was a long way down, and there was a chance that he may only break his limbs, but it was cold and no one would be in the park on Christmas, so either way he was as good as dead.

“Goodbye, Gee. Bye, Frankie…,” Mikey said, tipping forward and falling over. “Fuck!” he screamed, landing on something...or rather, someone. He felt arms around him and cold water.

“You stupid son of a bitch, why?!” he heard a familiar voice scream at him.

“F-f-f-Frankie?” Mikey stuttered, shivering.

“Yeah, you dumb shit, it’s me. Now we can get the fuck out of this freezing ass water so you can tell me what the fuck you were doing just now!”

“I...I…,” Mikey shakily started, just to faint in Frank’s arms.

“Fuck me,” Frank cursed under his breath, hauling Mikey’s body back to his car.

_ _ _

**_“I have him, Gee. Sorry my phone died. Heading to the hospital. I’ll call you and explain more when I get there. He’s alive”_ **

_ “Oh, thank god…,”  _ Gerard sighed in relief as he read Frank’s text message, with Rosalie beside him wiping at his tears for him with a tissue.  _ “He’s gonna be okay,” _

“That’s good, honey,” Rosalie said, hugging Gerard’s shaking body.

_ “I was so worried sick...I thought I was gonna lose him!” _

“Sometimes the one who is truly the sickest shows it the least,”

_ “Yeah, that’s definitely Mikey. He’s sick like me...just in a different way,” _

“Oh no dear, I believe you both had the same sickness...except my grandson’s cured yours. Mikey still suffers from his,”

_ “I know. You know something, Ro? When I was first diagnosed with this fucking disease I have, I’ve tried to kill myself...numerous times,”  _ Gerard said as he felt the sting of tears come back to his eyes, looking down somberly at his twistedly contracted and immobile body.

“Yes, Frank was telling me that it was Mikey that kept you here, that he did everything to show you how much he loved you and needed you,”

_ “I know. I’m glad I survived. I’m glad he saved me...and I’m happy Frank saved him,” _

“Did he really?”

_ “Of course Mikey did. He stopped me from killing myself so many times that I feel terrible looking back at it all,” _

“How long did it take Mikey to convince you to stop? How many times did you try?”

_ “I’ve done it...so many times I’ve lost track. It had to be a long time before I became too weak to even attempt to kill myself,” _

“So do you think Mikey is going to stop at just this one?”

_ “I...I don’t know, Ro,”  _ Gerard sniffled, crying and fearing for the well-being of his brother. Rosalie wasn’t trying to be cruel, she was just a tell it like it is woman from way back. They didn’t believe in sugar-coating back in her days of growing up. Better to face things head on, she thought.

_ “I wish there’s something I can do to make him stop from doing it again. It’s not like I can physically stop him like he was able to do for me,” _

“I’m sure you will figure it out. You are a smart boy, Gerard,” Rosalie smiled, putting a loving hand on Gerard’s shoulder. At that moment, his phone rang. He answered it with his device.

_ “Hello?”  _ the computer spoke into the phone. He was still trying his damndest to not make it clear that he’s been doing a good deal of crying, holding in his tears and sniffles.

“Hey baby, sorry about before. I have my phone charging now, didn’t mean to scare you earlier. I found Mikey. He tried to jump off the old bridge in the park. I broke his fall. We both have sprained wrists from the impact on the ice, but nothing else other than massive headaches,” Frank sighed.

_ “Thank god he’s alive, Frankie. Thank you...so much,”  _ Gerard said before completely losing it, breaking out into loud sobs muffled under his unmovable lips. There was no use holding it all back.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay baby,” Frank cooed. “Want me to get you?”

_ “Please. I need to see Mikey!” _

“Calm down, baby. They’re making an exception for you to see him,”

_ “They are?”  _ Gerard simmered down, still sniffling a bit.

“Yes, baby. They are. He’s not awake at the moment, though,”

_ “Please let me see him, Frank. I need to see him,” _

“Not unless you calm down,”

_ “Okay. I’m sorry…,”  _ Gerard shut his eyes and breathed, trying his damndest to calm down.  _ “Okay, Frank,” _

“Good, Gee. I will be home in a bit to collect you,”

_ “Okay, see you then,”  _ Gerard hung up the phone, turning to Rosalie.  _ “Mikey’s okay. He’s in the hospital and Frank is gonna pick me up to see him,” _

“Good. Well then, I will head home when he gets back,”

_ “Alright. I’m sorry all of this had to happen. It was supposed to be a special day,” _

“It’s okay, baby. I’ll see you in a bit. Love you, Gee,”

_ “Love you too,” _

_ _ _

Mikey woke up with a gasp like he was coming up from drowning….Wait...how was he still alive? How was he not frozen to death? He looked up and saw…

“Gee…,” he whispered, seeing his brother in his chair, resting up against the window. There was no one else in the room.

_ “Mikey,”  _ Gerard’s computer spoke. He looked anything but pleased, his eyes staring at his brother in bitter disgust, who shrank back into the bed and buried himself under the covers.  _ “I’m very disappointed in you. How could you, Mikey? You know better than that! I could have lost you! We all could have! I thought you would have known better, considering what you saved me from multiple times!” _

“Whatever, Gerard,” Mikey sighed.

_ “Listen to me, Mikey. Nothing is worth hurting yourself over. Nothing is worth taking your life over. Do you understand?”  _ Gerard ranted as he shook in his seat, his labored breaths growing heavy.

“Yeah, sure Gee,”

_ “Please tell me you do, Mikey. I don’t want you to ever do something like that to yourself again. I fucking love you...and I’d do anything in my power to help you. I may not be able to do much, but...I still wanna help. I want my baby brother to be happy before I die,” _

“I’m fine, Gee,” Mikey said flatly.

_ “No you’re not, Mikey. Please, talk to me,”  _ Gerard begged.  _ “I...I love you...baby brother,” _

“I love you too, Gee. I’m just tired and want to sleep,”

_ “Okay, Mikey...if that’s what you really want, then so be it. Just remember all that I told you,”  _ Gerard said before wheeling himself out of Mikey’s hospital room. Mikey sighed as he watched Gerard leave. He felt the tears welling in his eyes slipping out.

“Why couldn’t I have just died?”

_ _ _

Frank sat at the kitchen table with Gerard, smoking a cigarette. He didn’t care right now. Mikey was being a bitch and Frank had had enough.

_ “I’m sorry, Frankie. I feel like we’re missing something here,” _

“Well I’ll be damned it I can figure it out,”

_ “I think it has something todo with us. He left unannounced when…,”  _ Gerard paused, thinking long and hard about his words.  _ “You proposed to me,” _

“Maybe he thought it was too much? I mean...I know reality Gee, but I don’t care. I want to spend it with you,”

_ “I do too, but...I think Mikey needs something more than me. It’s been on my mind a lot, and...I know I’ve said it before…,” _

“What do you think he needs?”

_ “He…,”  _ Gerard paused again. This was it. He was ready to give it up, for his brother’s sake.  _ “He needs you, Frank,” _

“What he needs is someone to knock some sense into him,” Frank finished his cigarette and went to the kitchen to pour himself some more coffee.

_ “That’s not what I meant, Frank,” _

“Gee, I love you, but you are talking in riddles today,”

_ “I mean it, Frank. You and Mikey would be better for each other than you and me. I want you two to have each other when I’m gone. I know I don’t have much time left…,”  _ Gerard stopped, falling into a coughing fit, gagging and gasping for air. He didn’t know if his cold he caught was getting the best of him, or if this meant something more…

“Gerard, what are you talking about? I love you, baby. I love you, not your brother. I mean, he is a good friend and I care about him a lot, but…,”

_ “Listen to me, Frank!”  _ the computer’s voice exclaimed, Gerard’s body shaking with frustration.  _ “He needs you much more than me. I want him to be happy before I pass on,” _

“Gee, I am not gonna suddenly stop being friends with him after you go,”

_ “No. He needs you more than that. You two need to be together...like how we are. Please, Frank…,” _

“Gerard,” Frank gasped in shock. “Are you telling me you don’t wanna marry me?”

Franks’ words hit Gerard like a freight train. He loved Frank, but...he had to tell him. He loved Frank to death...but he also loved Mikey. He didn’t wanna lose him.

_ “What I’m saying is...I love you, Frank. I really do, but...Mikey deserves this more than I do. He’s got his whole life ahead of him. I don’t. I want him to be happy, and I wanna die knowing he’ll stay that way when he finds his love...and he loves you, Frank. I can see it in his eyes,” _

“He...he loves me?”

_ “Yes, he does. How can you not see it? When you two are together, it’s like his whole world lights up. I’ve never seen him so happy around anyone, and that’s saying a lot,” _

“I mean...I know he is happy when we hang out and…,”

Frank starts to jog his memory. All the times he hung out with Gerard. Then he remembered when he had his panic attack several weeks ago.

_ “Come on, Frankie, you need to hydrate now,” Mikey pulled out the Gatorade and opened it, placing a straw inside. He placed it between Frank’s lips. “Drink a little, please?” _

_ Frank managed to take a few sips that satisfied him. Mikey then closed the bottle again and placed in on the nightstand. He then climbed onto the bed and laid on the other side of Frank, pulling up the covers up over him. Frank shivered and whimpered a bit. _

_ “Shh, I got you, Frankie. You’re safe and loved,” Mikey carded his fingers through Frank’s hair til he settled down again. _

_ “I’m sorry, Mikey...I didn’t know how that all happened. I didn’t...I just…,” Frank sighed deeply. “I feel pathetic,” _

_ “You are anything but pathetic. You are amazing and you have been so good to me and my brother for the last six months...I don’t know what I...no, we would do without you,” _

_ Frank smiled, knowing he’s held in a special place in both Mikey and Gerard’s hearts. _

_ Speaking of Gerard… _

_ “How’s Gerard? Is he okay? He’s not mad at me, is he?” _

_ “I don’t know what his problem is, but right now I am not concerned about him. You are all I am worried about,” Mikey turned Frank’s face gently towards him. “You need to take better care of yourself Frankie, for me please?” Mikey meant to say we, but he ended up speaking from his heart instead. _

_ “I’ll try, Mikey. I’ll try,” _

_ “Thanks, Frankie,” Mikey smiled and caressed Frank’s face. _

_ “You’re welcome, Mikes. I think I feel better now,” _

_ “Good,” Mikey smiled brightly. _

_ “I need to talk to Gerard. I wanna make sure he’s okay,” Frank stood up, making his way to Gerard’s bedroom. “I’ll be back in a bit,” _

“Fuck...it was right there, I mean his confession, it was right there and I completely blew him off,” Frank said shakily as he collapsed in the chair he was next to. “What have I done, Gee?”

_ “Now do you see, Frank?”  _ Gerard frowned, wishing he could hold the fragile Frankie in his arms, just like he used to in his better and healthier days.

“I...I need to get out of here,” Frank grabbed his coat and quickly left the apartment.

_ “Frank, where are you going?”  _ Gerard called out, only to be answered by a door slamming shut in front of him.

_ _ _

Mikey had a headache. He went to grab for his water supply, but found it empty. He heard a door close and hoped that Frank went out and Gerard was in his room. He crept out of the bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen. He could be in and out quickly and then when everyone was asleep, he could get some more water at the store.

_ “Mikey…,”  _ the male voice of Gerard’s computer called out.

“Shit,” Mikey uttered under his breath. “Uh, hey Gee. Just grabbed some water,” He quickly slipped into the kitchen and went to the fridge. There was no water there.

_ “Frank left. He never said where he was going. I’m scared for him,”  _ Gerard said, wheeling up to Mikey in the kitchen.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Mikey replied he smelled the coffee, and it had been a while since he had any. He poured himself a cup instead.

_ “No, Mikey. I don’t think so. I...I told him everything. I told him that...you two should be together, and he left abruptly,” _

“What?!” Mikey yelled, nearly spitting out his coffee. “Gerard, why would you say something stupid like that?”

_ “Because it’s true! I see it in the two of you. You need Frank far more than me. You have a chance at life, and I don’t want you to throw it away. You. Need. Frank,” _

“Yeah, well he doesn’t need me! He made that very clear!” Mikey moved to leave the room and head back to his bedroom. “Maybe I do…,”

Gerard sighed deeply. He would go out to run and find Frank, if his body had the power. He wanted to make sure he was okay.

_ “Nobody listens to me. You better be okay, Frank...or I’ll die an unhappy man,”  _ Gerard spoke to himself. When Mikey got to his room, he looked up and saw Frank in the doorway. He quickly tried to leave the area, but Frank was faster. He grabbed his wrist.

“Please let go of me!”

“No, Mikey. Not til you hear me out,”

“What? What do you want?” Mikey asked impatiently. Frank looked at Gerard in the doorway behind Mikey and saw him give a small smile with his eyes.

“Mikey, I am a fool. While I love Gerard with all my heart, it made me blind to see what was in front of me. I never saw you or your feelings for what they were, and for that I am truly sorry,”

Blown away by Frank’s words, Mikey kept his face down so no one would see his tears. Gerard smiled even bigger through his eyes. Someone was finally listening to him.

“Oh, Frank…,” Mikey sniffled. He quickly took Frank into a hug, losing it and sobbing on his chest. Frank knew he had to be careful. He touched Mikey’s face lightly, lifting it.

“I see you now. I see you for who you are and how you feel. Gerard is the one that helped me open my eyes,”

Frank looked at Gerard for support. He smiled back and winked. Frank felt a little more confidence. He still didn’t try to touch Mikey too much. He knew one wrong move would cause everything to collapse.

“Mikey, I am not going to tell you that I love you, cause that would be wrong, but I care about you very much and perhaps...perhaps in time, my feelings could grow,” Frank said, making eye contact with Mikey.

“Are you just saying that?” Mikey asked, his face raw with tears.

“No, Mikey. I would never just say that,” Frank smiled. Mikey looked back at Gerard.

“Gee…,”

_ “Go ahead. Yuck it up. I’ll be in my room,”  _ Gerard said as he wheeled himself away from the two lovebirds and to his room. Mikey was confused, but Frank just laughed. He grabbed Gerard’s wheelchair by the handlebars behind him.

“Oh no you don’t, mister. You are not getting out of it this easily. We are going to sit down and have a long talk as a family. None of this is cut and dry as it is important to me that no one else gets hurt anymore,”

_ “Oh, alright,”  _ Gerard rolled his eyes, unable to get away despite the moving power in his chair. Frank led both the way brothers to the living room where they could be more comfortable. He sat between the two and then made a silent prayer that everything would be alright between them.


	15. I Will Not Kiss You

_***Time Stamp: January***_

A beam of sunlight woke Frank up. He groaned and hissed, then turned into the soft skin next to him, burying his head under a pillow to block out the bright sun in his eyes.

“It’s too early,” he mumbled.

“Is it too early for coffee?” a familiar voice asked. Frank looked up and saw Mikey in the doorway.

“Mikey Way, do you love me?” Frank asked playfully, his voice still muffled in the pillow.

“Yeah, well…,” Mikey blushed. He could not get over how everything seemed to work out for them. He crossed to his brother’s bed and sat down in the chair next to it. “Is he awake yet?”

“Not yet, Mikes,”

“Rough night?”

“Just an accident. Had to change him and the sheets and give him a bath, but it was alright,” Frank said, looking over at the patient next to him fast asleep, his C-PAP doing it’s work helping him breathe as he slept.

“He must have felt bad,”

“Actually, he was asleep through most of it. I think his catheter came a little loose,”

“You take such good care of him,” Mikey smiled, handing Frank a mug of hot coffee in one of his hands.

“He deserves it,”

“He does. Well, I’m going to start breakfast then,”

“I’ll wake up Gee and we’ll join you,”

“Okay,” Mikey said, leaning over and kissing Gerard’s cheek. He then kissed Frank lightly and left. Frank sighed and then leaned in and kissed Gerard.

“Gee, Gee, come on baby, time to get up,” Frank cooed, lightly shaking his body. Gerard groaned, struggling to open his eyes. He was still far too embarrassed from last night’s incident. He hated how the stuff he’s tube-fed daily always messes with his digestive tract, and the mess it always leaves afterwards. Something else about him didn’t just feel right this morning for some reason.

“Come on, beautiful. Open your eyes for me,” Frank whispered in Gerard’s ear softly, stroking his hair as he took of his breathing mask. Gerard did so, his half-awake and weary eyes typing his words on the device’s monitor above his bed.

_ “I’m sorry about last night, Frank…,” _ he said, feeling lower than a dog for the mess he made all over himself for Frank to clean up.

“Stop it. It was fine. I was fine, Gee,” Frank laughed.

_ “You sure? I can only imagine how bad all that shit was to clean up, even though I was only a quarter awake,” _

“It was really not that bad. I caught it in time, so it was pretty easy. Now stop worrying and kiss me, pumpkin,”

_ “You’re gonna have to do that for me. I can’t move my neck or mouth anymore,” _ Gerard frowned in his mind. Yesterday he was able to move his lips...a little bit. Not today, though.

“Gee...I know that. Stop taking everything so seriously,” Frank rolled his eyes, leaning down to kiss Gerard. Just as Frank did, Gerard found himself at a loss of air. He gasped and choked, coughing and hacking like he’s been doing for the past few days, no thanks to the cold he caught.

“Gee, I think you’re getting sick. We should take you in to get checked,” Mikey said, walking back into Gerard’s room.

“I agree with Mikes, Gee. Better to be safe than sorry,”

_ “I know. I’ve been coughing really bad lately. Damn this weather,” _

“I’ll call them and let them know we’re coming. Mikey, you wanna get Gerard dressed?”

“Sure, Frankie,” Mikey said. Frank got up and headed for his room. He kissed Mikey on his way out.

“Come on Gee, let’s get you ready,” Mikey told his brother, taking out some clothes from Gerard’s closet for him.

_ “Okay,” _ Gerard replied before coughing up some more, his spittle flying in all directions, his throat dry and deprived of air. Mikey worked quickly as he got his brother dressed and into his chair. He wrapped a heated blanket around him and plugged it into one of the outlets in his chair that his computer is plugged up to. He also grabbed one of Gerard’s emergency oxygen tanks behind his chair and turned it on, putting the mask over Gerard’s face. 

“Got the van all warmed up,” Frank called out, walking back into Gerard’s room.

“Okay, you load Gee in and I will get dressed quick,” Mikey said before he kissed Gerard’s cold cheek, and then left the room.

“Hang on, Gee. You’re gonna be okay,” Frank whispered to Gerard as he wheeled him to the elevator and down to the front lobby, making their way out the door and to the van.

_ “Are you sure?”  _ Gerard looked up weakly, his eyes being the only thing left he could move, his dominant hand he’s used to navigate his chair now limp and moveless.  _ “Frank...my hand. I can’t move,” _

“Yeah, baby. I’m sure. Come on,” Frank said, loading Gerard in the van. He closed the door just as Mikey came out. “Mikey...I’m worried. I think we are looking at the beginning of the end,”

“Let’s try not to think about it til we are sure. Come on, Frankie,”

“Okay…,” Frank smiled through tears. They got in the van and drove to the hospital.

*

*

*

Gerard coughed and gagged the entire ride to the hospital. Lucky for them, he didn’t have to wait in the lobby of the emergency room when the nurses got a good look at his sickly state. Frank and Mikey waited painstakingly, time passing by as slow as humanly possible. Even a few naps didn’t help much.

“I hope Gerard is alright,” Mikey sighed, lying his head on Frank’s shoulder.

“I’m sure he will be alright, Mikes,” Frank replied, hugging the older man tightly. “We will talk to the doctor and find out what’s going on soon,”

“Frank? Mikey? Dr. Urie is ready to see you. He’s in room 734 with Gerard,” a nurse called out from the desk once she received a phone call. Like lightning, Frank and Mikey got up and headed to Gerard’s room.

“I guess they decided to keep him,” Frank whispered as they walked inside. Dr. Urie greeted them with a somber look on his face, with Gerard behind him asleep and hooked up to oxygen, with a tube down his throat and breathing for him. He never looked so weak and ill before, his eyes sunken and his skin ghostly pale. Seeing him made Frank and Mikey’s hearts drop to their stomachs.

“It’s not looking good for him. The disease has been progressing faster than we predicted, and as you may know, Gerard has been losing his ability to breathe. You guys are lucky you caught him in time. He could have simply stopped breathing and died in his sleep,”

“How much longer?” Frank swallowed hard.

“We’re not sure, but at best...Gerard has maybe a month or two to live, maybe three if he’s lucky. Besides inserting a tracheostomy in him, which we can go forward with, the best we can do is make him comfortable until the end,”

“Does he have to stay here?” Mikey asked, trying to control the quiver in his voice.

“Yes, to go through with the surgery for the tracheostomy. He can return home after he recovers, but…,” Dr. Urie flipped through some notes in his clipboard. “Because of the complexity of Gerard’s condition, it’s strongly recommended that he either has more aides in his care at home, or that he’s placed in a care facility,”

“We will hire more aides. I don’t think Mikey here wants Gerard to be anywhere but home,”

“That’s fine. I’ll contact your homecare agency later,” Dr. Urie turned to Frank. “Frank, after the surgery, I will hand you a booklet on how to care for Gerard’s tracheostomy,”

“Okay…,” Frank said, holding Mikey close as Dr. Urie left the room. He knew he was going to really need him now as much as Gerard.

*

*

*

“Wow, this book is comprehensive!” Frank exclaimed, sitting in the living room and sipping on his coffee as he read up on Gerard’s care. He turned to his grandmother who sat next to him. “Hey, Nonna. Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes, bambino?”

“What would you do if your best friend was dying?” Frank asked, setting down the book.

“Well…,” Rosalie said, looking down and deep in thought as she sipped her tea. “I would be upset, of course...but I’d do everything in my power to make him as comfortable as possible,”

“I’m not sure I have the power to do that, honestly…,” Frank frowned. He looked over at Mikey, who was in the living room with them. He was curled up in the corner, sitting in the wheelchair that Gerard used to sit in. He was shivering under his blanket, and Frank knew it was tears and fear, not the cold.

“Why not, bambino? You’re a wonderful caregiver, and I’m sure Gerard agrees,” Rosalie asked.

“It’s not Gerard that’s dying...well, he is dying, but I am more worried about Mikey. I knew he always knew this day would come, but he is not handling it was well as he thought he would. In short...he’s dying,”

“Well, you must do the same for him. Make him comfortable. Help him understand that his brother will be in a better place when he passes on,”

“I’m thinking when Gerard passes, that Mikey and I should move and get a place that is smaller that we can create new memories in,”

“That’s a good idea. This place would bring back too many bittersweet memories. It’s always good to start on a new fresh canvas. I’m sure Gerard would want the same for you two,”

“I’m afraid Mikey won’t do it, though,”

“Why not? Are you afraid he’d be living too much in the past, when Gerard’s still alive?”

“I don’t know...I just...Gerard in a roundabout way rejected my marriage proposal in favor of saving his brother’s heart. What if Mikey rejects me in saving his own? I don’t think I could take that kind of rejection…,”

“I know, bambino. Right now I’d focus on what’s right here right now. Worrying too much about the future will bring no good. Worry about when Gerard comes home from the hospital, alright?”

“I am hoping that Mikey will snap out of it,” Frank said as he finished his coffee. “I’m gonna get him to bed. Gerard comes home tomorrow and I want Mikey to be his best...but I’m not sure if Gerard will be able to use his computer anymore. He looked really weak when I saw him yesterday,”

“Oh? Is it really that bad? Poor thing,” Rosalie put a supporting hand on her grandson’s shoulder. “You go take care of Mikey. His brother was right. He does need you,”

“I know,” Frank stood up and kissed his grandmother and then headed across the room to get Mikey.

*

*

*

“Gee, this is Mandy, Sasha, and Thomas. They’re gonna work with Mikey and I to take care of you,” Frank spoke calmly to Gerard, introducing him to his three new caregivers in the living room as Gerard’s stiff and motionless body laid in the new reclining geriatric chair that’s been ordered for him, his tracheostomy machine and feeding tube hooked up to him and functioning for his gradually weakening and frail body, his tired and sunken eyes looking at the three new people that have been hired to take care of him alongside Frank and Mikey. He would greet them graciously, but he couldn’t. He had lost the ability to use his computer due to his eye muscles giving out, leaving him completely mute and without any form of communication. He couldn’t even twitch his fingers, and could barely blink his eyes to give a yes or no answer to whoever tried to talk to him. His body had become so atrophied and statue-like to the point where it stayed in a contorted and uncomfortable position, his arms and legs bent and curled up, and his back hunched. To prevent hand and foot drop, he has to have rolled up washcloths put in each of his rigid hands and braces placed on his feet. Aside from an occasional grunt or moan that escaped from his throat, his body was completely shiftless and silent. To say the least, he looked braindead to the normal human eye, but Frank and Mikey, we well as the new CNAs, knew that wasn’t the case.

“Nice to meet you, Gerard,” Mandy, a red-haired girl in pink Hello Kitty scrubs, said as she smiled at him.

“I hope we all get along,” said Sasha, a tall black girl with curly dark hair and gray scrubs with penguins on them.

“We want you to know we are going to do everything to make you comfortable,” said Thomas, a young man with neatly combed blond hair and navy blue scrubs. Gerard smiled back at them all in his mind. He was confident in them. They all didn’t have that same negative aura that Marco had around him.

“Alright, so I will still be here all the time. I’ll help each of them out on their shifts with you, Gee. Mandy will be here in the morning from seven to three, Sasha in the evening from three to eleven, and Thomas overnight from eleven to seven,” Frank said, still speaking properly to Gerard as if he could answer back. He turned back to the three coworkers beside him. “Right now it’s about ten. Sasha, Thomas, you guys are free to go til your shifts start later. Mandy, you and me will check Gerard here in a bit to see if he needs to be changed. After that, I’ll help you give him his bath. Okay?”

Sasha and Thomas both nodded, saying their goodbyes to Gerard as they left out the front door. As they did, Mikey walked in with some groceries he grabbed from the store and set them down, walking over to his brother in the living room as Frank and Mandy gathered the supplies for Gerard’s bath. He slowly kneeled down to face him and stroked his cheek, trying his hardest to fight back his tears seeing him for the first time since he got home from the hospital this morning. It was almost too hard for him to look at his brother in the eye, seeing his rapidly deteriorating state that made his heart shatter.

“Hey, bro. You alright?” Mikey whispered, his voice quivering as Gerard’s weary and shiftless eyes stared back at him. Under the soft hum of Gerard’s tracheostomy machine, Mikey could have sworn he heard his brother’s throat squeak with the sound of mucous sloshing in his tube. Mikey turned away, his face contorting from the tears getting to the best of him. He knew Gerard would hate to see him cry. He had to get away to let it all out. “I’m sorry, Gee. I’ll be back…,”

Mikey got up and rushed to his bedroom, slamming the door shut and landing on his bed, sobbing loudly into a pillow. As Frank and Mandy got out of the bathroom with Gerard’s supplies for his bed bath, Frank stopped by Mikey’s door and heard his cries beyond it. He sighed deeply and shook his head. He knew this was going to be a rough couple or so months for him and Gerard, as well as his baby brother.

*

*

*

The rest of the day was filled with everyone getting used to the new routines of taking care of Gerard. It was strange not having him at the table with Frank and Mikey, and it hurt even more that they couldn’t converse with him anymore. Due to Gerard’s immensely weak and withering state, he stayed in bed for most of the day, with his caregivers staying on top of changing and repositioning him periodically, as well as keeping him company. Despite Gerard still being alive, Frank felt that he has been absent from the apartment lately. It felt almost completely empty without his lively presence within the home, and downright depressing. It didn’t help that his brother was a completely depressed wreck, refusing to come outta his room and join the living. He didn’t even bother to come out for lunch or dinner, or sit with Gerard and the others when they watched a movie in his room earlier today. Whenever Frank tried talking to Mikey, he simply ignored him, telling him to just leave him alone. Later that night shortly after Thomas arrived for his shift, Frank could barely sleep, as Mikey next to him in bed kept tossing and turning and stealing the covers, mumbling Gerard’s name in his sleep. He figured that Mikey needed him nearby, since sleeping with Gerard at this rate was too dangerous. Frank soon gave up trying to sleep and looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand--it was past midnight. He sighed and sat up in bed, rubbing at his tired eyes and walking outta the bedroom and to the living room, where he found Thomas on the couch reading a Star Trek novel.

“How’s Gerard?” Frank asked.

“Just checked on him. His diaper is dry, but he’s not sleeping for some reason. He looks pretty shaken up, honestly,”

“Oh, alright. I’ll go in and check on him,” Frank said, walking down the hall to Gerard’s bedroom. He knocked on the door lightly and walked inside, the room lit by a lamp in the corner. He knew Gerard hated the dark. His eyes were open, facing the ceiling as his body laid in bed, with blankets covering him to keep him warm and pillows tucked under and in between areas of his body to make him comfortable, and also lessening his risk of developing pressure sores. There was a machine hooked up to him to monitor his vitals alongside the feeding tube machine and oxygen concentrator for his tracheostomy. When Frank sat down to get a closer look at him, he noticed his eyes were a little open wider than the usual and his pulse on the monitor was slightly elevated, as well as his oxygen level. He knew Thomas was right; Gerard didn’t look all too well. He looked restless at this late time of night.

“Hey, Gee. What are you doing up this late? You okay?” Frank asked, brushing away Gerard’s bangs from his perspiring forehead. “Are you too hot? Here, I think you are,”

Frank got up and removed some of the blankets off of Gerard, placing them aside so that only a light sheet was covering Gerard’s fragile body that’s dressed in a black t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. He then turned on the ceiling fan on low and returned to Gerard, seeing that his heightened pulse has barely changed.

“You poor thing,” he sighed. “Is something on your mind, baby?”

Frank looked deep into Gerard’s eyes, trying to find the tiniest bit of life behind them. He coulda swore he saw them light up slightly. He thought long and hard about what it is that’s been bothering Gerard, the first thing coming to him being Mikey.

“I know, Gee. It really sucks knowing how down in the dumps Mikey is. It’s gonna take time for him getting used to the situation at hand,” Frank said, carding his fingers through Gerard’s hair. “I just gotta be there for him, like we all are for you. You were right, Gee. He does need me,”

Frank leaned down and left a kiss on Gerard’s forehead, wiping up a string of drool that fell from his lips and ran down his chin. He looked back at the monitor to see his pulse starting to ease down a bit and smiled.

“How about some music, Gee? That ought to help you sleep,” Frank smiled, getting up and putting on a song on Gerard’s mp3 player that’s hooked up to a pair of speakers, with the sound of soft guitars filling the room. It was “18th Floor Balcony” by Blue October, a band that Frank knew that Gerard is very fond of. As the song played, Frank slowly laid his head down on Gerard’s stomach and shut his eyes. He hummed along to the song softly as Gerard’s body breathed in and out, his stomach rising and falling.

_ And I knew it from the start, so my arms are open wide _

_ Your head is on my stomach _

_ No...we’re not going to sleep _

_ Here we are on this 18th floor balcony we’re both… _

_ Flying away… _

Frank looked up back at the heart monitor once the song ended. He sighed in relief and smiled, seeing his pulse back to normal levels. He looked down and felt butterflies flutter in his stomach when he suddenly saw Gerard briefly smile, his lips twitching as a small laugh escaped from them. Frank knew this wasn’t just nerves. Gerard was genuinely happy. He slowly shut his eyes, falling asleep with Frank smiling above him. He leaned down and kissed Gerard on the cheek.

“Sleep well, Gee,” he whispered, getting up from his seat and slowly walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him. He walked down the hall and back to Mikey’s room, getting back into bed with him and under the covers. Mikey now looked a lot more peaceful next to him, much unlike earlier. His body turned towards Frank and snuggled up against him as he wrapped his arms around the younger Way and shut his eyes.


	16. The Hardest Part Of This Is Leaving You

_***Two months later***_

“How was work?” Frank called out from the kitchen as he prepared dinner. Mikey walked in after a long day. He decided last month that he needed to get back to his life outside of the house. This did not include drinking and one night stands. Instead, it was work, meetings with work, and then dinners and nights with Frank. It had been a strange courtship compared to anyone else. After all, Frank still had feelings for the older Way, but as the months went on, he could see how special Mikey was and how blind he was at his feelings. He didn’t jump into anything, though. Other than a few sweet kisses, there was nothing else, and Frank continued to sleep with Mikey in bed now instead of Gerard. He still missed it. He missed his first crush. He missed it all. Frank kissed Mikey lightly and took his briefcase.

“Hope you brought your appetite with you, Mikes. I made stir fry tonight,” Frank said. Down the hall, Sasha emerged from Gerard’s room and gathered up her things.

“Alright Frank, I’m out. Thomas should be here soon though. Thanks for letting me go early,” she said.

“Sure, have a good time at the movies,”

“Thanks,” Sasha smiled, hugging both Frank and Mikey, then leaving out the front door.

“How did the meeting go?” Frank asked, mixing the vegetables in the frying pan and turning off the rice cooker.

“It was alright. Felt like an eternity being in there, though. How’s Gerard?”

“He’s resting. Sasha was reading to him. I gave him some medicine for his cold,” Frank frowned, remembering how hard it was to see Gerard tremble and cry in his bed when he had to inject a needle in his arm to give him his medicine intravenously earlier today. He just hoped it helped, seeing the patient cold and wheezing through the tube cut into his throat, his nose sniffly and skin so pale like never before.

“Okay. I think I’m gonna go check in and see him,” Mikey said as he left a small kiss. Frank nodded and went back to preparing dinner as Mikey walked down the hall to Gerard’s room. Before Mikey knocked, he breathed deeply, feeling his pulse rise slightly. It was still hard to see Gerard in his current state today, even two months later after returning home from the hospital. He had to see him, though. He was his brother, after all. He lightly tapped on the door and walked inside, seeing Gerard in his bed, his eyes shut and looking peaceful despite his rapidly deteriorating state as of lately. “Everyday is Like Sunday” by Morrissey softly played from his mp3 speakers as he slept, his machines around him doing their jobs for his sick body. It was all a sad sight for both Frank and Mikey himself to see, but he couldn’t avoid it. He knew Gerard needed company, especially now. Mikey pulled up a chair and sat at his brother’s bedside, watching him sleep. It wasn’t long before Gerard’s eyes slowly opened, his dull hazel orbs barely showing themselves. It was like he was expecting to see Mikey. He could have sworn he saw them twinkle, like those eyes were trying to greet him.

“Hey, Gee. Sorry if I woke you up. I just wanted to check up on you,” Mikey spoke calmly, leaning forward to give Gerard a kiss on his hot forehead. He frowned, seeing that he still hasn’t made much progress with recovery from his supposed cold. He knew that yet another doctor’s visit is soon to come for Gerard. “I hate to tell you this, but I think we’re gonna have to get you to Dr. Urie for this cold. It’s been two weeks and you’re not getting any better,”

Beside Mikey, Gerard began to wheeze and choke up through the tube in his throat, his entire body slightly quivering from the sickness. Mikey could tell in Gerard’s eyes he was in so much pain, and the worst part about it was that there wasn’t much that could be done, other than to make Gerard comfortable in his final days. Mikey hoped that Dr. Urie could at least give him something to soothe his hurt, even if there was almost no point in doing so. He knew Gerard was close to death. He reached out and held his brother’s limp hand until Gerard’s body stopped tensing up and soon passed out, his dying eyes shut. Mikey sighed deeply and looked over to Gerard’s speakers for his I-Pod, then got an idea. It was an idea so good that he might as well have had a lightbulb light up above his head, making a ding sound. He kissed Gerard one last time before he walked back out to the dining room for some dinner. He needed to talk to Frank about this idea.

_ _ _

“You’re thinking I should play for Gerard?” Frank asked as he and Mikey ate their stir fry at the dining room table. It had been forever since he played in front of anyone due to his anxiety. He remembered having one right on stage when he participated in the high school’s variety show when he was a freshman. A lot kids he didn’t know were there, as well as, of course, Mikey and Gerard.

“Yeah, it would be good for him. You know how much he loves music. It seems to ease his pain a little, you know?” Mikey replied in an encouraging manner. “You remember that one time you sang to him and it made him smile, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” Frank nodded as he smiled a little, looking back at the bittersweet memory. “I have to think about that, Mikey. I mean, I do have my guitar with me to practice in my down time, but...you know how I am playing in front of others,”

“Oh come on! It’s just Gerard, for pete’s sake. Do you think he’s gonna give you a hard time? He’d love it!”

“I guess you’re right,” Frank said as he collected his and Mikey’s empty plates and put them in the sink. He looked at the time--it was almost ten, around the time when Gerard retires to bed, even though he’s already there, and has been almost all day. It shouldn’t be too late for him to play for Gerard, but what made Frank nervous was the fact that he’d be playing in front of someone else. Sure, it wasn’t a gig, where he’d be playing for a bunch of people, but it was still in front of one person--a person he knew, who’s also practically on his deathbed. He knew he had to suck it up and get his shit together. He knew Gerard would appreciate someone playing music for him. Frank picked up his acoustic guitar he saved up some of his work’s pay for and walked to Gerard’s bedroom, lightly tapping on the door before stepping inside. Frank felt a pang in his chest when he got a good look at Gerard. Something was bothering him, and Frank could tell so by the tears leaking from Gerard’s eyes. What made it all worse was that Gerard couldn’t tell him what’s wrong. He couldn’t tell him if he was in pain or if he was just sad, angry, or scared. Frank sighed deeply, setting down his guitar and walking to Gerard’s aid. He looked at his vitals monitor at his bedside to see that nothing was wrong. He figured that what was bothering Gerard was the fact that he was sick with this damn cold he’s had for the past couple of weeks, and that he was just in pain.

“Hey Gee, what’s wrong?” Frank asked him, stroking a hand through his hair and kissing him lightly on the cheek. He could tell through Gerard’s eyes that he was really hurting, and it was eating at him. “You poor thing,”

Frank sat down on a chair beside Gerard’s bed and continued to comfort him to the best of his ability. He didn’t even know what to play for him until he suddenly had an idea when he looked at one of the framed posters hung on Gerard’s wall--a Beatles poster from the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band era. He knew Gerard to be very fond of the Beatles for a long time, and remembered when Gerard would blast their music from his record player whenever he hung out at his house during their high school years. Frank knew just what song to play for Gerard--”Blackbird”, his favorite song.

“So I know you love music, Gee. Mikey suggested I do a little something for you,” Frank said as he picked up his guitar and held it in his lap, tuning the strings. “Hopefully this’ll help,”

Before Frank started to play, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, counting to ten. He knew he couldn’t be an anxious mess in front of his patient. That would just be so unprofessional of him. He knew that Gerard was aware of his anxiety, but he still had to have himself prepared and collected. He began to strum the strings to play a Beatles song he knew Gerard loved.

“ _ Blackbird singing in the dead of night…, _ ” Frank sang to Gerard. “ _ Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life. You were only waiting for this moment to arise, _ ”

Frank played the song for Gerard as he heard his cries of pain and sadness die down. He knew it was working, so of course he kept going. He smiled when he saw a weak and brief, but heartwarming grin grow on Gerard’s face.

“ _ Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life. You were only waiting for this moment to be free,”  _ Frank continued, still smiling as he played for Gerard.  _ “Blackbird, fly….Blackbird, fly….Into the light of the dark black night,” _

Frank soon ended the song after a few minutes passed, strumming the last of the notes on his guitar before he set it aside and stood up to get a good look at Gerard. He was smiling at him and his tears were gone, even though his face was still red and raw from them. He clearly enjoyed what Frank did for him, and knowing that made Frank so happy.

“I see you liked that, Gee,” Frank said before a yawn emerged from him, indicating that it’s time to go to bed. Frank kissed Gerard goodnight and left the room, feeling accomplished.

_ _ _

Mikey woke up with a start. Something was not right with Gerard. He could feel it. He hopped out of bed and headed for Gerard’s room, his heart in his chest pounding and racing.

“Gee? Everything okay?” he asked as he walked up to Gerard’s bedside. He knew Gerard couldn’t answer him, but he still felt better saying it. There was definitely something wrong with Gerard, Mikey thought to himself. Gerard was sweating profusely as he gasped for air, looking helpless. His eyes were begging for help. “Gee? Gee, what’s wrong?”

Mikey looked at the vitals monitor machine near Gerard’s bedside. He saw something out of the ordinary on it--a spike in Gerard’s temperature. Mikey gasped, running right out of Gerard’s bedroom and to Frank in their own bedroom. He was right. Something was horribly wrong with his brother.

“Frankie!” Mikey cried out, causing Frank to jolt out of bed and stumble around hearing Mikey call his name.

“What’s wrong, Mikey?” Frank asked.

“Gerard has a high fever, we need to get him to the hospital!” Mikey yelled worriedly. Frank went into action and pulled out his phone, dialing 911. Mikey ran back to Gerard, keeping an eye on him and comforting him. “Gerard, come on Gee, look at me,” he said, leaning over Gerard’s body in bed, stroking his perspiring forehead. Tears ran down Gerard’s eyes. This was it. He was gonna die. He told himself in the past that he was not afraid of dying. He embraced it. Not now, though. It was really happening, and it made him scared to death. He gasped for air through the tube in his throat, wanting to reach out to Frank and hold on to him for his dear life. Frank grabbed everything that they would need and quickly got dressed. Mikey followed suit. Tey did what they could, but they were powerless til the EMTs got there.

“What’s going on here?” one of them asked, wheeling in a stretcher.

“Gerard’s experiencing a spike in his temperature,” Frank answered.

“Alright, let’s take it from here,” the EMT replied. Together, all the EMTs pushed Frank and Mikey aside to let them tend to Gerard. Mikey stood there in horror, trying to hold back tears.

“Shh, it’s okay baby, I got you,” Frank whispered to Mikey, while the EMTs worked to get Gerard on the gurney.

“He’s gonna die, Frank. I know he is…,” Mikey held Frank, burying his face into Frank’s chest and sobbing.

“Shh, we don’t know that, he may pull through like he did last time,” Frank replied reassuringly.

“I don’t know, Frank...he is at the end of the line,”

“Anyone riding with us?” one of the EMTs asked. Frank looked over to Mikey.

“You go ride with them, Mikey. Be with your brother. I’ll call the others and meet you there,” Frank replied.

“Okay…,” Mikey turned away, glancing at Frank one last time before he walked with Gerard to the ambulance. Frank quickly called Mandy, Sasha, and Thomas and told them which hospital to go to. He then got into his car and drove off.

_ _ _

Frank and Mikey sat patiently in the emergency room. Mikey slept on Frank’s shoulder, looking peaceful for once in a long time. Frank kept looking at the clock. It had been four hours since they got to the ER, but no one came out and said anything to them. Dr. Urie was called in and he stopped to see Mikey and Frank, but that was it.

“Mmm…,” Mikey mumbled, his head turning side to side in his disturbed sleep. “Gerard...Gee, no…,”

“Shh, shh. I got you, Mikey,” Frank whispered as he held and rocked the younger Way in his arms.

“Frankie?” Mikey poked his head up, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“Yeah, baby. I’m here,” Frank said reassuringly. Mikey smiled a little through his sad eyes. They were still waiting for his brother. “No one has come out yet,”

“I thought so…,” Mikey frowned.

“Do you want some coffee?” Frank asked.

“Of course,”

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” Frank said as he got up and headed for the cantina. Mikey got up and paced around the room, not at all caring about the odd looks he got from the others in the waiting room, waiting for whatever it is that brought them here.

“Please be okay, Gee…please, please be okay,” he said shakily under his breath. At that moment, a nurse walked by. Mikey turned to her, his eyes frantic. “H-how is he? Please tell me my brother is okay!” Mikey begged.

“I don’t know sweetie, but I will see if the doctor can talk to you at least,” the nurse replied.

“Please do!” Mikey nearly yelled, making a few heads around him turn.

“Alright, but you need to calm down for me,”

“Okay...I’m sorry,” Mikey sighed, trying his best to recollect himself.

“It’s alright, hun. I’ll be right back,” the nurse said as she walked off.

“Thank you,’’ Mikey breathed out. He sat back down, rubbing his face with his hands. He couldn’t wait any longer.

“Michael Way?” Dr Urie called out, walking up to his patient’s brother. He looked tired, to say the least. “You can go see him now, but only one at a time,”

“Oh...why’s that? How is he?”

“He...he is…,” Dr. Urie paused, looking deep in thought how to put his words together. “It’s better if you just see for yourself,”

“Oh...alright,” Mikey spoke shakily, feeling a pang in his chest. He excused himself and walked with Dr. Urie up the elevator and to room 734, in the intensive care unit. They both stopped in front of his room that was slightly ajar.

“Just so you are not shocked, he is in an oxygen tent. He may not be able to say anything, but he can still hear you, and his eyes are as expressive as ever. Listen to him through them,”

“Okay,” Mikey nodded as he and Dr. Urie walked inside to see Gerard...or at least, what was left of him. Mikey gasped when he saw what his brother was reduced to. He felt the sting of tears come back, and this time, he didn’t try to fight them back.

“Talk to him. I’ll be by later when Frank comes back,” Dr. Urie said as he put a hand on Mikey’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly. He then left the room. Mikey grabbed a chair and sat at Gerard’s bedside, holding his shiftless and atrophied hand in his shaking one.

“Hey Gee,” Mikey said reluctantly, sitting down at Gerard’s bedside. “I know you can’t talk, but...but…,”

Mikey broke down, burying his face into his hands. He still couldn’t believe what his brother had been reduced to--a barely functioning body that’s hanging on to it’s life by a thread. He just looked so cold and helpless under that tent.

“I’m sorry, Gerard. I know you wouldn’t wanna see me like this, but...I’m scared to lose you! Who am I gonna read to at night? Who’s gonna be there when I feel like fucking dying? Who’s gonna be there to give me a reason to keep fighting? I...I love you, Gerard! I love you, big brother!”

_ _ _

Downstairs in the lobby, Frank returned with two cups of hot coffee to find Mikey gone. He turned to the receptionist for any answers. He just hoped both he and Gerard were okay.

“Mikey’s in with his brother, but you can only go in one at a time,” she said.

“Oh,” Frank simply replied, sitting down in one of the lobby chairs. He saw Dr. Urie walk up to him, his face morose and exhausted.

“Frank, I am very sorry, but...it doesn’t look like Gerard’s gonna pull through this time. We found he has pneumonia, and as you may know, that’s the leading cause of death for people with ALS. He’s very, very, sick. He doesn’t have long to live,”

“That explains the high temperature,” Frank said, trying to remain professional, even though deep down he was hurting from the fact that his friend was soon to die at any given day now.

“When Mikey is done, you can go see him,” Dr. Urie walked off. “I’ll be back soon to check up on him,”

“Of course,” Frank replied as he took a sip of his coffee and stared at nothing.

_ _ _

Mikey stroked his brother’s forehead, leaving a kiss on his cheek as he quietly cried. He had to get his act together in front of his dying brother, despite the weight of his situation. He thought of what Dr. Urie told him earlier. He looked into Gerard’s eyes, so sick yet so lively. They’re the only signs of life inside of him. It’s the only way left he can communicate with the graying world around him.

“Good god, Gee. You’re a real fighter. You know that, right? Never thought I’d have someone so strong for a big brother,” Mikey told him. Gerard laughed through his eyes, glimmering with doubtful humor. Just because his mouth couldn’t talk doesn’t mean his eyes can’t. He knew he still had a lot to say before his inevitable demise.

“What? Don’t you look at me like that, Gee. You know I didn’t mean it like that. You have hell of a lot more guts than I do. I wish I could be as brave as you. I can see it in your eyes you’re ready…,” Mike gulped, feeling the tears return. “I just wish I could say the same…,”

Mikey looked back at Gerard’s eyes again. There was something distinct about them. They didn’t look distressed in the least, like they were in the midst of his crisis. They’re calm, like they’re ready to take on whatever is thrown at them. It’s like Gerard is at peace despite what’s happening to him. It’s like he’s ready to let go...and he wants his younger brother to do the same.

“Oh, Gee,” Mikey shook his head. “I knew this day would come...but not this soon. I know we’re told to let go in the end or be dragged, but I don’t know if I can let--”

Mikey stopped. Gerard’s eyes have changed again. They’re telling him it’s okay. They’re telling him to be at peace when he’s gone. He’s telling him to not be sad that it’s all over, but to be happy it all happened. They’re telling him to let go…

“Gerard, I know you want me to move on with Frank. I want you to be happy. I don’t wanna disappoint you, Gee. I wanna make you proud, and if letting go is what you want me to do...I will. I won’t be able to do it right away, and it’ll take time to heal, but...I’ll do it. I’d rather let go than be dragged,” Mikey leaned forward and left one final kiss on Gerard’s cold forehead, looking deep and speaking to those eyes of his.

“I’ll let Frank come and see you now. I’ll see you later, alright? Be good, Gee...goodbye,” Mikey said as he stood up and left, exiting out the door as he turned back and waved to Gerard, whose eyes waved back and smiled. Frank watched Mikey come out of the room. He looked...different, like a great weight was lifted from his shoulders.

“Hey, Mikey. You alright?” Frank asked.

“Yeah...I’m fine,” Mikey nodded, smiling a little. “Gerard’s itching to see you,”

“Itching?” Frank furrowed a brow at him. “Alright, then. Here’s your coffee, Mikey. I’ll be back,” he said, kissing Mikey as he handed him his coffee and went into Gerard’s room. As Frank entered, Gerard looked over at him from his bed, his eyes greeting him inside. He felt like shit despite not feeling anything at all, but that didn’t matter. He had some words to exchange with Frank.

“Hey, Gee,” Frank said as he walked in and stood by Gerard’s bed. Sitting made it hard to see Gerard’s eyes and it was the only expression he had left.

“Hey, Gerard...you remember when we first met?” he asked, seeing a twinkle in Gerard’s eyes. “Yeah, you were at the park with Mikey hogging the only two swings. I pushed Mikey off his, and you jumped up and knocked me off. We fought in the dirt til our parents yelled that it was time for lunch. Then we ate bolonga sandwiches and I shared my cookie with Mikey and you forgave me. Kids are fucking weird, huh?” he laughed, and he could see Gerard laughing through his eyes.

“It’s a long way from the sand box days, huh Gee?” Frank asked as he took Gerard’s limp hand into his. “Do you know when I first fell in love with you?” he questioned, seeing that Gerard’ eyes had no idea.

“It was when we went skinny dipping. I had seen you in your bathing suit before so it should not have mattered, but...man it was so cliche. You came up from under the water with a spray like some fucking shampoo commercial and your hair was soaked and the sun was hitting it and the water glistened and your ass was half exposed and you turned to me and smiled. I was a goner,” Frank laughed. He could see through Gerard’s eyes that he was surprised. “Yup, I was stupid for you after that and I kept showing off and doing all those stupid dangerous stunts. You patched me up so many times too,” Frank smiled and rubbed Gerard’s hand with his thumb. “I love you Gee, and I’m going to miss you so much, but I have to thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving me even half a chance with you. Thank you for accepting my proposal no matter how short it was. For letting me back into your life. For giving me Mikey and for...for just being you, Gee,”

Frank touched Gerard’s proposal ring as he leaned over and caressed Gerard’s face. He kissed him on the lips, shutting his eyes. When their lips parted from each other’s, Frank smiled at him.

“Thank you Gerard Way, for being a part of my life. I’ll see you later,” Frank said as he kissed Gerard on the cheek lightly and squeezed his hand before he left the room. Gerard’s eyes watered as Frank left. He knew he’d miss everyone. He’d miss Frank, Mikey, Ray, and even mom and dad. He had left his mark on this world, and is now soon to leave it. He just hoped that his mark would stay with Frank and Mikey when they carried on. A single tear ran from his eye as he looked back at the first time he fell in love with Frank. He had saved him numerous times from bullies, and after a specific time he stood up to one of them, he looked Frank deep in the eyes, those hazel orbs full of something that can never be taken away from him, something that he carried with him through high school and beyond. He hoped share that with Mikey. He’s sure he would. Slowly, Gerard closed his eyes, falling into a slumber. It’s getting late. It’s time for him to sleep…

_ _ _

“Hey baby, ready? I’m thinking of stopping and getting some Chinese food. How does that sound?” Frank asked as he walked out of Gerard’s room.

“Sounds great. I could go for some of that orange chicken,” Mikey stood up. Frank chuckled and put an arm around his boyfriend as he lead him to the elevator.

“One day Mikey Way, one day I will get you to eat something other than that garbage,” he said.

“Oh, come on. You gotta admit it’s really good. Same goes for those crab rangoons!” Mikey argued playfully as the elevator door opened, and they both went inside.

“Mikey, I’m going to say the same thing I told your brother when he tried to get me to eat that shit years ago. You have no taste, if you think this has taste,”

“You’re silly, Frank. You know that, right?” Mikey sneered, nudging Frank playfully.

“Yes, so you and Gerard have told me many many times,” Frank said as the elevator closed and started down.


	17. So Long And Goodnight

Gerard died on the night of March 29th at around eleven pm. A couple days prior to his demise, he fell asleep, only to never wake up. He passed away peacefully with his eyes smiling. His wake took place on the morning of April 1st at a beautiful looking catholic church that was built just last year. Frank, Mikey, and Rosalie loved how good Gerard looked in his ebony black coffin with white lining. He looked so peaceful, they all claimed. The mortician did a fascinating job making Gerard look great, even in death. Now with the funeral itself taking place, Frank took the stand as he looked over at Gerard’s closed casket, surrounded by colorful flowers and pictures of him, all of them holding sacred memories.

“Gerard Arthur Way was a great friend,” he spoke into the microphone. “That’s not enough though. He was a great friend, he was confident, he was a lover, he was human. Oh fuck it, Gerard Way was great period,” he said, the audience in front of him giving a small laugh, and Frank saw Mikey roll his eyes affectionately.

“I knew Gerard since we were kids. All throughout my childhood and teenage years he was there. We saw every milestone together. We went through the good times and the bad times...well, I thought we did. We lost touch after he graduated high school before me and went off to college. There were many years where I didn’t know anything going on in his life. I thought it was just part of growing up. You know, you move on...but I never really did. Gerard Way was my first love, and you never forget your first. I will admit that I was shocked to find out that he was now a patient of mine though. It showed me how much we both had changed. Still it wasn’t long before we were back to where we left off, and even with his deteriorating condition, we still found that place of childhood memories together. Nothing made me happier to til the end. I love you, Gerard Way. Thank you for everything,”

“Thank you, Mr. Iero,” the church minister said from across the room as Frank walked off the podium. “And now, we will hear from Gerard’s younger surviving brother, Michael James Way,”

“Mikey,” Frank corrected.

“Excuse me?” the minister turned to Frank.

“Just Mikey is fine,” Mikey added.

“Oh, of course. Mikey Way,”

Frank smiled and headed down the stairs. He passed Mikey on the way and they squeezed hands. Frank went to sit next to his grandmother.

“Bella bambino, molto bella,” she said.

“Grazie, nonna,”

When Mikey got up to the podium, he tapped the microphone before speaking into it, gazing over at the closed black coffin that his brother laid in peacefully. He gulped, anxious but ready to speak.

“Gerard was more than just my big brother...he was my best friend,” he began. “He helped me through everything, from teaching me to ride a bike with no training wheels, to surviving high school, to my struggle with alcoholism, amongst other things. I don’t think I’d be standing up here in front of all of you if it hadn’t been for him. He was my hero, better than any comic book superhero...even Batman, who was always our favorite growing up,” Mikey smiled a bit as the crowd laughed lightheartedly. “He was also a fighter like a superhero, his illness and obstacles along the way being the supervillain. Despite his ailment, he fought bravely. I don’t think I’ve known anyone as brave as Gerard. He’s inspired me to keep fighting, no matter how bad things get…,” Mikey turned to his brother again, smiling. “I love you, big brother,”

The audience applauded, and Mikey walked off the podium and down the aisle, where he met up with Frank and Rosalie.

“That was lovely, Mikey,” Rosalie said as she hugged Mikey, then gave him to Frank. Frank hugged him tightly.

“You did great, baby,” he smiled. There were a few more words from the minister, and then it was all over. All that was left was the drive to the cemetery. The casket was carried down the aisle to the hearse as the woman at the organ played softly.

“Well? Shall we go?” Mikey asked, turning to Frank and Rosalie as they watched the casket being loaded into the back of the hearse. Frank nodded and helped his grandmother with her coat. Mikey slipped his on and followed the others out into the April rain.

“I find it a bit amusing that it’s April Fool’s day and it’s raining like crazy. I think Gee would have liked it,” Frank commented.

“He sure would have. Gerard loved the rain,” Mikey replied. Frank, Mikey, and Rosalie all got into the limo and rode to the cemetery that was only a short distance from the church. When they arrived, Frank opened up his umbrella, leading Mikey and Rosalie to Gerard’s gravestone, with his birth and the date of his death engraved on it. It rested against a the tree that presided over Gerard’s final resting place waiting to be placed once the burial was over. Frank held Mikey’s hand as the priest spoke about ashes to dust and the loved ones awaiting Gerard at the gates of heaven as they lowered the coffin in. Frank picked up a handful of dirt and threw it in. Mikey did the same and then Rosalie threw in the rose she was carrying.

“Thank you,” Mikey whispered to her. She smiled and then stepped back. Then the workers started to shovel dirt over the coffin as the priest closed his bible.

“Well...I guess that’s it,” Frank said as the workers slowly made the sleek black coffin disappear.

“No, it’s not. It never will be. Gerard will always be with us...right, Gee?” Mikey smiled sadly down at Gerard’s grave, setting down a bouquet of flowers in varying colors at the foot of the grave. Frank smiled back.

“Yeah, you’re right. He will be,”

“He’ll be missed too…,” Mikey said, the smile on his face vanishing.

“Now now, no frowning. We are going to celebrate Gerard’s life,”

“I know, Frank...I know. I’m sorry. It’s just gonna be hard getting used to living without him. It’ll feel awfully lonely back at home,”

“About that...um…,” Frank started. “I kind of bought a new apartment...and I wanted you to move in with me and create new memories,”

“Really?” Mikey’s eyes lighted up. “Why didn’t you tell me about buying a new apartment?”

“I wasn’t sure if you would be willing to leave the place you and Gee lived in before,”

“Well…,” Mikey looked down back at Gerard’s grave. “I’d hate to let go of our memories together, but...I know that Gerard would want me to move on,”

“So you move in with me then?”

“Of course I will!” Mikey exclaimed happily. Frank beamed and hugged Mikey. He reached up and caressed his cheek, kissing him.

“I love you, Mikey Way,” Frank whispered.

“I love you too, Frank Iero!” Mikey smiled. Frank took Mikey’s hand and led him away from the past and toward their future together.

_***Time Stamp: One Year Later April 9th***_

The spring sun shone down on Gerard’s decorated gravestone, where Frank, Mikey, and Rosalie walked together to with flowers and balloons in their hands.

“Happy birthday, Gee!” Frank smiled as he put the flowers down over the grave and secured the balloons with a rock.

“You’re twenty-six now, big bro...or at least, you would have been,” Mikey smiled sadly, sitting down next to Gerard at his grave, reading over the words engraved into the stone.

“Nah, he’s twenty-six. More than a quarter of a century, man. Right, Nonna?”

“Yes, a very big milestone indeed. Congratulations, Gerard,” Rosalie said, smiling down at Gerard’s decorated grave.

“It’s a shame you didn’t make it to this day, but...at least we still get to celebrate it with you, Gee. Right?” Mikey asked, to which Frank rolled his eyes.

“Mikey...it’s a party, man. Stop being a downer!” he replied, playfully confronting the sullen Mikey next to him.

“Sorry, Frank...I just...I miss him,” Mikey frowned, turning back to the grave of his late brother “I hate to be a Debbie Downer in front of you Gee, but...things have changed so much since you left. New home, new lives...new everything,”

“Is that so bad?” Frank asked.

“Not really...I just wish Gerard could be part of it,” Mikey replied, still looking down at Gerard. “You would love our new apartment, Gee. It’s still big and it’s out in the woods, away from everyone. It’s beautiful. We even have a little art studio where we keep all your works,”

“The lighting in the room really makes them come alive. You would be proud, Gee,” Frank added.

“We all miss you, Gee...you really brought light to the house, as well as our lives…” Mikey wiped at his eyes, feeling tears leak from them. He knew he had to contain himself. He knew his brother would hate to see him cry.

“Come on you two, this is a celebration, let’s eat our picnic lunch and then have cake,” Rosalie chided.

“Alright. You wanna see what we packed, Gee? I bet it’s really good. I remember you were always very fond of cake, too,” Mikey added. Rosalie started to take the food out. There were eggplant sandwiches, crisp cold tomato and cucumber salad, and bottles of refreshing grapefruit soda. For dessert besides the cake, there was fresh fruit, wine, and cheese.

“A perfect birthday feast,” she smiled.

“Indeed. Looks great, huh?” said Mikey.

“My mouth is watering already,” Frank added. Rosalie set up the plates. She handed one to Mikey and two to Frank. Frank placed one next to Gerard’s grave.

“Here, Gee! Eat up!” he said. Mikey smiled as he pictured Gerard eating up his food. He knew he’d love all this, and that now he’s up in a better place, smiling down at them as he chowed down. He’s free from his illness, no longer an empty shell of a body with tubes feeding and breathing for him. Mikey, Frank, and Rosalie all finished their lunch among the light banter back and forth. Then, Rosalie set out the cheese, fruit, and wine. Frank gave Gerard a plate for all that as well.

“Eat up, Gee. We brought your favorite red wine, imported from Italy!” Frank smiled. He took the bottle and poured some into the dirt right at the head of the stone.

“You’ll make all the worms and pill bugs ubriaco, bambino,” Rosalie said, concerned.

“They can celebrate too, then,” Frank laughed.

“You and Gee always shared the same sense of humor. I think you developed it the more you were around Gee,” Mikey shook his head as he laughed with Frank. Frank grinned and popped a few grapes in his mouth. They all soon finished their fruit, cheese, and wine and decided to sing happy birthday to Gerard, all of them still gathered at Gerard’s grave.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Geeeee….Happy birthday to you!” they all sang in unison. Mikey and Rosalie applauded until Mikey took Frank into a hug and left a kiss on the cheek. The cake was sliced and handed out. Gerard’s favorite, strawberry shortcake. They all ate their slices and enjoyed the sunshine.

“I am so full,” Frank said, patting his tummy.

“Me too, Frankie. You enjoying your cake, Gee?” Mikey asked, turning to Gerard’s stone. A small wind picked up and blew through the area. Frank just knew it was Gerard.

“Yeah, he enjoyed it,”

“Good, Gee...I’m glad,”

“Well, I think it’s time to clean up now. The sky looks like it is starting to cloud over,” Rosalie added. The men helped her clean up quickly.

“Well, Mikey...you ready to give Gee his present?” Frank asked, grabbing the balloons.

“Of course,” Mikey said. Frank smiled taking Mikey into his arms. They held the balloons together.

“Ready? One...two...three!”

They let together, the variously colored balloons floating up and away into the evening sky. Then Frank took out his slingshot that he used to play with when Gerard and he were younger. They used to take turns knocking over cans with rocks off a fence. Frank aimed the rock at the rising balloon in the middle. He shot the rock out, and it popped the balloon, raining glitter on everything.

“Nice shot, Frankie!” Mikey smiled. A rumble of thunder rolled across the sky.

“Come on you two, let’s get going,” Rosalie called out.

“Okay. See you later, Gee,” Mikey waved to his brother, helping Frank and Rosalie gather up their things. They then headed back to the car. Mikey looked back one last time at Gerard’s grave, seeing him wave goodbye back to them as the rain began to fall. Mikey waved back, knowing that they are all soon to meet again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I had a few readers asking me why this fic looks different from my usual ones and reads differently. As I stated in the first chapter, this is not my fic, so I am not editing it and putting it up...although I do add html to it. ^0^
> 
> I hope it is still enjoyable for everyone though as I am enjoying writing it! ^-^


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